SIB - Somewhere I Belong
by swervin35
Summary: Criminal Analyst and Star Commander Officer, Commandant Bella Swan, finds herself back in Forks helping her father with a series of kidnappings and murders. What she doesn't know is that she is the one really in need of help? (Alternate Universe)
1. Going Back to Forks

**Chapter 1 — Going Back to Forks**

**BPOV**

My name was Isabella Swan, and I was thirty-four years old. I had never been married, but I had had a daughter — _had_ being key, because she was no longer with me. Her name had been Carlie Elizabeth. I had protected her the best way I could, including giving her the last name of my pseudo-parents, Carlisle and Esme Cullen.

My father, Charlie, loved me. It pained him that I couldn't talk to him about Carlie, that I never visited him, and made excuses as to why he couldn't visit me. The reasons all boiled down to one — I was scared of what he would say if he knew the truth. The truth being that I had lied about sleeping and moving on from the loss of my daughter.

I had friends: Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie. My friends would do anything and everything in their power to protect me. I also constantly lied to them about my well-being, but they were not as easily fooled as Charlie.

I had two regrets: walking away from the love of my life, Edward Cullen; and causing my best guy friend, Jake, to walk out of my life. I could have fixed both easily, but I felt it was too late. Why would Edward or Jake talk to me ever again? I had hurt them both. Had they done what I had done, I wouldn't have readily forgiven them.

I sighed and leaned my head back against the cool granite wall, closing my eyes, but images of Carlie assaulted my overtired mind. Groaning, I opened my eyes back up, keeping them trained on the ceiling. I tried not to think. Tried not to give in and let exhaustion take me to the land of slumber, to the land of nightmares. I was tired of all the nightmares. Weary of the stress of not knowing why life had handed me such a rotten hand. I was sick of my one question going unanswered. _Why did Carlie have to die?_

"Commandant Swan," my boss at Star Command, Commissioner Vance Long, called. His voice woke me from the reflective trance I had fallen into while waiting for him. His grey eyes bored into mine, a frown creasing his brows and turning down the corners of his mouth. "You look exhausted."

"I haven't been sleeping well," I supplied, following him into his office. I was truthful. It was pointless lying to him. He knew me. Knew what had happened.

After we both sat down, he slid me a file folder. "You're needed in Forks, Washington."

I blanched but said nothing as I opened the folder.

"There have been four teenagers kidnapped, only to be found two or three days later, dead."

I nodded. Charlie had told me as much. He was flustered and didn't know what to do.

"Two more have gone missing," Vance said, drawing my attention again.

"Sir?"

His eyes spoke volumes, staring at me with a haunted look. He knew of my aversion to returning to Forks. Knew I was about to argue. His hand went up, stilling the words I was about to speak.

"Your father called and requested you, _specifically_. According to Charlie, these kidnappings and murders are the first in years to hit the small community. Not to mention, they have hit the news, but it hasn't been released that they are related."

I nodded again. A profiler was needed, that was why I suggested the FBI to Charlie. "It would cause panic."

"Charlie has said as much. I trust you won't let your personal feelings for the town get in the way of doing your job."

"I won't. But why me?" I knew the answer, but needed to hear it from Vance.

"You're the best. Hell, Bella, you're more than that. You're the expert. You wrote the new standards and procedures on profiling. The FBI is even using them." He beamed at me, proud to have me working under his tutelage.

It bothered me that I wasn't able to react to his praise, however undeserving I felt.

Vance frowned.

"Why isn't the FBI stepping in?"

"Let me repeat myself. You. Are. The. Expert. And the FBI turned his request for help down cold. All their teams are locked in high profile cases."

I sighed. Forks didn't really register on the FBI's deserving-of-help meter. They'd even tried to recruit me. I sighed.

"How long before I leave? And how long will I be in Forks?"

"You leave in two hours. I can't answer how long you will be there. You'll stay until you are no longer needed. Charlie said you could stay with him, but I also made sure there were quarters available on base."

I remained silent. Waiting for the other shoe to drop; it didn't.

"Go and pack, Swan. You can review the case files on your flight. I've already sent the boxes to the shuttle area."

I let out a long breath as I got up to do as ordered. I stopped at his door, turning back. "I'm working alone, right? No team."

"Yes. Unless you find the situation warrants more than you."

I nodded, leaving him sitting in his office.

~~ SIB ~~

Duty brought me back to Forks — a place I had fled from after high school graduation. Duty would kept me in my hometown for an undetermined time frame no matter how much I wanted to flee. Standing beside the car an ensign had just given me the keys to, I was afraid to get in and drive off base. I had no choice. Forks Police Department was the lead agency in the investigations, and I had come to advise and help in any way I could.

Only Charlie knew I was coming, but one name had stood out on the list of officers he had sent to the base: _Mike Newton_. I shuddered. I already knew he was on the force. He wasn't one of my favorite people from high school, but from reading his case reports he was good at his job. I took a deep breath and got into the car, sitting there for a moment before starting it up. I drove slowly toward the front gate.

Five minutes later, I was walking into the police station; it was a little after noon and the smell of pine needles hung in the air. I'd arrived late last night, opting to stay on the base for the night, not knowing what Charlie's schedule was and not wanting him to know the depth of my exhaustion. I hadn't slept much, fearful of what other nightmares or memories would surface if I got more than a couple hours of sleep at a time. "I'm Commandant Isabella Swan —" I started, only to be interrupted by someone coming in.

"Bella, is that you?" I turned to find Mike standing behind me. He was astonished to see me, a wide smile on his face as he stared at me.

"Hi, Mike," I said, pulling at my suddenly tight suit jacket. He was giving me the creeps, like he had in high school. It was as if he wanted to devour me in one bite.

Before either Mike or I could say anything else, Charlie pulled my attention away from Mike.

"Bells, I am glad you're here," Charlie said, giving me a hug.

"You know how I feel about being here," I whispered.

He nodded when he stepped away, eyeing me in his fatherly way. He frowned but said nothing about my appearance.

"Let's get you set up in the conference room."

I nodded but didn't move. I turned back to Mike and threw him my keys. "Can you grab an officer or two and bring in everything that's in the trunk and backseat to the conference room?"

"Sure," he said, catching my keys. "Do you need anything else?"

I shook my head and followed Charlie to the conference room. I had already told him everything else I required and, sure enough, it was fully equipped. Several corkboards were hung around the small room, along with a large map of Forks, another of the Olympic Peninsula and a white board. It was just as I remembered, having sought solace here when Charlie had run for Chief of Police a year after he retired from Star Command. He'd won in a landslide; well, if you could consider it one. He was the only candidate.

"Have there been any other kidnappings or bodies found?" I wanted to immediately get down to business.

"Yes, one kidnapping. Mike will give you a full report."

I nodded.

"I thought you would have a full team." Charlie ran a hand over his face. These incidents must be difficult for him. The mayor was probably demanding answers he couldn't provide.

"I work better alone on these types of cases."

"I know. It's just such a huge case, a lot of victims; a team would come in handy." I shrugged as the door opened, and Mike, along with three other officers, brought in my laptop, other equipment, and the six boxes.

It was for me to determine how big the case was, and not Charlie. I'd request a team if need be, but for now it was manageable.

"Mike, can you take a seat?" I asked, starting up my laptop. I'd worry about the rest of the equipment later. "I'd like you to walk me through the latest kidnapping."

I watched as Mike sat heavily in one of the chairs. "Crystal was taken from her home." He passed me a small photo. Crystal was a green eyed, auburn haired beauty. I glanced at it, setting it aside. "There were no signs of forced entry or unexplained prints." He slammed his hand down on the table. "No evidence or contact from whoever is doing this. She just went missing like all the others. Why would someone — anyone — do this?"

"That is why I'm here, Mike, to help find whoever is doing this. I need you to stay focused. Is there anything you can think of to connect the victims?"

"Other than they all were Forks High School students, no. They had some classes together, but it's a small school; you know that. They were typical students, never in trouble."

"Okay, let's go back to Crystal. How old is she?"

"She's eighteen and was to graduate in December, starting at Washington University in January."

I typed the information into my laptop, thinking about what else I needed to ask Mike, but not wanting to stop and dig out my list of questions; they could wait.

He leaned forward as I tried to recall my questions, touching my arm. I flinched, and he removed his hand, but he got me to look at him. "Bella, I know it has to be hard for you to be back here. When I first saw you, I was shocked, but we all know you have to be the best if your boss sent you. I'm glad you're here to help us."

"That means a lot coming from you, Mike, it really does. All the law enforcement teams I've worked with were always afraid that I was going to come in and take over."

"We asked for help, and I'm guessing they asked, too. Everyone here is at a loss as to what to do next, or who we are looking for; we need help. Your father called us all in and told us Star Command was sending someone to help us. You can't imagine how the mood changed. You'll get no guff from anyone. If you do, just tell me and I'll deal with the problem. Are there any other questions you have, or can I get back to work?"

"I only have one more question. Not case related. Do the Cullens still live in Forks?"

I expected him to be taken aback, but he wasn't. "I was wondering when you were going to ask." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yes, all but Edward. He visits every two weeks." He stood, walking to the door. Pausing, he turned back. "Come to think of it, Edward will be in town later tonight." I looked up as he left the room.

Mike missed the look of shock on my face. Sure, I knew there was a chance I would run into someone I knew, like the Cullens and Mike, but knowing Edward was coming into town in hours did not sit well with me. I shook off thinking of how he would react if I did indeed run into him.

_I can't think about him. It's time to get down to work_, I thought. _I'm here to solve these murder cases. I will not let personal feelings get in my way. I will do my job. If I run into anyone from my past, I will be cordial, like I was with Mike._

I stood and opened the first box, taking out a picture from each series of file folders and pinning them to the wall around the maps. I then placed flags on the map indicating where each victim had been abducted from and pins at where they were found, tying a string to each pin and connecting both to the white pin holding the picture of the victim. I also wrote the details — name, age, birthday, physical characteristics, and education — of the victim on the white board before moving on to the next. At the bottom of the white board, I wrote that all victims were found barefoot, with minimal defensive wounds, and ligature marks at the wrists and ankles. The cause of all deaths was an overdose of acetaminophen. Reading more of the coroner's report, I found that each victim had a blood alcohol level of .24, three times the legal limit. I recorded that on the board, too.

I had been at it for over three hours, even though there were only five victims, when the conference room door slammed open. I almost dropped the pin and crime scene pictures of the last victim. "Bella, another body has been found," Mike said in a rush when I looked over my shoulder at him. When I heard that, I dropped the pictures and pin and grabbed my kit, running out of the room.

"You're riding with me," Charlie said, meeting me at the station entrance. We rushed out. I climbed into the cruiser, and we were silent as we raced to the scene with the siren blaring.

We were moments away when I broke the silence. "What's the procedure?"

"We wait for Doctor Cullen to arrive and clear the body before we do anything with it, but the surrounding area can be searched for evidence."

"_Carlisle?_" I said, more to myself than for Charlie's benefit. I guessed I had no choice in when that reunion would take place.

"Yes. He took over when Doctor Moore retired three months ago. The hospital has yet to find a new coroner, so Carlisle is doing double duty — coroner and overseeing the ER." He stopped the cruiser near a heavily wooded area, shutting it off before looking over at me. "My guys will collect any evidence. You're here to observe."

"Hands off, got it," I said, getting out. I set my case on top of the cruiser. Opening it, I pulled out my digital camera, checking it for the memory card and battery life, and put it around my neck before pulling out a pair of latex gloves and a small, spiral notebook, slipping them in my pocket.

"Chief," I heard Carlisle say as he approached. "I wish we would stop meeting under these circumstances." I turned as they shook hands. "Bella?" he said with a questioning and wide-eyed look.

"It's Commandant Swan," I corrected, an air of professionalism and cordiality to my demeanor, extending my hand. "I'm a criminal profiler with Star Command. Chief Swan asked for me directly to come and to consult on these cases."

Instead of shaking my hand, Carlisle drew me into a hug, surprising me. He held me at arm's length and took me in. He leaned in once again and, in a whisper, told me, "I'm not taking no for an answer. Dinner tonight; you can ride with me once everything is wrapped up."

I just stood there and watched as Carlisle walked off with Charlie. "Are you all right?" Mike asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. I startled, but not enough to warrant him removing his hand.

"Yes," I responded in a weak whisper. Looking around, I noticed the crowd gathered behind the tape. "You had better get to work." I checked my camera once again before following him. I approached the scene watching the ground ahead of me for any evidence — a footprint, a tire tread, a snapped twig, or drag marks — I found nothing. "Chief Swan," I said, keeping a professional air. "I hope you don't mind, I'd like to take my own pictures. I won't get in your way."

"No problem. Just let my guys collect if you find anything."

I nodded and started taking pictures of the wooded area and the crowd. The kidnapper and killer could be watching. Mike was close by when I found a torn piece of cloth; it looked like it could be from a plaid shirt or jacket. "Mike," I yelled. I pointed out the piece of cloth when he joined me. "I don't recall anything from the case files of this nature. Has anything like this been found before?"

"Not to my knowledge. I wasn't at the all the scenes, though," he answered, putting the piece of cloth in a plastic bag.

I checked the ground — still no indication of disturbance — as I moved over toward where Carlisle was still examining the body and began taking pictures. I could feel the bile in the back of my throat from the smell; that was not normal. Though I had never gotten used to the decaying smell, I'd never gotten sick from it.

"Breathe through your mouth, Bella," Carlisle instructed, glancing at me. "You look a little green around the gills."

"I'm fine."

I glanced over at him. He didn't look convinced, his blue eyes moving over my face and a worried look to his expression.

"Really, I'm fine. Can you tell me anything?"

He sighed. "She has been dead for about three to four hours and was moved to this location afterward. There are very few defensive wounds, telling me she was overpowered and couldn't defend herself. Anything more will have to wait until I get her on the table." He turned her hand over. "This is interesting," he said, motioning for one of guys with a camera to come over.

I took a step closer and knelt next to him. "What is it?"

"You've reviewed the other photos," he stated, motioning to the young woman's arm. "Do you recall seeing anything like this?"

I looked down and gasped at the note written on her arm. _This makes 8, and you haven't caught me yet. _Eight? I only knew of five victims; well, now six. Were there two more out there rotting or ravaged by animals? Had I not been told something?

I snapped a few pictures, got up, and walked away from the scene, pulling out my phone. "Vance," the voice of my boss came from the other end.

"It's Swan, sir. Was I given full disclosure? Nothing withheld?"

"Yes, everything was sent. Why?"

"There are eight victims, but I was only informed of four and two missing. When I called Charlie before leaving, he told me there was another found. I'm at the scene of the sixth."

I saw Charlie approaching from where I stood. I motioned for him to stay back. "Eight? I had no idea. Have you asked any questions?"

"No, sir. I wanted to check with you first to ensure I was given everything."

"I packed each of the boxes myself and sealed them. Were any of the seals broken?"

I thought back to when I opened the first box. "No. All were intact. I'd better get to asking questions."

"Keep me informed, Swan, especially if you need a team."

"I don't need a team, sir, but I will keep you informed." I ended the call and turned back to the scene. I walked over to Charlie, ready to ask him questions.

He held up his hand before speaking. "I had no idea there were more victims."

"Okay, that answers that question. I need to go over all your homicide case files. I'll start with the oldest first —" I started, only to be cut off.

"It can wait until tomorrow," he said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "When is the last time you put yourself first, kiddo? Taken a break from your job? These cases aren't going to get solved overnight. Plus, you have dinner plans with Carlisle."

I threw my head back and looked up through the forest canopy at the grey sky. Closing my eyes for a moment, I let myself relax some, but not enough to allow images of Carlie to enter my mind. "You're right, Chief Swan. But I'll want to get an early start tomorrow."

"Good. Here." He handed me a key. "It's to the front door."

"Charlie," I whispered. "I plan on staying at the base."

"Not tonight," he said. "I'm worried about you, and this way I can make sure you sleep."

"What did Vance tell you?"

"Only that you've been overworking yourself, refusing to take any vacation time, and didn't look like you'd been sleeping."

I dropped my head. Sure Vance would tell Charlie. He and Charlie went through the Star Command academy together and were close friends. Even after Charlie retired from Star Command, they'd stayed in touch. "Nightmares," I said, looking up.

"We can talk when you get back to the house. I'll have Mike drop off your car," he said.

Carlisle was on the phone as we joined him. "I'm bringing someone home for dinner," he said, smiling over at me. He spoke quietly for a moment. "No. I'm not going to tell you who. We should be there in twenty minutes. Love you." He placed the phone back in his pocket before turning to us. "The young woman is being taken to the morgue. I'll send you both a copy of my preliminary findings tomorrow afternoon and a full report by the end of the week."

"That's fine," Charlie answered. "If you can get it to us any sooner, it would be appreciated, but no rush."

"Bella, are you ready?" Carlisle asked.

"I guess. Can we stop by the base so I can change?"

"It's part of the plan, Bella." He winked at me before leading me over to his car and opening the car door for me. I slipped inside and buckled up.

"How have you been?" he asked after we were about three miles from the crime scene.

I didn't respond. I didn't know what to say or what he'd been told. I heard him sigh and was grateful when he didn't ask again.

I knew I was in a funk, and that was probably why Vance had sent me here in the first place. A place where he knew I wouldn't be allowed to overwork myself. We were briefly stopped at the gate of the base; he and I both showed passes. I wasn't surprised he still had one, having gained access rights as a doctor.

"It'll take me just a few minutes," I said, getting out with him following.

"I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," I said, unlocking the door to the quarters I'd been temporarily assigned.

My bags were in the front room, exactly where I had left them. I grabbed one and walked out of the room. "Please, have a seat," I called over my shoulder, placing my suitcase on the bed and opening it.

"Here, I thought you might need other bags," Carlisle said, entering. I pulled out a pair of skinny, blue jeans and a dark blue sweater that reached mid-thigh, pairing the outfit with a pair of flat knee-high, black boots.

I rejoined Carlisle, who was waiting patiently in the living room. "All ready?" he asked, standing. I grabbed my handbag and followed him out.

He again opened the car door for me. I smiled at him in what I hoped was a warm way as I slipped in. I was nervous. I didn't really know how I felt about seeing Edward so soon after returning to Forks.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I was exhausted and just needed to rest. However, I just couldn't without seeing images of my baby girl. I jumped when the door was opened again. I looked over and saw we were at the house. How? How had I kept the images of Carlie away? I unfastened the safety belt and took hold of Carlisle's hand.

**A/N: Thanks to all the betas who help me get this chapter solid: AnthroBug, Alice's White Rabbit, Batgirl8968, and jennej.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**


	2. What's With all the Secrets?

Chapter 2 — What's With all the Secrets?

**A/N: I'd proud of this chapter and the way it turned out, but not without help. I've thanked everyone in the A/N at the end of the chapter.**

EPOV

It had been a long workday. All the supply orders were short, and some important ingredients—leeks, shallots, and whipping cream—were missing. The supplier had apologized profusely, found the missing boxes, and scrambled them to the restaurant in time for the evening rush. As a result, I was running three hours late, and the last thing I wanted to do was drive all the way to Forks with Seattle rush hour traffic. I knew I had to go; I had promised my parents that I would come home at least twice a month. I had been keeping that promise for eleven years, but all I wanted to do was go to my home and crawl into bed. I hated going to Forks where I was more susceptible to memories of Bella.

Leaving the restaurant parking lot, I called Mom.

"Hey, Mom. I'm just leaving the restaurant now, so I'm going to be late. It should be about three and a half hours yet, so long as traffic and the ferry don't hold me up."

"Okay, dear. Be careful, and call if you're going to be any later. I'd hate for dinner to get cold."

I smiled as I assured her I would. I cranked up the radio a little and was soon swept away by Linkin Park.

I was about an hour away when my cell rang, and turning down the radio, I answered via my Bluetooth.

"Hey, Edward," Mom said.

I turned the radio even further down. "Do you need me to pick up something?" It was just like Mom to call me if she forgot an ingredient for the evening meal.

"No, I just wanted to give you a heads-up that your dad is bringing home a guest for dinner. I don't know who, so I can't tell you."

"He's not trying to set me up with anyone again, is he?" I chuckled at the memory of the last time he tried. He invited over Jacob Black and a new doctor, Sarah, for dinner. The setup had blown up in his face. Sarah had been more taken with Jacob than me, and now they were getting married. Dad hadn't tried since, but there was always the possibility he'd try again.

"I don't think so. He sounded excited and a little concerned at the same time. All he told me was the dinner guest was the person Star Command sent to help profile whoever was behind all the kidnappings and murders."

I searched my memory for what Star Command was. Charlie had been a Commander for them, but I couldn't seem to remember its function. "Remind me what Star Command is."

"It's a relatively new and globally funded branch of the military. I would say they've been around forty years now. They focus on space exploration and scientific endeavors and discoveries. I recently learned they have personnel who specialize in victim protection, apprehending criminals, and profiling unknown suspects, like the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit. Though, the Star Command profilers typically handle military cases."

"Then why did they send a profiler?

"According to Charlie, the FBI turned down the request for help stating they didn't have any units available, so the FBI recommended a Star Command profiler."

"Who?"

"Charlie wouldn't tell me."

"So, they still haven't gotten any leads," I stated rather than asked, knowing I would've heard something from Dad if there had been a break in the case. I wasn't stupid and didn't believe what the media spewed. There had to be a connection, or a specialist wouldn't have been called.

"I'm afraid not," she replied.

"So, they call in an expert to what—take over the case?"

"Normally you'd probably be right, but from what your dad told me, they were hands off. Just observed, asked a few questions, and that was it. They let the Forks officers and forensics team do their jobs. He also said they took pictures but nothing more."

"Strange, I figured the specialist would take over completely."

"So did your father."

"Wow!" was the only thing I could say while shaking my head. A moment went by before I broke the contemplative silence. "Are you sure there's nothing you need me pick up?"

"No. I hear your father's car. See you …" she started, and I could hear her moving to open the door. "Oh my God!" I heard a loud thump and crunch of what could only be the phone dropping to the rocky driveway. "Bella, is that you?"

_Bella. _Did I just hear that right? I couldn't have. "Mom! Mom?"

"Edward, is that you?" Dad asked, having picked up the phone.

"Yes. Did I hear Mom right?"

"Depends on what you heard." I heard a little chuckle in his voice.

"Bella is the dinner guest you brought home."

"You heard that."

I was silent for a long time. I was going to be seeing Bella again.

"Edward, did I lose you?"

"No, you didn't lose me. Why didn't you tell Mom?" I snapped. I was mad. Mad at Dad for not telling Mom who he was bringing home for dinner. Mad at Bella for breaking up with me sixteen years ago, without giving me an explanation—well, she did. She told me that a long distance relationship wasn't going to work. I was mad at her for not letting me giving me a minute to get a word in before running away from me. Mad at myself for not doing more to find her when she disappeared without a trace.

"I wanted it to be a surprise, and so, I didn't call your mother until right before Bella and I had left the latest crime scene. Don't be mad."

"Don't be mad? Right, because Bella wasn't your world. Because she wasn't the one to break up with you," I retorted. "Didn't you think I needed to know?" I didn't pause or let Dad answer. "Yes, I want to see her again, but it would've been nice to have more than an hour's notice."

"Calm down," Dad said.

"I should be home in an hour or so. Thanks for the heads up," I barked.

I hung up and cranked the radio back up, trying to drown out the memory of the last time I saw Bella. No matter how loud the radio was, the memory came back.

"_I can't do this, Edward," Bella whispered._

"_Bella," I said, trying to catch her arm, only for her to pull further away from me. I gave up. "Just listen to me for a minute. I'm going—" she cut me off._

"_Why? Why should I listen? We both know a long distance relationship won't work. Nothing you can say will convince me otherwise. So, we might as well end things now," she said, throwing the ring I gave her on the ground and taking off at a run._

"_Bella," I shouted as I ran after her, but she was faster, and I have no clue how. I fell to my knees when I saw the familiar shimmer of her being transported away to God knows a where. I looked up and saw a shuttle zoom off. I dropped to my knees, knowing there was no way I would catch her now._

Tears were freely coursing down my face at the memory. Both of my parents, our friends, and her father talked me out of going after her once we learned she had called Charlie from Scotland. She asked for everyone to just give her time. I did, and come that fall, I ended up going to UCLA, but I never saw her there. I had hoped we would've had at least one class together, unless she changed her mind about going to the university.

I even went as far as sending her, through Charlie, a birthday card and present every year, only to have it returned to me unopened. I still had each and every one of those gifts. I didn't have the heart to return them. By returning them, I would be admitting she would never come back to me.

My anger at Dad had faded some when I reached the outskirts of town. Sure, I was still mad at him, and, though I didn't completely understand why he wanted to keep it a surprise, I couldn't blame him. My exasperation was replaced by uneasiness. Did Bella know I would be home? How would she react to seeing me again? I sighed, coming to the decision to stop and get both Esme and Bella flowers—nothing too much, but nice all the same. It might help show Bella that I still cared about her.

I ran into the grocery, only to run directly into Lauren, the pain in my side who believed we should be a couple. _Oh, great. Just the person I wanted to see._ "Not now, Lauren," I said, trying to brush her off.

"Oh, come on, Edward. I know you want to go out with me," she purred, grabbing my elbow, preventing me from going on my way.

"Keep dreaming." I yanked free of her hold, continuing to the florist area of the market. I picked out Esme's favorite, daffodils, and what I hoped were still Bella's favorite, lilies.

When I turned, Lauren was still standing right behind me. "Who are the flowers for?"

I ignored her and started to walk away when she grabbed me again. I noticed Mike rounding the corner still in uniform. "Lauren, get your hands off me!" I yelled loud enough that I knew Mike would hear, causing him to look over at me.

"Is she bothering you, Edward?" He came toward us.

I looked down at Lauren, daring her to keep her hands on me and to have me file another harassment complaint against her. She immediately let go. "Not anymore, Mike."

I turned, facing her again. "Oh, Lauren, touch me again, and I won't hesitate in filing charges. I will _never_ go out with you. Got it?"

She nodded her head slowly.

"Good," I said, walking to the register. After paying, I left and continued driving to my parents' house.

BPOV

I ran right into Esme's outstretched arms as she came down the front steps. I had missed her so much. After graduating college, I lost touch with her when I started taking courses at the academy. Then there was my career as a profiler. Not to mention, after the loss of Carlie, I threw myself into my work. I felt myself crumble as she hugged me.

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

"I'm just so tired. I can't stand it anymore," I found myself admitting in a rush. "I can't keep bottling things up."

"Let's go inside and talk." I think she shared a look with Carlisle.

"Use my office," he offered. "I'll finish up dinner. Edward's still an hour out."

An hour? Edward? I wrapped my arms around my middle. Did he know I was going to be at dinner? Was he married? Did he have children? Oh, Lord. I couldn't face his wife or his children. I started to shake, fear creeping in and taking over.

"Come on, let's go inside," Esme said, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. She helped me inside and up to Carlisle's office. I leaned on her, welcoming her assistance. After she got me settled on the black leather couch, she placed a blanket around my trembling frame and said, "I'll be right back." She returned a few minutes later with a tray of tea and milk. "Here." She handed me a warm cup.

I smiled sadly at her in thanks. I took a sip that didn't warm me as she poured herself a cup. I placed it back on the tray.

"Talk to me," Esme said in her motherly way, wrapping her arm around my shoulder, my head fell against hers.

Fresh tears started. "My life is such a mess. I made so many mistakes, and stopping all contact with you just made my crappy life even harder," I blurted out, my voice rough with my misery. It felt good, though difficult, to get how I have been feeling for the past year and a half off my chest. I needed to tell someone how I felt and what I went through. I couldn't talk to the shrink I was ordered to see; I was glad when the required visits were over. I felt safe and loved with Esme's arm around me. She would listen, as she had so often in the past, and not judge me for not getting help. "After college, I went off to the academy."

"Charlie told me you had," she said when I paused to take a shaky breath. "He was proud when you decided to follow in his footsteps."

I started. What else had Charlie told her? It didn't matter. I took another shuddering breath and continued. "I met a guy. He was sweet and charming, but … things got bad." I swiped at my eyes, sitting up; the hard part was coming. "One night, he came to my apartment—he was drunk."

"Oh!" she gasped. I shied away from her touch when she tried to pull me into a hug, not wanting to be comforted.

"He was someone I trusted and could've seen myself with for the rest of my life. He had been out drinking with his friends and came by my quarters wasted. He just wouldn't take no for an answer. He slapped me around before he… " I couldn't say the word—_raped_— and she seemed to understand." If it wasn't for Charlie coming to visit, the guy probably would have gotten away with it. I suffered a lot of trauma and was in a medically induced coma for several days. I couldn't testify during his arraignment, though it wasn't necessary. I hadn't been his first victim but the only one to survive. The judge denied him bail. I was in Scotland during the trial, recovering, and was glad I didn't have to testify then, either. He will die in prison for murder. As a result of what he did, I had a beautiful daughter." My tears turned to sobs as I started crying harder. Esme pulled me into her arms and just let me weep, rubbing my back like she had every time I ran to her crying because of something Lauren did or said to me.

She held me for the longest time, and eventually, I calmed down. "What's your daughter's name? I'd be more than willing to care for her while you're here," she offered, making the waterworks start all over again. I was glad her arms were still around me.

I pulled back slightly to look at her and saw her tear-streaked face. "Carlie, and she died a year and a half ago."

She pulled me right back into her embrace and cried with me.

"Mom, dinner's ready," I heard Edward say. I didn't see him but heard his footfalls as he came into the room and found us both in tears. "What's wrong?" He sounded concerned and took a few more steps toward us.

Luckily Esme's back was to him, and she pulled away, giving me a wink.

I had to start laughing at her sly wink and the bewildered expression on Edward's face as he looked between the two of us, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. He took another step, his sad puppy dog eyes falling on me. I swallowed hard; my mouth suddenly went dry. The sixteen years had been good to him.

"Just happy to see each other. Tell your father we'll be right down. We need a moment to make ourselves presentable."

"All … right," he said, leaving the room. He didn't sound convinced, his voice rising in a slight question.

I waited until I heard his footsteps on the stairs before speaking. "Thank you."

"Think nothing of it. What you told me is between us only. Now let's both go and splash water on our faces."

EPOV

As soon as I entered Dad's office and heard Bella crying, all thoughts of how angry I was at her fled, quickly being replaced by concern. I wanted to go to her, to pull her into my arms and just hold her. The feeling didn't leave me when I reentered the kitchen to help Dad take all the serving dishes out to the dining room. "They'll be right down," I said.

"Are they okay?" he asked.

"They were both in tears. Mom said that they were happy to see each other."

"Ah." I felt like there was something more behind that than what he was letting on. His face was impassive, not giving anything away as he set down the salad bowl.

"Do you know something?"

"Can't say that I do. Bella was really quiet during the drive to and from the base. She might have said something about being tired when we got here, but I really didn't catch it since I was talking to you."

"I'm worried." I looked into the living room but couldn't see them. After placing the last plate down, I pushed my hand through my hair in frustration.

"I'm not surprised to hear you say that." At my dad's comment, I turned to him, and he smiled. "You have always cared for Bella."

I nodded. It was more than that. I still loved her. I realized that we hadn't seen each in over a decade, but no amount of time would change my feelings for her. I tried to date other women, but I couldn't give my heart to someone else when I never got mine back. My heart belonged to Bella. I held on to the hope that she would one day return.

Dad and I both turned as we heard my mom's gentle voice. "Mom," I said, giving her a hug when she came into the dining room. "Bella." I gave a small smile, not sure if she would accept a hug from me. I opened my arms to her anyway.

"Evening, Edward," she said, returning my smile and shaking her head.

I let me arms fall to my side. At least I offered. I also noted her smile was weak, hardly reaching her dull, brown eyes. I held out a chair for her. If anything, I was raised right. She took my measure before sitting. "Th-thank you," she said, her nervousness showing in her voice.

"Where did the flowers come from?" Mom asked as Dad held out her chair.

"I picked them up for you and Bella." I sat and sheepishly looked over at Bella.

"Why, they are lovely. Thank you, sweetheart."

Bella just looked down at her plate, not saying anything, but not before I noticed she looked tired, very tired, like she hadn't been sleeping at all. Deep, dark circles were heavily visible under her eyes. Was she sick?

"Are you feeling all right, Bella?" I asked. Again, I wanted to pull her into my arms. I knew I hadn't seen her in a long time, but I couldn't recall ever seeing her so worn-out, not even when we pulled all-nighters studying or watching a marathon of Disney movies in high school.

At my question, her head snapped up, her eyes boring into my mine. "I'm fine," she answered.

I was lost in her brown eyes for a long moment before her eyes fell to the table again.

I shared a look with my parents. Mom just shrugged. Dad looked away. He knew something, but what?

Dinner was amazing as it always was, even if Dad had to finish cooking it. He was always modest about what he made, but both my parents were great in the kitchen. I knew their cooking and teachings played a hand in me opening my first restaurant. I hadn't helped in the restaurant kitchen much since it took off and usually ate there before heading home. It wasn't that I didn't love experimenting in the kitchen. I just hated eating alone. I missed cooking and creating tantalizing dishes. Most of the recipes the chef used were mine.

Though Bella joined in the conversation, thanks in large part to my mother who kept it to neutral conversations, she was distant and seemed closed off. I tried to meet her eyes several times, but every time I did, she turned away or looked down at her plate, biting her lip like … like … she was hiding something.

It hit me like a ton of bricks then. She _was_ hiding something. She had always pushed me away and closed herself off whenever Lauren had done or said something horrid about our relationship, making her doubt our friendship. I didn't let her push me away for long, being relentless until she told me what happened. But this was different than what it had been like in the past; she was hurting. If I was still reading her right, it was something big. I gave Mom a questioning look, but she shrugged again, shaking her head. She wouldn't tell me what Bella confided.

"Bella," I said, drawing her attention away from her plate. She was worrying her lip again. "Are you sure you're feeling all right?"

"I have a lot on my mind," she whispered. "Nothing to concern yourself with, Edward."

I sighed, standing to help Dad clear the table and load the dishwasher as Mom and Bella moved into the living room. I was lost in my own thoughts.

"So, Edward," Mom started once Dad and I rejoined the girls in the living room. "How's work?"

"Great, though today was stressful. I almost called and told you I wouldn't be coming. Now, I'm glad I didn't." I motioned with my head toward Bella as the conversation continued. I wanted to ask my parents' opinion about a new restaurant I wanted to open, but I kept to neutral topics, hoping Bella would join in, and maybe, just maybe the conversation would shift and I'd get some clue to where life's taken her. I knew from my monthly talks with Charlie, she was doing okay. I had to wonder, _Was he was lying to me?_ I looked over at Bella. Her eyes were fixed on the fireplace mantel. I followed her gaze to the picture of the two of us from my twelfth birthday. I broke out in a loud guffaw. "Dad, do you remember my twelfth birthday party?"

Bella's head whipped around. I grinned a big cheesy smile.

"No, I don't remember anything special that day."

I winked at Bella. "I remember. Do you, Bella?" I asked in a challenge.

"Wasn't that the birthday you wanted a sports theme?" Mom asked.

I kept my eyes on Bella. "Yes, it was," I answered, getting up and picking up the frame she had been peering at moments before. I handed it to Dad.

He glanced at it and started laughing a deep belly laugh. "Now I remember. Bella had insisted on playing football with you and the guys."

My eyes had landed on Bella again, and I said to myself, _Cue the blush in five … four … three_—

"Didn't you tickle-tackle her?" Mom asked.

—_two ... blush._ I chuckled as a brilliant crimson stain appeared on Bella's cheeks. "Yep," I said with a nod. That wasn't all to the story. There was more. "I learned a lesson that day."

Bella's tinkling giggle resounded with a sad undertone. Mom and Dad's heads swiveled toward her. "Cup," she said, her blush deepening.

The rest of us cracked up. Bella had landed right on top of me when we had gone down, her elbow hitting pay dirt. The pain had been unbearable, and from then on, I wore a cup whenever I played—_any_ sport.

We continued the memory lane for three or four hours before Bella started yawning. She said nothing about wanting to go to wherever she was staying. Mom, Dad, and I changed topics when Bella's eyes closed and stayed that way. I told them about the concept for a new restaurant I wanted to open. "The problem is that I don't know how to make it my own."

"You'll come up with something."

"My best recipes are being used at Chez Shea. If only I could get into the kitchen and start throwing ingredients together, I'd probably come up with something new that would work."

Mom pointed at the kitchen. "Go for it."

I shook my head. "Not tonight." My gaze strayed over to where Bella sat, or rather, curled up now—for what seemed the hundredth time.

"Let her rest," Mom said quietly.

I leaned in closer and asked in a low voice, "Why were you two crying upstairs?"

"It's complicated and not for me to tell," she replied with a sad look on her face, confirming what I thought.

We talked for another hour before I decided to call it a night, around midnight.

I was just heading to the stairs when Dad called out softly, "Edward, would you mind carrying Bella up to the guestroom while I call Charlie? She's out cold, and I don't want to wake her."

"No problem." I turned back and gathered Bella into my arms, careful not to wake her, before heading back to the stairs. I closed my eyes as the sensation of having her in my arms once again washed over me. I didn't want to put her in the guestroom. I wanted to take her to my room and hold her while she slept.

I overheard Dad on the phone. "She looked so exhausted on the drive over, Charlie … No. I'm not surprised she fell asleep ... You were right—there is something bothering her … No, she and Esme talked for a long time. When I sent Edward up to get them for dinner, he found them crying … Esme wouldn't tell either of us what Bella told her … Of course. I'll drop her off at the station in the morning ... Okay … Bye."

Okay, something was going on. My parents did know something, and I wanted answers. God damn it! Dad knew I still cared about her. My worry for her hadn't stopped when she ran from me after graduation. I had left countless messages with her dad, on her phone—in any way that I could—after she broke up with me.

I laid Bella down on the bed, to which Mom had pulled the covers down, and removed her boots. With a reflex that came like second nature to me, I kissed her cheek and pulled the covers over her. Before I left the room, I heard Bella's soft voice. _I miss you, Carlie._ I turned and found her still fast asleep with a tear streaming down her cheek. I didn't have a chance to return to her side and brush the tear away; she had rolled over onto her side.

I walked back toward the stairs to ask Mom if she knew who Carlie was and noticed her sitting at her dressing table. "Mom, can I ask you something?" I asked, leaning against the door frame.

"You know you can."

"Do you know who Carlie is?"

She turned and just looked at me as Dad put his hand on my shoulder. "Carlie?" I heard him ask.

He didn't know either.

"Come in and sit down, Edward."

I looked at my father as we both walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "Edward," she began, taking my hands.

This couldn't be good. I felt like I was in grade school again, and she was about to give me a lecture about what I got caught doing being wrong.

"I know you want answers, but I won't betray Bella's confidence."

Nope, not grade school. High school, right after Bella disappeared. Mom's tone was firm but loving. She had spoken with Bella and wouldn't tell me what they had talked about.

"I will say this. She's exhausted, and I trust your father and Charlie are going to make sure she gets plenty of sleep and doesn't overwork herself."

There was deep sadness in her eyes. That was another thing I'd never seen before. She had always thought of and treated Bella like her own daughter; she had been hurt as much as I had been when Bella disappeared. Whatever Bella had confided in Mom was hurting them both.

I looked over at Dad, and his brow was furrowed, mirroring mine. Like Mom, he too saw Bella as a daughter. He turned slightly to me. "You two were so close, and I know you loved her deeply."

"I still do."

I caught them both smiling at me. "We know that," Mom said.

It surprised me. Was I that transparent?

"The lilies," Dad added.

I shrugged. What could I say?

"I hate to ask this, but is there any way you can stay in Forks for a while?" Mom asked.

I laughed. She very well knew I could; it was _my_ restaurant. "I'll call Angela in the morning and have her rearrange my meetings to conference calls."

We all jumped up when we heard a scream and rushed out of the room. I beat both my parents out the door and into the guestroom.

**A/N: Oh no! Don't you just hate it when a chapter just ends? What caused Bella to scream? What will Edward do?**

**I just love a good cliffhanger.**

**I have a lot of people to thank for helping me get this chapter edited—Twilightmom505, Lyta7, Remylebeauishot, Batgirl8968, and RaindropSoup. They are all beta or moderators at ProjectTeamBeta. Each had great suggestions and questions that helped me develop Edward and further develop Bella.**

**I hope that you enjoyed.**


	3. Carlie who?

Chapter 3 — Carlie who?

**A/N: For those of you cried in the last chapter, be prepared. This chapter might also bring tears. Have a tissue handy.**

**Like the last chapter, I've provided a summary of what happened in chapter two, and a few things that were cut (consider those a little bonus of things to come).**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

EPOV

Another scream sounded as I made my way into the room. I froze just inside the door. Bella was twisted up in the blanket, whimpering as she continued to thrash on the bed. I glanced at my parents, not knowing what to do. Only one flitted to my mind, almost unbidden—hold her. I took a step forward, and Mom put her hand on my shoulder, stopping me from going to Bella. She stepped around me to sit on the edge of the bed. Brushing the hair out of Bella's face, she whispered everything was all right.

I moved to stand next to Dad where he was leaning in the doorway. It hurt to see Bella in turmoil and not know the cause.

Bella let out another scream as she bolted straight up in bed. She looked around confused and blinked when I flipped the light on. She immediately collapsed in Mom's arms, her tear-filled eyes not leaving mine for a long moment. There was something familiar in Bella's eyes; they were saying, "help me."

Dad put his hand on my shoulder and pulled me back when I moved to go to Bella. "Let your mother take care of it." I looked over my shoulder at him then back at Mom and Bella, sighing. I turned on my heel, following Dad out of the room.

I continued on past my room; I wasn't as tired as I thought and went downstairs, sat at the piano and began playing for the first time in years. I started with the lullaby I'd written Bella, praying she could hear the beautiful and relaxing melody and that it would help calm her. I'd been playing a few minutes when Mom flew down the stairs and into the living room, looking right at me, "Where's your father?"

I shrugged as my hands ghosted across the ivories, finishing the lullaby. If he came down, I hadn't heard him.

Dad came out of the kitchen with a glass of red wine. "What's wrong?" he asked just as a crash came from upstairs. He put down his glass and raced up the stairs behind Mom. I sat there helpless as they took care of whatever was happening upstairs.

I slammed my hands down on the keys. A discordant _spoing_ resounded. What did Mom and Dad know? I had to calm down. I would get answers somehow, even if I had to call Charlie. All I could deduce was that Bella was in pain and needed help. I was just starting to play again when Dad yelled down the stairs. "Edward, call Charlie _now_."

I stood up and ran into the kitchen, having no luck finding my cell in either of my pants' pockets. I must have left it in my car. Picking up the cordless, I dialed.

"Hello," Charlie answered groggily.

"Charlie, its Edward," I said a little panicked, not sure what I could tell him. I decided to keep it simple. "It's Bella."

"I'll be right there," he said, suddenly sounding wide awake.

ChPOV

When Carlisle called and told me Bella had fallen asleep, I told him not to wake her. I had told him my suspicions as we walked toward the deceased victim. He did confirm what I already knew—something was bothering Bella, and it was bad enough to keep her from sleeping. I wished Carlisle had been able to find out what, but Bella wouldn't talk to him. Luckily, she'd confided in Esme. I knew Esme would do everything in her power to help my little girl, if there was anything that could be done. I wondered what Bella confided as I feared that there might be nothing Esme could do. The only person that could possibly help was Edward.

I went straight to bed and wasn't asleep long when the phone rang. Edward sounded worried, but I couldn't fathom why until he said it was Bella. Edward being concerned made sense. I had a feeling that he still loved Bella. I again wondered what Bella had told Esme. I had to find out what Bella confided, and I told Edward I'd be right there.

I quickly dressed, throwing on sweats and a t-shirt, which was as much as I wore on a late night emergency call. Rushing down the stairs, I dialed Vance. He needed to know, even if I didn't have all the particulars. I knew Bella wouldn't make the call, she was stubborn and wouldn't admit to a weakness, but she needed a team. I was going over her head and didn't give a flying fuck about how she would react when she found out it was me who made the decision for her.

"Charlie, dang blab it, do you know what time it is?"

"I do, Vance, and I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on, but I just got a call from a good family friend about Bella. I think what we feared is happening. She's breaking down. I want her off this case. She needs to take a break and get help." I hadn't planned on saying that, but it was true nonetheless.

"Holy smokes, Charlie," he said. "I didn't think sending her would … forget it. I already sent a full team. They arrived an hour after Bella called me from the crime scene. I still want Bella on this case."

"She won't like it, but she needs it. Who did you send?"

"Alice Brandon, Jasper and Rosalie Hale, and Emmett McCarthy," he rattled off. "They've worked well with Bella in the past, but you know how stubborn Bella is. They've spent the day reviewing the duplicates I had made and the faxed coroner's reports. You understand I had to let her think she was getting her way about working alone on the cases."

"Yes. I'm glad you sent a team Bella's worked with before. I'll have her call you tomorrow morning. Bye."

"Charlie," Vance said before I could hang up. "Call me when you know anything. I know you'll disregard the time. And there's no need to have her call me. I've sent new orders for her, in case you called me like you have. I ordered that she is on vacation for a few days. I'll call Alice and have her give them to Bella."

"I'll call you in a few hours then." I hung up right before the turn to the Cullens' long driveway. I saw Edward waiting for me on the porch. He was pacing and running both his hands through his hair before tugging at it. My heart went out for him.

I was out of the car moments later, leaving my keys in the ignition. "What do you know?" I asked in super-dad mode, a cross between a concerned father and a cop who wanted answers.

"Not much." He quickly told me what he knew and his observations. "Charlie, can you tell me who Carlie is?"

My face fell. How had he learned the name? It didn't matter. "She was Bella's daughter. She died over a year ago. As you recall, I nearly lost Bella."

He nodded, his brow furrowed in confusion as he tried to recall that conversation. "Is she—" He faltered and resumed his pacing. "Is she married?"

"No," I answered. I exhaled, my eyes following his pacing before going on. "I shouldn't tell you this, and I wouldn't if I didn't think you could help Bella." When he stopped walking back and forth and looked at me, I went on. "She was raped over four years ago."

Edward sat heavily on one of the wicker chairs with his head falling to his hands. His shoulders shaking as he gripped his hair. I moved closer to him and heard him mumbling to himself. It was so low that I couldn't make out what he was saying.

"I walked in as the attack was happening. I pulled him off of her, pinning him to the wall. Two of the academy's security team were with me. I would've killed the bastard had they not been there."

Edward looked up at me and seemed at a loss for words, though his shoulder still shuddered.

Carlisle joined us on the porch, and Edward's head turned towards his father. Edward's right hand wiped the moisture from his eyes before both hands were in his hair again.

"How is she?" I queried.

"I had to sedate her."

"Can't say that I blame you. She needs the sleep. Did she hurt herself?" I asked when he sat down, mirroring Edward's position.

Carlisle raised his head up to gaze at me, pain evident in his tired eyes. "Yes. A slight cut on her forehead when she fell out of bed. She hit her head against the nightstand. It wasn't deep enough to warrant stitches."

"How long has it been since she has gotten any sleep?" Edward asked, sitting up in the chair.

I had to think about it for a minute. "Honestly, I don't know. We haven't spoken much since Carlie died. When we do speak, she's distant."

"That's the second time tonight I've heard the name. Who is she?" Carlisle asked, looking over at me.

"Bella's daughter," Edward answered.

I nodded my head. "The last time I talked to her she sounded happy, like she was starting to move on. During that conversation, she told me she was getting help. I believe it was just an act."

"Your right, Charlie," Esme said from the front door. "She hasn't gotten any help, I can tell. She admitted to me, she's bottling things up. That she tries to put on a brave face, but inside she is hurting."

"Here, Mom," Edward said, getting up and letting Esme sit down. He sat on the front steps and turned so he could still be a part of the conversation. "You said I could probably help."

"I'm friends with her boss, and he's sent her new orders. She's to take a few days off. She's still just as stubborn and …" I said, and Edward bobbed his head sighing. "She'll argue that she doesn't need time off."

"Even if she's ordered?" Esme asked.

"Yes. If I wasn't in the room when he ordered her to take two weeks off after Carlie died, she wouldn't have listened and still would've worked." I looked at Edward; he wouldn't say anything. He was the only one I told, outside her immediate circle of friends, about nearly losing her, though not how.

"I don't see how I can help."

"She needs to know that I'm not the only one who cares about her and is there for her. Someone to help her learn how to smile and laugh again. Someone who won't leave her alone, who will make her leave the confines of a bedroom, and who will get her to stop working at the end of a healthy and normal work day."

He shook his head, getting up, "I don't think I can help, but I'll think about it."

"Edward," Carlisle said as Edward walked in the front door.

"He still loves her, doesn't he?" I asked, looking at Esme. I did have the feeling earlier that he did, but I wasn't so sure after his last statement.

"Yes," she answered. "Give him some time to think over what you're asking."

"You should know Bella still loves him. She told me a few years ago she's afraid she lost him for good when she left him and he didn't come after her. She thought he would." I shook my head. "We shouldn't have stopped him back then."

"Don't place the blame on yourself, Charlie," Esme said. "I've thought about that a lot over the years, but we couldn't have known she wanted him to fight for her."

EPOV

I walked in the front door, needing to get away. I ignored Dad, but pausing when I heard what Charlie asked. I stood there listening to the conversation.

"Let's hope he fights for her now," I heard Dad say, and it seemed he knew I was listening.

I turned walking up the stairs, pausing outside the guestroom with my hand on the knob before going in. Bella looked so peaceful. Could I really help her? Would she accept my help? Did she really still love me? It was little comfort to my aching heart. Bella was laying there with demons haunting her. Sure she was asleep, but what about the next night and the night after that?

I sat in the rocking chair thinking as I watched her sleep. I wanted to reach out and take her hand but doing so would lead to me crawling into bed to hold her. I sighed, leaning back. I don't know when I fell asleep, but when I woke the sun was shining through a slit in the closed drapes. At some point, a blanket had been tucked around me. I glanced toward the bed, and Bella was sound asleep still.

I stretched and quietly left the room. I headed downstairs where something smelled good. I walked into the kitchen to find Mom cooking breakfast. I gave her a kiss on the cheek while grabbing a piece of bacon, only to be rewarded with a smack on the hand.

"Mom, remind me not sleep in the rocker again," I said, pouring myself a glass of orange juice.

"I tried to wake you, but you were out cold. What made you fall asleep there?"

"Just thinking about what Charlie asked me while watching Bella sleep."

"She has been through a lot," she said, placing a plate in front of me. "Have you come to a decision?"

"Not yet," I said picking up my fork, but not eating. I was still thinking when a memory hit me.

"_I'll always be there for you, Bella," I said, leaving yet another message on her voicemail. "No matter what or how much time has passed, I'll always be there for you. Call me at any time of day or night."_

I hadn't changed cell numbers and yet she never called. I slammed my fist on the counter, causing Mom to jump. "Sorry. I just don't understand why she never called." I shook my hand it was throbbing from the force I extorted.

"I can't answer that, Edward."

"I have to call Angela," I said, leaving my breakfast untouched. I paused in walking out of the kitchen. "I'm going to try to help Bella, if she'll let me."

BPOV

I was groggy and confused as to where I was. I moved my head taking in the room's details. This wasn't my room at Charlie's or the quarters I was assigned on base. I slowly got up on my elbows, looking for my cell phone, or a clock, and found neither. I sat up slowly, my head throbbing. "Ugh," I said, running a hand over my face. "Where am I?"

I slipped from the bed and went to the closed bedroom door, opening it slowly. "Angela, I need you to reschedule all my supplier meetings I have on Monday… Two weeks from Monday. Confirm the menu for the dinner party coming in Wednesday night. I hate to do this to you, but I'm taking the next week off and will be working from Forks the following week."

_Edward?_ Where in the world was I? The last thing I remember was curling up on an oversized chair in the living room, walking down memory lane with Esme, Carlisle, and Edward. I gasped. I must've fallen asleep. I raised a hand to my forehead and felt a bandage. I couldn't explain its presence.

"No, I'm just needed here." I watched as his hand moved to the back of his neck, rubbing it. "A friend needs some help, Ang. I'll let you know if I'll be staying longer … Thanks for understanding. I'll make it up to you … Bye."

He turned and saw me standing in the doorway. I was frozen in place. What did he know?

"How did you sleep?" he asked.

"Okay," I answered, moving out of the doorway. "How long was I out?" He had to know that I haven't been sleeping.

"About nine hours," he said, looking at his phone. "Dad had to sedate you."

I sighed, that explained the headache. "How much do you know?" I asked, walking down the stairs with him following.

"Your dad told me about Carlie."

I stopped on the last step, a chill going up my spine at the mere mention of my daughter's name. I had to be strong, I couldn't lose control again like I did when I saw Esme, but I couldn't stop the sob that escape. _I hurt so much_. His strong arms came around me as I started to fall, easing me to sit on the step above the one I stood on. I had no idea how he did it, but he moved around me, keeping a hand on me. He knelt in front of me as the tears started falling again. He pulled me to his chest. I clung to him, wetting his shirt.

"Edward?" I heard Esme ask.

"Not now, Mom." I felt him say more than heard. He gathered me up into his arms, jostling me as he walked, and a moment later sat down, holding me close. I cried harder at his kindness; a kindness I didn't deserve after how I had left him.

When I next opened my eyes, I was back in bed. An arm was draped over me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Edward looking back at me. "Better?"

I didn't trust my voice, so I nodded. I did feel a little better.

"Come on," he said, getting up. He helped me up, taking my hand as he took me across the hall, into his room and straight into his bathroom. "A shower will help some more." He turned on the water, putting his hand under the spray while adjusting the temperature.

"I don't have anything to put on."

"No problem. I've got something you can wear." After he closed the door, I undressed and checked the water temperature. It was perfect. I hated to admit it, Edward was right. The warm water soothed my aching muscles and washed the salt from my face.

Two warm towels were waiting for me when I stepped out. I dried off, wrapping that towel around my hair, and the other around my body. Walking in the bedroom, I saw Esme sitting on the bed waiting for me. "This just arrived for you."

She handed me an official looking letter that had the Star Command seal. I quickly opened it as she left. It was from Vance. _New orders?_

_Bella,_

_For the next _five_ days, you are on _vacation_. There will be no argument. You need a break._

_I don't want to hear anything from your team about you working on the Forks case. Yes, you read it right. _Your team_. I've sent your underlings: Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett. They will continue working on the case, in your absence, and have reviewed all but the latest two reports._

_I want you to rest and take time for yourself._

_After the five days, you can resume working the Forks case, if it has not been solved. You are still the lead liaison, but for now Alice is handling things._

_Don't even think about trying to find a way around these orders. Alice has further orders to have you escorted out of the station or away from any and all crime scenes._

_Call me if you need anything or want to talk. I'm sincerely worried about you._

_Vance_

I crumpled the letter and threw it at the door. I wasn't happy about being ordered to take time off when there were young women and men getting kidnapped and subsequently murdered, but after my breakdown the night before, I wasn't going to fight the orders.

I looked at what Edward had left for me to wear, and it wasn't what I expected. A familiar pair a jeans and blue top lay on his bed. I dressed—the jeans were a little snug, but still fit—before going back into the bathroom and looking in the mirror. I turned away, not able to look at myself. I looked awful—bags under my dull, tired eyes, my hair had lost its glossy sheen, and it looked like I had gained weight—even if I had slept through the night. I picked up the outfit I had let fall to the floor. I walked back into Edward's bedroom and looked around. It hadn't changed much over the years. The same soft golds and blacks filled the room. There were a few more CDs and books. The pictures had been replaced, but all in all it hadn't changed.

I placed my clothes down and sat on the edge of his bed. I hung my head thinking for the umpteenth time since Carlie had died _how had I gotten so messed up_. I moved further onto the bed, lying down. The tangy, spicy scent of Edward clung to the blanket and pillows. I curled up, wrapping my arms around my legs, trying to hold myself together. I closed my eyes to keep the tears at bay; I was so tired of crying.

**A/N: Thanks to torisurfergirl and Lyta7 for editing this chapter.**

**For those of you who may be wondering, this story has fifty chapters. They are **_**all**_** written and slowly being edited. So, please be patient. It is my hope to post a new chapter every two to three weeks. The editing process does take time, and I will **_**not **_**post a chapter that is not ready. I have in the past, but was before I found Project Team Beta. Since have two or more betas/mods look at my chapters, my writing has greatly improved.**


	4. It's Time to Move On

Chapter 4 — It's Time to Move On

**A/N: Hello! I've had one busy week and just found the time to sit down and finalize this chapter. I hope you enjoy. Oh, you might want to have a tissue handy.**

EPOV

I heard when the shower went off ten minutes ago, and if Mom hadn't told me to go downstairs, I would've still been pacing outside my bedroom door. But her hard eyes and pointing finger had me flying down the stairs. It was a wonder I didn't trip. Once in the living room, I couldn't help myself. I went over to the fireplace mantel and picked up one of my favorite pictures of Bella and me. Mom had captured the moment I had first kissed Bella, really kissed her. I was in my football uniform. Bella was in her cheerleading uniform.

_What had happened between us that made her leave me?_ I thought as I put the picture back. I braced my hands against the mantel, inspecting the unlit fireplace as I tried to gain control of my emotions. Like last evening, tears fell as another memory hit me.

_I'd just thrown the game winning touchdown, watching as Mike caught and drew the ball tight against him right before I was hit by a linebacker. I went down to the ground, hitting hard, the wind whooshing out. I was fine, a little winded, but fine. With a helping hand from the guy who had put me on the ground I was back on my feet._

"_Good throw," he grumbled. "Lucky bastard."_

_I shook my head, not believing I gotten the throw off before he took me down. Luck had little to do with it—it was pure skill. I saw him coming and just let the ball fly. The student body was roaring with excitement over the win. The extra point was all that was left, not that it mattered; a field goal was all we needed. I liked that we got the TD better._

_Grinning like a fool, I ran off the field and straight past the coach, throwing him my helmet without a second glance. There was one person I wanted to celebrate the win with—Bella. A minute later I had gathered a squealing Bella up in my arms, heedless of how sweaty I was, and kissed her. I showed her in that kiss how much she meant to me, how much I loved her._

_When I pulled away I heard Lauren, screaming. I tightened an arm around Bella, keeping her close when she would've pulled away. Raising the other, I silenced the student body. This wasn't how I planned on asking, but I went with it, hoping Bella wouldn't be mad at me._

"_Isabella, I love you," I said with a hoarse voice, my eyes not moving from hers. "Would you please be my girlfriend and go to the dance with me?"_

_I didn't hear Lauren's second scream, and I was told later that she had. No one, but Bella, mattered in that precise moment._

"_Yes," Bella whispered. "I love you, Edward." _

"God damn it!" I whispered to the empty fireplace, my fist came down on the mantel soundlessly. I loved her so much back then—correction, I still did—so much that it pained me to see her tormenting herself. Just hearing some of what happened to her from Charlie made me sick and had me crying.

My resolve to help her had strengthened as I held her against me earlier, letting her get her anguish out. When she'd exhausted herself, crying herself back to sleep, I carried her upstairs. Pushing away from the mantel, I continued to the kitchen to fix Bella something to eat. She needed to eat or she was going to get sick.

"Your mother told me you decided to try to help," Dad said the moment I entered the kitchen.

"Yes. I remembered this morning a promise I made to Bella—well, more the last message I left her. I'm not going to turn my back on her."

Dad wisely said nothing more. He knew how I felt having heard me say on more than one occasion that I had done exactly that—turned my back on her when it was quite the opposite.

I went about making a couple of sandwiches, packing them full of meat, tomatoes, lettuce, and slathering them with a light dressing. I placed them on a tray with a couple of apples, a bag of chips, and the single lily I snatched from the arrangement I'd bought for Bella and put it into a slender vase. I was just placing a couple of bottles of water on the tray when Mom joined us in the kitchen.

"I thought you were heading out, dear," she said, giving my father a peck on the lips.

I smiled. My parents were so affectionate. I had once pictured Bella and I sharing such moments. I closed my eyes, sighing internally. That hadn't happened.

"Just about to leave," he responded as he picked up his bag and headed toward the garage door.

"I thought Bella would be down here," she said, looking over at me. "Your room was quiet, but then I don't know what the letter said."

"What letter?" I was rooted where I stood, torn between wanting to rush upstairs and hearing what Mom thought the letter said.

"I think the letter contained the new orders Charlie was talking about. The young woman that delivered it seemed afraid to give it to Bella herself." Mom was wringing her hands in worry.

I sighed, picking up the tray. I was glad I didn't go rushing up the stairs. "I was just heading up with lunch, so I'll check on her."

I stopped outside the door to my room. Balancing the tray on one hand, I knocked before going in. I found Bella laying on my bed curled up in the fetal position, clutching a pillow. Her sniffling told me she was weeping again, or trying not to. I also noticed the crumbled piece of paper on the floor as I placed the tray down on my desk. My curiosity got the better of me—I needed to know what Bella had been ordered to obey. I went back over where the crumbled paper lay, picking it up and read it as I walked around the bed. _Five days off_.

I ran a hand through my hair, my eyes falling on Bella when I turned. She was so fragile looking, like a porcelain doll I was afraid to touch in fear that it would shatter. It broke my heart to see her so broken. I lay down behind her, like I had earlier, drawing her back against me the best I could, rubbing her arm.

She slowly uncurled, relaxing further against me. A sad smile formed on my face as I wrapped my arm around her. _How can I help you?_ I silently asked as yet another buried memory pushed to the front of my mind. It was a Friday after our last classes of the day, the same day as the game when I asked Bella to be my girlfriend. I'd been at a loss on how to help her then, too.

_I turned from closing my locker, pulling my bag higher on my shoulder and finding Bella standing behind me. Her arms were around her middle. I dropped the my bag, immediately concerned._

"_What's wrong?" I asked, drawing her to my chest and checking the hallway in either direction for a reason. Bella would normally be making her way to cheer practice._

_One word slipped from her lips. "Lauren."_

_Oh no! What had Lauren said now? I glanced around again, sighing. The school hallway wasn't the best place to talk. "Come on," I said, bending over and retrieving my bag. Slipping my arm around her waist, I held her to my side and led her out of the building toward my car. I pulled out my phone once Bella was sitting inside, and paused at the rear of the car when Mom answered. She was the only person I could think of who could get Coach to excuse me from practice, especially on game day. He'd not be happy that his star quarterback was missing in action, but I'd explain before the game._

"_Edward, shouldn't you be at practice?" she asked when she answered._

"_Yes, but Bella needs me. Lauren's said or did something to her."_

"_Bring her to me. I'm at Moody's Nursery. I'll call Coach Clapp and let him know you'll be late."_

_I sighed. "Mom, I honestly don't think that's the best thing to do this time. I don't think she'll talk to you, but she might tell me."_

"_What do you need me to do?" she asked, sighing. She knew how bad Lauren could be and how Bella readily believed every demeaning word Lauren said. She also knew that if I was willing to miss practice, it was something big or Bella would've come to her._

"_Call Coach for me, explain as best you can that I'm needed at home, and that I'll be at the game tonight. I'll explain to him the reason later."_

"_You better hope he'll let you play."_

_It didn't matter to me if I played or not, but I had a feeling he would. "He will, once he learns the reason. He's always telling us that there are more important things in life than football. And Bella is _more important_ at the moment."_

"_I'll do my best, and I'll call Charlie, too. Does the cheer coach know Bella won't be at practice?"_

"_I don't know," I answered, rubbing the back of my neck. "I didn't think to ask Bella. Could you call her too?"_

"_I'm on it."_

_After thanking Mom, I hung up and got in. I had no clue as to what to do and just drove out of the parking lot. I barely saw the puzzled and concerned look Mike gave me when I drove off._

"Are you hungry?" I asked her, shaking myself from the memory. If anything, it told me I had to get Bella to talk to me.

"A little," she responded, her voice void of any emotion. She pulled away from me, and I let her as she sat up.

I got up and retrieved the tray from the desk, setting it between us as I sat back on the bed. I gave her an encouraging smile when she took half a sandwich and took a bite. The silence was unbearable, and I was about to break it by offering to help her when she spoke.

"You added some music to your collection."

I chuckled. She had noticed. "I have—more than what's evident here."

"Do you still write your own?"

"Not in years. I just haven't had the time or the reason." I gave her a meaningful look. She had been my inspiration.

Bella looked away and quietly asked, "You haven't stopped playing, too, have you?"

_I didn't have the heart to play anymore_, I thought to myself, but out loud I said, "I did, though I played for a bit last night."

Bella glanced back over at me. Her eyes were downcast by my admission.

BPOV

I don't know what made me asked that, and I was saddened by his answer. I could understand why he wouldn't be able to compose a song—he told me on several occasions that I inspired him—but I couldn't fathom why he'd stopped playing altogether. He was a brilliant and amazing pianist.

"I listen to the lullaby you wrote for me from time to time. It was a favorite of Carlie's," I admitted, sighing before putting the last bite in my mouth. I was shocked. I had eaten a whole sandwich; I must have been hungrier than I thought. I was also surprised I could speak about Carlie without debilitating pain washing over me. Edward always had that effect on me; I could tell him anything, and though pain was still there, it was never crushing.

He didn't say anything, though his face said it all. His eyes had gone wide and his last bite of sandwich stopped halfway to his dropped mouth. He was stunned.

I paused looking past him, trying to decide, remembering the last message he left me. _No matter what or how much time has passed … Call me at any time of day or night. _

I was finally ready to admit to myself that I needed help—help moving on with my life. The pain of losing Carlie was slowly eating at me; I was afraid my pain would kill me one _day_. I wanted to live, to feel again.

I gave him a moment more. He still looked like he didn't know what to say, so I went on. "Carlie wanted to meet you. So, I planned a trip to Seattle to surprise her."

"Seattle?!"

Was he asking me a question, or was he just surprised?

Edward popped the last bite in his mouth, finally regaining his composure.

I felt my cheeks heat from his penetrating and questioning stare. My eyes didn't waver from his, though I wanted to turn from them. "Charlie told me that is where _you_ live and work. He was planning on coming with Carlie and me—to take her to the zoo so that I could come and talk to you to prepare to meet her." I took a steadying breath before going on; this was the hard part—harder than what I had told Esme. I'd suffer through that a thousand times just to be able to hold Carlie again. "The day we were to leave, she had to be rushed to the hospital." I felt tears slowly run down my face. I knew I wouldn't be able to tell him the whole story, as to the why she had to be rushed to the nearest hospital and, for some strange reason, I wanted him to know. I just couldn't yet. When I told him, I wanted to be in a better state. God! I hated crying. What was wrong with me? I'd been strong and seemed to be healing without help, but the moment I saw Esme, the wall I had erected came crashing down and the tears started again. The truth was that I was no better than the day I woke in the hospital, a day after Carlie was buried and I took a handful of sleeping pills.

Edward reached up and wiped the tears away with his thumb, seeming to understand what I wasn't ready to say. I couldn't fathom how he did. Or why he had held me while I cried earlier. And why he had stayed with me when exhaustion claimed me again. Further still, why did he seem to still care about me after the way I left him?

"She was in the hospital for two weeks. The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. They wouldn't even let me take her home when she was apparently well. They explained to Charlie and me daily that she could be in a stable condition one moment and critical the next, but couldn't tell us the cause without more tests. I had enough of hearing they didn't have any answers and that more tests were needed. I asked them to call your dad, having remembered, finally, that one of his specialties was pediatric medicine. It took Charlie and me three hours to convince the resident to make the call. Charlie ended up threatening to leave with his granddaughter against his advice if he didn't make the call. Charlie had a shuttle on standby, waiting to bring us all here to Forks should the threat not work." I paused for a breath. I was rambling, but now that I started, I might as well finish. "An hour after we were told Carlisle was on his way, her heart stopped. I stood there helplessly watching them do everything they could to bring her back, Jacob holding me the whole time." _I wished it was you_, I added to myself.

I watched as Edward moved the tray to the floor. Then I was in his embrace. I stopped fighting and let out my pent up grief. My voice was low and rough when I next spoke. "I m-miss her so m-much, b-but I c-can't go on living like t-t-this. I need help, Edward. Please help me."

Edward tightened his arms slightly, and one hand came up to cradle the back of my head. "Just tell … me what it … is you need." I could hear tightness and hoarseness in his voice, knowing he was crying with me. He'd only cried with me once before, the day Lauren had humiliated me in front of some of the cheer squad.

"Go with me to visit her grave," I whispered, now calm. "She wanted to meet you."

"I'll call Charlie to see if he still has some pull at the base and to get us a shuttle wherever tonight. It wouldn't look good if you arranged one."

"We can drive." I pulled away from him, wiping my tear-streaked face. "She's buried in Aberdeen."

"Okay. Let's go." He got up, pulling me with him.

Esme looked up from where she sat reading when Edward and I entered the front room. She raised a brow but said nothing as she continued watching us as Edward got a jacket for me from the closet.

"We'll be back in a few hours," he said, helping me into his letterman jacket.

The familiar, heavy weight of the jacket settled around my shoulders. I couldn't help relishing the feeling of having it on again. I could still hear Edward telling me he didn't want me to freeze the first time he help me put it on, and told me to hold onto it when I tried to give it back when he drop me off at the base after a date.

"Where are you going?" she asked, looking at both of us.

I looked away. I couldn't retell the story again. Edward put a hand on my shoulder, handing me his keys, "I'll be right out."

_How in the world does he do that? How does he sense my distress and know exactly what to do?_ I thought taking his keys and walking out the door.

EPOV

I waited until Bella was outside before turning to speak. "I know you're concerned about her as much as I am." I sighed. I was probably more concerned than Mom. "She asked me for help."

"I knew she would. But where are you two going?" Mom's eyes strayed to the still open door.

"Aberdeen. She asked me to go with her to visit Carlie's grave." I started to turn toward the door, but turned back. "Do you think this is a good idea?"

"Absolutely. Charlie told your father and me, after you eavesdropped as the conversation continued when you were inside, but before you went upstairs. Oh, don't give me that innocent 'who me' look—we knew you were still listening. Anyway, Charlie told us that he has tried to get her to visit. It's good to know she wants to go."

I grinned. It was good to know that Charlie had tried to help her. "Oh, I forgot to bring down the tray."

"I'll get it. Bella's waiting."

I walked out of the house and straight to my car. Bella was patiently waiting inside when I climbed in.

"Can we stop by the station before heading out of town? I want to let Charlie know."

"Sure. I'll go in and get him," I said, looking over at her as I turned toward town. She shifted nervously in the seat, her hands intertwining with each other repeatedly as she fidgeted with them. Her nervousness grew gradually as we neared town, and I didn't want to add to her discomfort so I said nothing. Luckily, we pulled into the station five minutes later. Bella was still wringing her hands when I got out.

Stepping into the station, I sighed and ran my hand through my hair as I looked around for Charlie. I didn't see him. Was he busy with another case kidnapping or murder?

"Hello, can I help you?" a spiky, black-hair pixie asked me, coming out of the conference room.

"I'm looking for Chief Swan."

"He's on a call right now—something about a cat stuck in a tree—but he should be back anytime now."

I chuckled, my bleak mood lifting some. That was code for Billy Black needed help. Why Billy didn't call his nearest neighbor, the La Push police, or his son, Jacob, was beyond me.

"I'm Alice. Can I take a message for him?"

"No, I'll wait. It's about his daughter."

"Bella?"

I nodded, taking a seat.

"How is she?" she asked, sitting next to me. "Charlie told me and the others she wasn't feeling well."

"How do you know her?" I was leery of sharing any information with someone I didn't know.

"She's my boss and one of my best friends."

"Edward," Charlie said, concern and fear coloring his voice. He came around the counter. "Has something happened?"

He must've parked in the back or he'd have seen Bella leaning against my car.

"No. Bella wanted to talk to you. She's following orders and stayed outside."

"She could've come in," Alice said. She sounded like she was pouting. "I wouldn't have kicked her out if I knew she wanted to talk to her dad."

I looked over at the pixie. I was right; she pouting. Her bottom lip was sticking out and her arms were folded over her chest.

"I knew I shouldn't have chickened out."

"Now, Alice, Esme would have never let you upstairs," Charlie said.

"She didn't even give me a chance to tell her who I was," she whined as I followed Charlie out of the station with her trailing.

Bella pushed off the car and ran into her father's arms. She hit him with enough force that he stumbled back a few steps. It stunned him; hell, it was a surprised to me, too. Bella hadn't been one to hug her father often.

Charlie looked over her head at me. I shook my head answering the silent question of _what's going on_ that was in his eyes. She must've shied away from his comfort.

"I've asked Edward to go with me to visit Carlie," she quietly told him. I started to walk away to give them a few minutes. "Edward, don't go. I just wanted to let you know."

"You don't have to let me know, kiddo. I'm just glad you're finally going. Don't worry about things here. They're covered. You take care of yourself."

I could see Alice hanging back, under the overhang of the station. She looked uncertain for a moment before coming over. Bella met her half way, giving her a hug. "Glad to know you're in charge, for now."

"We're all worried about you."

Bella sighed. "I know, and I getting some help from an old friend."

"I don't know if I should believe you."

"I know that in the past I said I was and hadn't been." Bella looked over at me and the pixie followed her gaze.

"Oh. Oooh, I see. Well then …" I watched as Alice pulled Bella down to her height and whispered something in her ear while slipping her an envelope.

Bella was biting her lip when Alice released her, but nodded her head at whatever had been said. I was curious. Bella only bit her lip when she was nervous or contemplating something that was troubling her. I was going with the former.

"We've got to go, Alice," she said. "I'll see you in five days and not a moment before."

I opened the car door for Bella when she reached me.

"Can I know what Alice said that had you biting your lip?" I asked when we were on the interstate. I saw out of the corner of my eye her shake her head and noted her hands were folded on her lap. Whatever had her wringing them must not be bothering her anymore.

"Come on."

Again she shook her head. "I'll answer any other question but that one."

"Now you have me even more curious, and I'll get you to tell me before we get back tonight."

"You can try, but my lips are sealed." She ran her fingers across her lips in a zipping motion.

"We'll see about that." I laughed, putting my hand on her leg for a moment. "I do love a challenge."

"I seem to remember that," she said, reaching for the radio turning it on.

We drove in silence as we listened to one local radio station after another, only changing the station when a song came on that one or both of us didn't like. I was just reaching up to change the channel when Bella touched my wrist. The song starting to play was one I was sure would bring tears to her eyes; I've seen her crying enough for one day, and, yet, I knew there were more to come before the day was done.

"Leave it on," she whispered.

I swallowed as Lee Ann Womack's voice filled the car.

_I hope you never lose your sense of wonder_

_You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger_

_May you never take one single breath for granted_

I flipped my hand over, capturing hers. Our fingers wove together and fell to rest on my thigh. I smiled, though I kept an eye on her throughout the rest of the song. To my surprise, no tears formed. When the song ended, she didn't pull her hand back. I wasn't about to let go, relishing the continued feel on her hand in mine.

A little over two hours later, I released her hand, sitting it on my leg, as we got off the highway. Her hand remained where I placed it as I turned. "I'll need directions from here."

I followed her whispered directions and hand gestures; her left hand never lifted from me.

"Okay, now I know where we are going," I said, turning around in a nearby parking lot.

"Where are we going?"

"To find a flower shop."

"Oh! I hadn't thought about that," she gasped, her left hand flying to her lips. She sounded guilty for not thinking about flowers.

I caught hold of her hand again, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"That's why I'm here." I pulled into Barnes Florist and shut off the engine. "Did she have a favorite flower?"

"Do dandelions count?" she asked with a glimmer of her playful, old-self showing in a teasing smile. It vanished as fast as it appeared.

That concerned me. Didn't she know it was okay to smile and be happy? I just looked at her, my mouth gapping. _Dandelions? _She had to be pulling my leg.

"Just kidding. Sunflowers. She called them suns," she said, with a humorless laugh.

"I'll be right back." I entered the shop and was greeted by a lovely older woman.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes," I answered. "I know this is a long shot, but would you happen to have any sunflowers?"

She grinned at me. "I just happened to have a few. How many would you like?"

"Six, and mix in some blue," I responded, pointing to a flower that I didn't know or recognize.

"Delphinium. That's going to be a beautiful arrangement," she remarked, going into the walk in refrigerator retrieving the flowers.

I hoped she was right. The rich tones of yellow and gold accented with the blue should create an impressionistic spring sky. I'd give Carlie a sky full of suns.

"I was wrong," she commented.

My face fell, as did my head.

"The combination is not beautiful, it's breathtaking."

My head snapped back up seeing the bundled flowers the florist held.

"The lady is very lucky." She looked out the window and straight at the lone car where Bella waited. "That's fifty-five dollars."

I handed her my credit card without blinking, the cost didn't matter. Plus, I didn't have the heart to tell her they were being placed on a grave. I took my card back after signing the slip.

"Have a nice day." I heard the older lady say as I walked out.

I handed the bouquet to Bella after getting in and drove back to the cemetery. She was quiet, but directed me to the right area by pointing.

I held back after helping her out, following at a distance with the bouquet in my hands.

BPOV

I was glad Edward was with me or else I wouldn't have been able to do this. He was who I wished had held me during the funeral instead of Jacob and Charlie. I looked down at Carlie's grave with tears forming in my eyes. I knelt.

"Hello, baby girl," I said, running my fingers over the winged angel craved into the cold, grey stone. "Sorry it took me so long to visit. I miss you so much."

I looked over my shoulder to where Edward was standing a short distance away, just to make sure he was still there. I turned back and continued talking. "I had a big surprise planned for you the day you got sick. I was going to take you to Seattle and introduce you to the person who wrote the lullaby you loved so much. I wish we could've gone, but he came with me to visit you today."

I held out my hand for Edward. He handed me the fragrant flowers and I placed them on the gravestone, covering much of her middle name but her last name completely. In time, I'd tell him her full name, and much, much more.

I took hold of his hand and introduced him when he knelt down beside me. "Carlie, this is Edward."

"Hi, Carlie. Your mom tells me you like sunflowers, but the ones we brought you have some lovely blue flowers, too—the suns in the sky."

I held in my gasp, my eyes moving to the bundled flowers. I hadn't examined them when he handed them to me either time, thinking he gotten just sunflowers. The arrangement looked expensive.

"I wish I could've met you. I bet you looked a lot like your mommy."

My eyes moved from examining the flowers and grave marker to take Edward in. He spoke softly with his head bowed, like Carlie was really there and he was answering one of her many questions as he tucked her into bed. He fell silent, like I had many times when she said her prayers before she closed tired eyes as the day's exhaustion claimed her. I could picture him leaning over and kissing her cheek or forehead before quietly leaving her room, stepping carefully over the array of toys scattered across the floor. It was too much and a tear slipped down my face. He would've made a great dad for her.

Edward stood, drawing me up with him, and wrapped his arm around my waist when I made a stuttering, gasping sound.

"I can't stay here any longer. It's still difficult for me."

"Okay." He kissed my temple before his eyes moved from me to the gravestone. "Bye, Carlie. _We_ love you."

As Edward said those last three words, my legs gave away. He never knew her, and yet, he loved her.

"Bella!" he cried, going down to one knee with me. He just cradled me against him for a moment before standing with me in his arms, carrying me back to the car.

"You'll get through this, Bella," he whispered, placing me in the front seat. "You're strong, and I'll help you get through this. I'm here for you and always will be." He caressed my face with one hand while the other opened the glove box retrieving a packet of tissues.

I gave him a sad, weak smile, "Thanks," I said as he closed the door.

~~ SIB ~~

We were almost back to Forks when I looked over at Edward. I was feeling better than I thought I would be after visiting the cemetery. I guess Charlie was right. I needed to go for a visit. He was also right about letting my anguish out, about letting someone help me; he just wasn't the one who could.

I sensed Edward was watching me closely, but it wasn't intrusive like Alice or Jasper—all in your face and talkative. It was more Edward's protective nature shining through. I knew if I showed any signs that I was starting to lose control again, he'd pull over and let me cry while he held me tight. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to me or let me drown in misery. There had to be a way I could thank him for going with me and for everything he was going to do to help me. I just didn't know how or what. I'd think of something. And then there were the tickets Alice had given me. Would he go with me? I was afraid to ask.

Leaning toward the radio, I broke the silence. "I'm curious to what you have in your CD player." I hit the CD button.

_Leave Out All the Rest_ was soon filling the car with its remorseful opening bars.

"I'm surprised." And I was genuinely surprised, but the more I thought about it, it shouldn't have surprised me. "I didn't think you would listen to Linkin Park."

"You recognize the band?" he asked, amazement coloring his voice that I knew.

"I'm just as big of a music lover as you."

"I wish I had gotten tickets as they're going to be in Seattle tomorrow night. The show was sold out before I talked myself into splurging for tickets. Not that I didn't have the money."

"Paramore is going to be with them."

"I know and they're amazing, too."

"Tell me about it. Would you like to go?"

"It's sold out."

"I heard you, but would you go if you could get tickets?"

"Absolutely. I've been checking online, but I can't bring myself to pay three times the cost of one ticket," he said, looking over at me.

I had a slight and honest smile on my face though I still felt sad. Though, he'd unknowingly given me the best way to thank him.

"I'll make a deal with you. You don't ask me about what Alice said and …" I took a breath as I pulled a few things out of my purse. _Here goes anything_, I thought. Alice had dared me to ask Edward out, not that I needed to be dared. I got straight to the point. "… and I'll take you."

He suddenly pulled over when I showed him not only two tickets, but backstage passes. "What do you say? Will you go with me?"

**A/N: What do you think Edward is going to say? How is he going to react?**


	5. The Catalyst

Chapter 5 — The Catalyst

EPOV

"_And I'll take you."_

_She'll take me?_ What? Really? Was she serious? There was no way she could've gotten tickets. The show had sold out in under an hour. I chanced a look at her, about to ask …

I did a double-take. There, in her hand, were two tickets, and upon closer inspection—no way! Backstage passes!

My eyes popped as my jaw dropped, and I pulled over so fast that I would've caused an accident if we hadn't been in a low-traffic area.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The tickets I'd been coveting since finding out Linkin Park was coming to Seattle. Even more than the surprise of the tickets was that Bella was asking me out. I gaped at the tickets, opening and closing my mouth several times before I found my voice.

My voice caught in my throat, cracking. "Only if you let me take you out to dinner tonight and before the show," I bartered, mentally preparing counterarguments to any protest she could use when she said no.

She didn't hesitate or protest. She didn't even bite her lip in consideration, which was not like the Bella I remembered. Until we started dating, she always argued when I paid for her lunch or dinner. Still did fight me every so often after we became official, but it wasn't often. I was surprised, pleasantly so, when she just accepted by simply saying, "You got yourself a backstage pass and a front-row ticket."

I wanted to kiss—what did she say? I shook my head, playing back the conversation.

_Front-row?_

I stared wide-eyed at her. "You have got to be kidding me."

Bella smiled timidly at me, chuckling. "Nope." She handed me one of the tickets.

"How in the world did you score tickets—and such great seats?" I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat as I examined the ticket. It was indeed front-row and—if my guess was right—dead center.

"My secret." Her fingers slid across her lips as if she were zipping them for the second time since we'd left Forks. "I do need to change before we go anywhere, though."

"I'll swing by your dad's, then," I replied, handing the ticket back to her before pulling back onto the road. I still couldn't believe she asked me out. That she not only had tickets to see Linkin Park in concert, but backstage passes.

"Make it the base," she instructed just in time for me to make the turn. "I have quarters there."

She was staying on base. _Hell no!_ That wouldn't do, not if I was going to help her. At Charlie's, I could freely come and go, but the base … I shook my head. I wouldn't be able to come if she needed me in the middle of the night.

"You don't have to stay there," I offered. "Stay at the house. You know my parents won't mind, and neither would your father."

"I know," Bella responded in a whisper.

Bella said nothing else as I stopped at the front gate, remembering the drill from high school when I had picked her up or dropped her off. Of course, the guard at the gate wasn't one I recalled. I frowned. Talking my way through the gate wasn't going to be easy.

I turned to look at Bella for help. She had dug out her badge, flashed it, and said, "Chris, this is Edward Cullen, and he's going with me to my assigned quarters. I'll vouch for him."

Chris waved us through, and Bella directed me on where to park.

Bella touched my hand, after I switched the ignition off. I turned to face her. There was a hesitant smile on her face.

"I haven't had time to unpack," she said in a small voice.

I was hopeful, and my voice rose when I spoke. "So, you'll stay with us?"

In a low voice, she answered, "Yes. It's better than being alone and hurting inside. I meant it when I asked for your help, and I …" She paused, biting her lip. "… I need you near."

I smiled at her before I got out. Walking around the front of the car, I opened the door for her.

I followed her as she led the way to the quarters to which she was assigned.

"I just need to call Vance and let him know," Bella said, disappearing through a door down a short hall.

BPOV

Leaving Edward sitting in the front room, I walked back to the lone bedroom and found my phone lying on the bed, blinking. So, that's where my phone had been. I had two messages.

"Bella, it's Vance. I haven't heard from you. That could be good or bad. Are you okay? Call me." He didn't sound overly concerned, a little worried, maybe.

The next message was from Alice. "Bella, have you asked—" I stopped the message. _Oh no!_ I sighed, going over to the door and shutting it before resuming the message. If I knew Alice, which I did, she was checking to see if I had done what she'd dared. I didn't want Edward to think my asking him to go to the concert was because of what Alice had urged me to do. It wasn't at all the reason. I wanted him to go with me, knowing he would appreciate meeting the guys. I finished listening to the message regardless. She might include something else in the message.

"—him yet? He's so hot, and if I weren't hooking up with Jasper, I would ask him out. Call me."

I sighed. Of course Alice would want Edward.

I sighed again—I was tired of all the concern—dialing Vance. I called his cell, knowing he wouldn't be in the office at this hour.

"Bella, how are you?" he asked. There was a relieved tone in his voice.

"A little better than I apparently was last night. I'm still hurting, but better. I was a little pissed at the new orders, but—and I hate to admit this—I needed the swift kick in the ass it provided. You were right to order me to take a vacation. I'm staying in Forks, though."

"Bella, I don't thi—"

"I'm not working, honest. Call Alice if you need to. She can attest that I'm following orders and will tell you the same thing I'm about to tell you." I waited a beat before going on. "I have a friend here. I've asked him for help."

"I'm glad to hear that." He sounded dubious. He had every right to be—I'd lied to him and my team so many times about seeing a shrink and going to support groups that I'd lost count.

"I even asked him to go with me to Aberdeen to visit Carlie's grave."

"That's great. I didn't know Jacob and you were talking again. How was the visit?"

"Jacob and I are _still_ not talking," I said, a little peeved Vance would jump to that conclusion. "It's another friend, Edward. And he wouldn't have abandoned me the way Jacob did." I was mad, but not at Vance. Jacob had turned his back on me when I was at my weakest.

"I shouldn't have assumed. But you didn't say anything about the visit."

"It was hard, and I collapsed at the sweet words Edward said. I should've listened to you and Charlie."

Vance sighed. "Bella, listen. Charlie and I knew you weren't ready. We both could see that, and that's why we didn't push you to go. It's apparent to me you were ready today. I'm glad you didn't go alone."

"I was ready," I said in a soft voice. I paused, collecting my thoughts. There was something I had to tell Vance, but what was it? "Oh, I won't be staying on base or with Charlie, though he'll know where to find me. I'll be staying with Doctor and Mrs. Cullen."

"Thanks for letting me know. I still don't like that you're staying in Forks, but I'm sure Alice will call me if you disobey orders. I'll go ahead and release the quarters that were assigned to you."

Vance sounded relieved again. I didn't know what he would do if he got a call from the base's medical staff if I had another breakdown.

"And …" I started, lowering my voice more. "Thanks for sending me the tickets. Thank your brother, too."

"You're welcome, and I will. I hope you'll find someone to go with you."

"I have—don't worry about that. I have to go. Alice wants me to call her."

"I hope not about the case," he said, worry evident in his voice. He just warned me about going against orders—in his own way—since I was staying in Forks.

"Not at all, sir," I said in both Alice's and my defense. "It's about something else. I'm following orders and taking a break. She's just checking on me."

I hung up with Vance soon after, immediately calling Alice. He didn't sound very convinced at the end of our conversation. I'd have to see if Alice could alleviate his worry.

"Bella, look, can I call you later? We are just heading out the door." She wasn't her normal bubbly self. Her voice sounded like she was rushing to get somewhere.

Was another victim found? Had another been taken?

_Stop it_, I chastised myself. _Remember, you are taking a much needed break. Alice would tell me if she was distracted by Jasper._

"Sure, but not too late," I replied, not asking what I desperately wanted to know. It was hard, but I managed to keep my tone light and free of questioning. "I'm hoping to get to bed early tonight."

"Then I'll call you in the morning."

I stared at my phone, not believing she had hung up on me.

I set my phone down and fished the nicest outfit I had packed out of my suitcase. I quickly pulled on black dress pants and a one shoulder dusty rose-colored peasant top Alice had made me buy on one of our recent let's-get-you-out-of-your-funk shopping trips. She'd insisted I pack it. I'd refused; telling her there would be no opportunity for me to wear it. She must've slipped it into my suitcase without me knowing. I was silently thanking her now.

I had to admit the blouse looked remarkable on me. I applied a little eye makeup, blush, and lip gloss to add a little color to my pale face. I closed my suitcase before reopening the bedroom door, calling for Edward.

"Would you mind helping me?" I asked, slipping into a pair of heels.

"Wow! You l-l-look beautiful," he stuttered when he came in the bedroom. I'd never heard him stutter. Stunned into a brief silence—a few times. But stutter, never.

"Thanks," I said, feeling a blush creep across my cheeks at his compliment. "If you could carry these two, I'll grab the duffle."

"No problem." He picked up all of the bags, leaving me with nothing to carry. "I need to stop by the house to change out of these jeans and put a tie on. I've already talked to Mom, and she was thrilled to learn you would be staying," he told me as we walked back to his car. "I also told her I was taking you out to dinner."

"What! What did she say?" I bit my lip, worrying it.

"I'll let her tell you." He winked when he glanced over at me.

"_Edward!_" I smacked him playfully on his shoulder as he put my bags in his trunk. He just chuckled. It wasn't funny. "You can't say something like that, and then not tell me what she said."

"She said … Nope, not going to tell you."

As he held the door open, I got in, crossed my arms over my chest, and pouted.

"Didn't work in the past and not going to work now," he said, after getting in and starting the car.

I pouted the whole drive, and he was right. He didn't give in. I must've forgotten how stubborn he could be.

We had pulled in right behind Carlisle. I got out even before Edward shut off the car and walked away, hearing as Carlisle asked Edward what had me in such a huff.

"Esme," I called, walking into the house, not caring how Edward explained my behavior.

"In the kitchen," she called back.

I joined her. "What did you say when Edward told you he was taking me to dinner tonight?"

She turned from the stove to face me. "All I said was—" She stopped, suddenly speechless, dropping the wooden spoon she had been using to stir something. First Edward, and now Esme.

"Esme," I said, waving my hand in front of her face to get her attention.

"Sorry. I told him that I thought it was wonderful."

"So, why couldn't he tell me that? Some things never change." I turned to walk out and ran into Carlisle as he was coming in, making me lose my balance in the process. I would've fallen on my butt if he hadn't reached out and caught me.

"Speaking of never changing …" Carlisle said, steadying me. He did a double-take. "You look different."

Carlisle, too. _Gee whiz!_

"I was just about to say the same thing," Esme said. I turned and glared at her. She motioned for me to sit at the island. "You look happier."

"I do?"

"Yes," Carlisle said, sitting next to me.

"It must've been the time you spent with Edward this afternoon." Esme gave me an appraising look.

I thought back over the afternoon. Nothing special had happened on our drive to and from Aberdeen. "All we did was drive and talk. Nothing happened," I defended, leaving out the fact that we'd held hands and my episode at the grave.

"But obviously something did happen." Esme was still studying me carefully. "Edward did stop for flowers?"

"Yes, I did, Mother," Edward said, coming into the kitchen while still trying to knot his tie. "You'll be glad to know I got Carlie's favorite flower and added my special touch to the bouquet."

I closed my eyes, recalling the beautiful arrangement. It was indeed what Edward had called it—a sky full of suns. I took a deep, hitching breath. I didn't want to start crying again. I let it out slowly, reopening my eyes.

"Am I missing something?" Carlisle asked, standing and going over to help Edward. "You should be doing this in the mirror, son."

"I usually do."

"Edward went with me to visit Carlie today," I said, getting up. "It helped, but I still have a long way to go before it doesn't hurt so much."

"I'm glad it helped," Edward said. "Don't wait up, Mom, Dad. I don't know when we'll be home."

Carlisle looked from me to Edward and back again before Edward guided me, with a hand at my back, out the garage door toward his Vanquish. I had only been in this car twice, and both times were for prom.

"I thought we would take this car, seeing as I consider this a special occasion," he said softly in my ear as he opened the door for me. Shivers ran down my spine as his breath whispered across my cheek.

I took my time getting in, looking at him as he closed the door.

"Where are we going?" I asked once we were on the highway, heading north out of town.

"Port Angeles," he told me nervously, glancing over at me. "That's not a problem, is it?"

I shook my head, and he continued.

"There's this little Italian restaurant, _Bella Italia_. I've never been, but I've heard they have great cuisine. As I recall, you love Italian food … or at least you did."

A genuine smile graced my face. He remembered my preference in cuisine. There was a warmth to my voice—that it hadn't held in a very long time—when I answered. "I still do. I've never heard of the restaurant." I was about to say more, but my phone chose that moment to ring. I was going to let it go to voicemail when Edward glanced over at me.

"Go ahead—I don't mind."

I eyed him like he had grown an extra head since I last regarded him. He motioned for me to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Bella, sorry about earlier," Alice said. "Another—"

"If it's about the case, don't tell me. Vance told me in his 'special way' that he didn't like that I've decided to stay in Forks during my break from work. So, I don't want to have to report you for not following orders. Can you help me out with that?"

"Yes and I'm glad to hear you say that. You passed my test. So, did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Ask him out like I dared you to?" she asked in a low voice.

"Not a good time." I glanced over at Edward again with a grimace. Surely he hadn't heard what Alice asked. It was bad enough he could hear what I was saying.

"You're still with him, aren't you?" she asked in a lower voice.

"Alice," I said in warning. _No, I have to answer her questions or I won't get her off the phone,_ I thought to myself before switching to a language I knew Edward didn't know—or at least he hadn't the last time I saw him. I was very glad he could only hear one side of this conversation. I answered, in Danish, that I was still with him and that he was taking me out to dinner.

"Really! Oh, this is great. I have a good feeling about you two. What are you wearing?"

"I can't do this right now. I'll call you tomorrow."

"You better, or I'm going to have your dad bring me to you, and it won't be pretty. I want full details. What you wore, where you went, everything."

"I promise. I'll call you tomorrow."

"From the sound of that one-sided conversation, Alice seems intense," Edward commented when I ended the call.

Okay, that answered my question of whether he'd heard what Alice asked.

"You have no idea," I said, putting my phone back in my purse. "She means well and everything. It's a good thing we work well together. If I hadn't gotten to know her before I became her boss, I probably would've transferred her off my team."

"I can only imagine. What language were you speaking?"

And that answered my second question.

"Danish. I spent a couple of years in Denmark and picked up the language. I knew I'd never get Alice off the phone if I didn't answer her question."

"It wasn't work related, was it?" he asked, glancing over at me with a furrowed brow.

"No," I answered. "Something altogether different, and it is off-limits."

"Got it. I won't ask." He mimicked my lip-zipping from earlier.

I started laughing, and hard, at that. I couldn't remember the last time I really laughed.

Edward didn't look my way again, keeping his eyes trained on the road. I didn't miss the smile turning his lips upward as my laughter died down, though. Soon we turned on to Marine Drive in Port Angeles, passing the boatyard. I must've been on the phone longer than I thought with Alice or hadn't been paying attention as it wasn't much longer before we pulled into a parking space in the downtown area. He helped me out, placing his hand on the small of my back again as we walked to the restaurant.

"Cullen," he replied when the hostess asked if we had reservations.

"This way," she said, grabbing two menus.

Edward held a chair out for me when the hostess indicated the table. "Thank you."

I was handed a menu and listened as she told us the specials, none of which appealed to me. "Your server is Lauren, and she'll be right with you."

"_Edward?_" a familiar, nasally voice said from beside me.

_Lauren Mallory?_ I stiffened as I looked up from my menu and saw Edward's face was screwed up in disbelief. I also noticed that his knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping the table.

I turned and saw it was indeed Lauren Mallory. She was standing there, a black apron tied around her waist. I took it she was the _Lauren_ that was our waitress.

"You're here with _her_," she said, indicating me with her hand and looking mightily hurt. She didn't even remember my name. I was about to say something to her about being rude to customers, when she went on loudly, "I thought we agreed you wouldn't cheat on me again."

My head snapped to Edward. Was he dating her? Or was he married to her? My eyes wandered again to his clenched hands, no ring, but that—

"We're not married or even dating," Edward said through clenched teeth, standing up.

Well, that certainly answered those questions.

"Let's go, Bella."

I was just standing when a well-dressed older gentleman came over. "Signore, is there a problem?" He had a slight Italian accent. If it was for show, it was a very good accent.

"Yes, Miss Mallory here has been harassing me whenever she sees me and is under the impression that I'm her boyfriend. If I had known she worked here, I would have never set foot inside this establishment."

Edward spoke in a harsh but controlled voice. I hadn't heard that voice in a long time and was grateful it had never been directed at me. It meant danger and that he was about to lose it, making the situation far worse than it needed to be; time to see if I could defuse the situation.

I placed my hand on Edward's shoulder, and slowly, his tense muscles relaxed.

"I take it you're the owner," I said, taking in the way he was dressed again. The black suit jacket hugged his shoulders. His pants were visibly pressed, showing the creases. His blue button-down shirt wasn't popping at the seams. The crispness of his pocket square matched the white tie he was wearing. He reminded me of the men I saw in Italy.

"I am. How did you know?"

"A guess, really," I remarked with a shrug. "Is there any way you could arrange for my _boyfriend_ and me to be seated out of Miss Mallory's service area? I really don't want to leave, _but_ we will if there is nothing that can be done." I was a tad possessive with the endearment of what Edward was to me. I even let my eyes stray to Lauren when I said it.

"Most certainly," he said, picking up our menus. "If you would follow me, _mia cara_."

I couldn't help but smile at a glaring Lauren before falling into step behind the owner, a dumbfounded Edward trailing. "This is my goddaughter, Carina's, section, and she'll treat you well. Dessert is on me for your trouble."

"That won't be necessary," I said, sitting when he pulled out a chair for me.

"Ah, but I insist. And just between the three of us, this is Miss Mallory's last night. I've been getting many complaints about her service, or rather, lack of service."

"I hope we didn't cause you to decide to fire her," I said.

"Not at all, _mia cara_. I was just about to take her into my office. Enjoy your dinner."

"Again, thank you." I gave him a gentle smile.

"My godfather is a good man," a young lady said. "What can I get you to drink?"

"A bottle of white wine and water," Edward replied, without a hint of anger evident in his voice.

I'd done my job and calmed him down.

"I'll have the bartender bring the wine right over and be back with water shortly."

"Bella, you were amazing," Edward remarked.

I looked up from the menu and just smiled. "Someone had to make sure you didn't lose your temper."

"But the way you handled the situation. It should've been me asking for another table." He reached across the table, taking my hand into his.

I felt a tingle move up my arm at his touch, and I withdrew it after a moment, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear. I felt like I was in high school again and we were out on our first date. "Think nothing of it."

He let it drop. We talked about nothing important throughout dinner. After paying, we walked out of the restaurant and straight to his car. I was glad to find that it was in perfect condition and not keyed or otherwise scratched by a vengeful Lauren Mallory. Then again, Lauren had never—to my knowledge—seen this car.

He drove toward the harbor, instead of US 101, and parked near Landing Mall. "Up for a stroll?" he asked, fidgeting with his tie as he loosened it some.

I nodded and waited as he walked around the car to open the door.

We walked along the pier, not saying anything but just enjoying each other's company. I gazed over at him and caught him staring at me. He quickly averted his eyes.

I stopped and started laughing hard for a second time. He stopped a few paces in front of me, turning and taking me in as if I was crazy.

"We are acting like we're back in high school and this is our first date," I said once I calmed.

"Aren't we?" he asked. Stepping toward me, he brought his hand up to my face and wiped away a tear that escaped from laughing so hard. His hand rested on my face, and I became lost in his eyes.

I didn't know what to say and had to turn away from his piercing green eyes when he made no further move. I gazed out over the harbor, taking in the beauty of it, with the moon still low in the night sky and reflecting off the water. I couldn't help the questions that entered my mind. Had he wanted to kiss me? Did I want him to?

"I …" I couldn't bring myself to say _don't think so_. I would be lying to myself. I'd had the thought twice. "We're just two friends—one who is trying to move on with her life and the other trying to help."

He sighed as he wrapped his arms around my waist, saying nothing more as he drew me back against him. I continued looking out over the shimmering water of the bay, trying to convince myself that the tingling I felt now and earlier hadn't meant anything. I shivered, but not from being cold. It was from the familiarity of our position. I felt protected, cocooned in his embrace, like there was nothing that could hurt me as long as I stayed within his arms.

"We should be getting back, Edward," I said in a breathless whisper. _Good Lord. Was that me?_ "I'm pretty exhausted."

"Okay," he whispered against my ear, taking my hand. The tingling intensified as we turned to head back to the car.

We were both silent the whole drive back to Forks. When we reach his parents' house, he walked up the stairs behind me and paused a moment before I went into the guestroom. "I'm just across the hall if you need me," he said.

"I know," I said, opening the door to the guestroom. "Good night." I closed the door after he disappeared inside his room. I pressed my back against the door and pulled out my phone as I moved to sit down on the bed. I needed to talk to Alice and knew she'd still be up. If she wasn't or didn't answer, I'd call Rosalie; both would be able to give me advice.

"Bella, I didn't expect to hear from you until the morning. How was dinner?"

"Alice," I said as tears of confusion slid down my face.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything was perfect, but I'm so confused." I went on to explain that Edward and I had dated in high school—about how I loved him and that I had walked away from him. About how he still made me feel after not seeing each other for sixteen years. "All the feelings I felt for him back then, I still feel, and I'm just so confused by them. I think I might still love him."

"I wish I was there with you. We could be eating ice cream right now as we tried to get you unconfused. Wait, is that even a word? Yes, I think it is."

I smiled as I shook my head. _Only Alice_. "That's not all I am confused about. We took a walk along the pier after dinner. I had a feeling he wanted to kiss me, and when he didn't, I don't know," I finished lamely, not knowing where I was going.

"Did you want him to kiss you?"

"Yes." I was surprised by my answer.

Alice sighed. "Okay. Here's what you're going to do. Change into your pajamas, and then go to his room. Don't even knock, just go straight in. And kiss him. Don't wait for him to make the first move. You're still vulnerable. He might be afraid of taking advantage of you or that you won't return his kiss."

"He could never take advantage of me. And I would return a kiss from him."

"But does he know that, Bella?"

She had me there. "I guess … not."

"Bella, honey, you need to make the first move. I don't know him well enough to say he'll take that step, in time. So you have to. Now, go get what you want."

I hung up and then pulled out my silk powder blue pajamas. I changed quickly and left the room before I could talk myself out of it. I opened his door to find him standing in just his pajama bottoms, nothing but a book in his hand. He was surprised to see me. His forehead wrinkled as his eyebrows went in opposite directions.

"Bella?" was all he got out before my lips were on his.

I heard a thump as the book hit the floor, and then slowly his strong arms wrapped around me as he deepened the kiss, like he had wanted this as much as I did. He moaned, sweeping his tongue languidly across my lower lip. I granted him entrance, and the kiss became fevered as our tongues danced together.

I didn't realize he was walking me backwards until the back of my knees hit the bed. We collapsed against it, never breaking the long, amorous kiss. The kiss somehow deepened even more, becoming more impassioned. I moaned beneath him, moving a hand up to his hair.

We were both breathless when I broke away, needing to breathe. I fell asleep in his arms with my head resting on his bare chest and a smile on my face. It was as if the years we'd been apart had never happened.

**A/N: _mia cara_ means "My dear" in Italian and was translated using _Google Translate_. I know there are other translators out there, such as , but I prefer Google, though I do compare translators. I have to admit, the betas who reviewed this chapter pointed out that I had the wrong gender of the phrase. I think I got it from the translation from a list of Italian endearments when I originally looked it up. So, big thanks to both TitaRitter and evelyn-shaye for catching and correcting it.**

**Besides TitaRitter and evelyn-shaye, I'd like to also thank EdwardsMate4ever, thir13enth, Arones, and RaindropSoup for their help in editing this chapter.**


	6. Bring It On Home

Chapter 6 — Bring It On Home

EPOV

I laid awake for hours thinking about Bella and the one arm she had draped around my waist. I was surprised when she had burst into my room so soon after we returned. I had expected her to crawl in bed with me at some point during the night—like she often did whenever she had a nightmare when she spent the night during grade school—or wake everyone screaming again.

Her bursting in was nothing compared to the kiss. I wasn't prepared for her kiss. All thoughts fled my mind the moment her lips touched mine.

Wow! I still couldn't believe it had happened.

It had been some kiss, too. It had started off so sweet and innocent, but quickly turned intoxicating. I found myself wrapping my arms around her, pulling her against me, kissing her back, and begging for entrance in a matter of seconds. She let me in, and I deepened the kiss before moving her backward in a slow walk toward the bed. I could've swept her up into my arms, carrying her to the bed, but I didn't want to seem too forward. I couldn't let her walk out of my room. I needed to hold her, to know she was safe.

When my head cleared from its passion-filled haze, I realized it was a mistake for me to be in bed with her.

I didn't want to take advantage of her.

True, I had wanted to kiss her back on the pier; she must've known or seen my desire. _However,_ as I stared into her eyes, I'd talked myself out of it. She'd been through so much and needed time to heal.

I sighed. I knew I had to talk to her about the kiss. If I could have gone back an hour, I don't think I would've been able to stop myself from kissing Bella back. Still, kissing her was a mistake no matter how much I'd wanted to kiss her again. I started to slip out from under her arm when it tightened. Glancing over at her, I found her staring at me.

"Don't," she said before tears filled her eyes. "I don't want to be alone."

I pressed my lips together, chastising myself for thinking I could leave unnoticed, and that she was asleep. I settled next to her again, drawing her back to my chest. There was no way I could leave her, not when she looked miserable again. I was at a loss of what to do as I closed my eyes and listened as she cried herself back to sleep. Words usually came so easy to me, especially when I was talking to or comforting Bella, but none came. I felt like I was failing her again. I felt this way when she broke up with me.

Lost.

Confused.

A failure.

I woke late the next morning and found Bella gone. I wondered how she managed to slip from my arms without waking me. I'd never been a very heavy sleeper, but I had no clue what time I drifted off.

It didn't matter.

I rolled over and got out of bed, heading into my bathroom to relieve myself. As I washed my hands, I looked up finding a note taped to the mirror.

_Edward,_

_You looked so peaceful when I woke this morning. I didn't want to wake you. I want to thank you for not leaving in the middle of the night. I also want to let you know that you could never take advantage of me._

_I borrowed your car so I could run to the base. I need to return to Fort Baker for a bit and ransack my closet for something to wear tonight. I'll be back early this afternoon, so don't worry. I'm not going to stand you up. I'm really looking forward to tonight and taking _you_ to the concert._

_You can call me, if you want. I added my number to your phone and also gave it to your mom._

_Bella_

How in the world did she know I didn't want to take advantage of her? Then again, it was like her to read me and know what I was feeling. With a smile, I reread her note before placing it on the sink and walking out of the bathroom, looking for my phone. I found it atop another note.

_Edward,_

_Guess you decided to give me a call, and I couldn't be happier. Talk to you soon._

_Bella_

My grin was huge as I quickly found her number and dialed, but I was immediately connected with her voicemail. I hung up and tried again, only to be connected to her voicemail once again. What in the world?

Grabbing up a shirt and pulling it over my head, I went in search of Mom and breakfast. I would keep trying until I reached Bella. I found Mom at the kitchen table.

"Morning," Mom said, putting down her coffee cup. "Did you have fun last night?"

"Yeah, I did. Did you talk to Bella before she left?" I wanted to find out what Mom knew before asking her advice.

"Briefly. I asked when you two got back, which she provided. Why, did something happen?"

Oh, boy! I wasn't sure if I should, but I really needed some guidance. I could call Angela—no, Mom knew me. I sighed, running a hand through my tousled hair.

"What is it, Edward?"

I dove into what had happened at the restaurant and the walk along the pier. How I wanted to kiss Bella, but talked myself out of it. "Fifteen minutes after we got back, she rushed into my bedroom—"

"Oh, dear!"

"It's not what you think. She kissed me, Mom, and I kissed her back. I couldn't let her leave, so I …" I stopped, shaking my head.

What had I been thinking when I walked her backward toward my bed? I sighed and again ran a hand through my hair, pulling at it.

I hadn't been thinking. The moment she kissed me, I reacted.

"What did you do?" Mom asked. Her tone was gentle, unassuming.

"I, I …" I blew out a breath. "I couldn't let her leave. So, I walked toward the bed, still kissing her. She fell asleep in my arms."

Mom smiled. "I see nothing wrong with that."

"I don't want to take advantage of her."

It was Mom's turn to sigh as she motioned for me to sit. "Edward, you're not the type of person who would take advantage of someone who's vulnerable. That you're beating yourself for reacting to a kiss Bella obviously wanted tells me that."

"Still …"

"What does Bella think? Have you talked to her about this?"

"No," I whispered. My shoulders slumped. The words of the note Bella left came to me_:__ you could never take advantage of me_. "She left me a note."

"And what did it say?"

"Exactly what you said."

"Bella's smart. She probably knew you'd be worrying."

I got up and left without another word. When I was back in my bedroom, I picked up my cell and dialed Bella again.

BPOV

I was just placing the second note under Edward's phone when he rolled over, facing me. His even breathing told me he was still out. Sitting on the bed, I skimmed my fingers along his rough jaw line. He looked much younger when asleep, despite the stubble. Leaning down, I brushed my lips at the corner of his mouth.

"You could never take advantage of me," I whispered.

I could've sat there until he woke, just staring at him, but I had to go home for a bit to get something different to wear for the concert. What I'd packed—on the off chance Vance could get me tickets and that I'd be able to go—was nothing special and drab. My typical concert garb: jeans, the last 'tee' from the last tour of the band, and a light jacket. This time was different. Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper were not going with me—Edward was.

I caressed Edward's face again. _What did I done to deserve you?_ I wondered for the first time in years. I got up and walked out of the room.

"Morning, Esme," I said, walking into the kitchen.

"I didn't expect you to be up this early," she said, looking up from the newspaper. "What time did you and Edward get back?"

"I think it was a little after eleven."

"I'm surprised I didn't hear you come in. Oh, well. Breakfast?"

"No, I have to run to the base and catch the next shuttle to Fort Baker."

"Oh! What about the concert?"

"I'll be back in plenty of time." I took the slip of paper I had written my cell number on out of my pocket. "This is my number if you need to get ahold of me. Edward has it, too."

Esme smiled at me, pocketing the number before I walked out of the kitchen. I wanted her back in my life; it had been a mistake cutting her out of it, but a more costly one when I broke up with Edward. Where would we have been now if I hadn't? I didn't know. I sighed, picking up the keys Edward had placed on the table by the front door when we returned the previous evening, and walked out the door. I had just gotten in the driver's seat of his car when my cell rang. _Alice._

"Hey, Alice," I answered.

"Are you freaking out yet?" she asked.

"Nooo. Should I be?" I wasn't sure why Alice was asking me that.

"You're going out with Edward again. Last night you told me you once loved him, and you're not freaking out. Honestly, Bella, what are you going to wear?"

"I never once freaked out any time I went out with Edward, so why would I now? I don't know what I'm going to wear. I was going to catch a shuttle to Fort Baker."

"And get what exactly? You have nothing that screams _I want you_."

"Ali!" I shrieked. "I don't _want _him in the way you are implying."

"Sure you don't. Come get me and we'll go shopping."

"Don't you have a case to work on?"

"I have the morning off. Rosalie and the guys don't need me, and I'm getting in their way."

"Fine," I said, sighing. I guessed there was no way around it. "Are you at the base or the station?"

"The station," Alice told me before hanging up.

I laughed; it was just like her to hang up without saying goodbye.

~~ SIB ~~

"By now, Edward should be finding my first note, Alice," I said. I'd just picked her up forty-five minutes ago and had filled her in on where we went, what I wore, and what happened after I called her for advice.

"I still can't believe you left him a note before you left. You have to tell me what it said."

"That I was going to Fort Baker, and I would be back this afternoon. Your call came at the right moment."

Alice and I were almost to Port Angeles. I was driving, since I refused to let her drive Edward's car, and the others—Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper—needed the car I was given.

"That's what a best friend is for. I knew you would be freaking out about what you were going to wear, and I was kind of right," she said, cranking up the radio. "Man, he has great taste in music."

I let out a laugh at the fact that Alice still believed I was freaking out and at her comment about Edward's taste in music. "You should see his room then. One whole wall is dedicated CDs, EPs, LPs, and vinyl. He has quite the collection—classical, pop, rock." After I moment, I asked, "How did you convenience Vance to let you have the day off?"

Alice caught my eye when I checked the passenger side mirror.

"I haven't heard you laugh in a long time."

I didn't realize Alice had noticed I hadn't been laughing. "What can I say? I haven't had much to laugh about."

"True. And as for how I got the morning off, I told Vance the truth. That you were going out on a date. He told me to take you out shopping. I never figured Vance was an old softie at heart. I always thought he was just a hard-ass."

I chuckled at that—Vance a _hard-ass_?No way. "He's like a second father to me, well, a third father. I consider Carlisle—Dr. Cullen—a father-figure, too."

"Wow! My dad was hardly a father to me, and you have three you can turn to. I'm jealous. Oh, what was in the other envelope I gave you? Vance wouldn't tell me."

"Tickets and backstage passes to tonight's sold-out Linkin Park concert," I said with a shrug, turning onto First Street. I had tried to get in touch with Brad several times to see if he had any tickets left, but I kept missing him. He told me any time I wanted to come to a show, to give him a call and he would make sure tickets were waiting for me.

"No way. I wish I could go. Wait, is that were Edward's taking you tonight?"

"No," I said, looking over at her as we got out of the car having reached parking area. "I'm taking him. He's just taking me to dinner before the concert."

"So, you did ask him out, but was it before or _after_ he asked you out?"

"Before, _way_ before." I told her how I had sprung the tickets on him, and she was rolling with laughter when I explained the pure disbelief that crossed his face when he saw the tickets.

"Okay, we have got to find you the perfect outfit for tonight," she said, linking her arm with mine as we walked into the first shop, Betty's Apparel. "Is there a color that he loved seeing you in?"

I bit my lip, thinking. Before I could answer, I heard a voice that just made me flinch.

"Well hello, _Bella_. I hope you enjoyed your date with Edward last night. Too bad it's your last. He's taking me out tonight," Lauren said, venom dripping from her voice as she came up behind me.

I'd had enough of her torment in high school, and I wasn't the same girl I was then that stood for her lies back then. I also had learned a thing or two from Alice and Rosalie about handling scum. I kept in mind Edward's reaction at seeing her last night, which informed me his feelings hadn't changed in her regard. "Now that's funny," I said, looking over at Alice. I gave her a wink, signaling I was going to need her help. "He didn't mention anything about taking you out when I left his bed this morning."

"You bitch! Edward's mine." She raised her hand as if to slap me.

Alice was quick to step in front of me. She grabbed Lauren's hand just when it would have made contact with my cheek, bringing Lauren to her knees. "I take it you're Lauren," she said. Not waiting for an answer, she continued, "From what I've heard about you, you're nothing but a slut who can't even get a guy off. And from the way you're dressed, I don't think you could even land a nice guy like _Edward_, anyway."

Alice looked at me. My jaw was dropped open. Sure, she was a black-belt in karate— that's why I'd wanted her help—but I had never heard her speak that way. It was frightening.

"Try anything and you'll find yourself on your stomach in cuffs," Alice said, pushing aside her jacket, revealing the silver and gold badge at her hip. "Now get the hell out of here." She released a crying and embarrassed Lauren.

I watched as Lauren raced out of the shop, swiping at her face. "My God, Alice," I said once the onlookers went back to shopping. "I've never heard you talk like that before."

"She was going to hit you. Plus, no one calls a friend of mine a _bitch_ and gets away with it."

"Wow," I said, shaking my head. "How in the world did you know she was constantly called a slut? I never told you that—not even when I was drunk."

"Did you see what she was wearing? It barely covered anything."

I started laughing. Good lord, it felt great, and only Alice would deduce "slut" from a way too small top on a large-breasted Lauren.

"Let's forget about that encounter and get down to shopping."

"All right, and to answer your question, any shade of blue," I told her. "He could never keep his hands to himself when I wore that color."

Fifteen minutes later, Alice was pushing me into a dressing room with an armful of tops—not all blue—and a couple different sized jeans. The ones I had on were getting a tad snug and they shouldn't have been—they were fairly new.

"Wait, give me your phone," Alice demanded, holding out her hand.

I had told her Edward might call on the drive. I was surprised he hadn't at least once by now. "Why?" I huffed.

"So I can take pictures, silly. Trust me, it will help us decide," she said as I handed her my phone with a wary look.

I pulled off what I was wearing, running a hand over my stomach and looking at myself in the mirror. My tummy had a slight swell to it. I watched as my brows drew together. "There has to be a logical explanation," I muttered. I tried on the pair of dark-wash jeans and found they were not only comfortable, but that I could breathe. I paired them with the first of many tops: a blouson fit blue top that showed my stomach. I heard Alice's voice come through the door.

"Bella, did you know your phone was off?"

"No, I didn't," I said, opening the door without glancing in the mirror before stepping out so Alice tell me what she thought. I did feel exposed in the top. "I'm not sure about this top. I think it shows too much."

She snapped a picture.

"Really!"

"It doesn't show too much. You have a great body. and you should show it instead of covering it up all the time." She showed me the picture.

I couldn't believe it. "I look hot."

"Yep, you do. I don't like the top on you. Go try on another," she said as my phone began playing _At the Beginning_. "And I'll take care of this call."

"Alice!" I shrieked, trying to get my phone out of her hands. That was the ringtone I'd set for Edward.

"No you don't," she said, pointing to the dressing room. "Hello … Of course this is her phone. She's unavailable to talk to you at the moment."

EPOV

Uh. Did Bella input the wrong number? I asked whoever had answered. It was her number and she wasn't available. Where in the world was Bella that she was unavailable?

"Can I ask who I'm speaking with, then?" The speaker sounded familiar, but I couldn't place the voice with a name.

"Alice," the speaker responded. "Damn, Bella, that looks even better on you."

"Hello," I said a couple of times, thinking Alice had forgotten she was on the phone. "Alice!"

"Sorry," she said. "Can I have her call you back?"

"Sure." I chuckled. "Just tell her Edward called."

I looked at my phone as the line went dead. I was still looking at it when Mom came into my room with fresh towels.

"Did you finally reach of Bella?"

"Not exactly. Alice answered and told me Bella was 'unavailable'. I don't understand why she's with Bella, instead of working on the case."

Mom just shrugged before heading into my bathroom right at the moment my phone beeped, indicating I had an email. I opened it and saw it was from Bella, with a photo attachment. I hated the way my phone displayed images, so I went over to my laptop and opened the message there. I was just starting to sit when the image finished loading. I missed the chair and fell right to the floor as my jaw dropped.

"Edward, are you all right?" Mom asked, coming back out of my bathroom with the dirty towels. She started to laugh when she saw me stand, rubbing my rear.

I couldn't speak my eyes still on the picture of Bella in a black sequined top that revealed her creamy shoulders. I scrolled back up to the message: _I'm thinking about wearing something like this tonight. What do you think?_

I turned to find Mom still standing behind me with an amused smile on her face. "I never thought I would live to see you so speechless. Are you going to let her know what you think?" she asked as I sat down and hit reply. I waited until she left the room before I began typing.

_What do I think?_ I began. _Breathtaking and you have me at a loss for words._ I hit send and hit print—it would come out on the wireless printer in Dad's office. I'd have to put it on a flash drive and take it somewhere for a better print. I was framing it.

BPOV

"Bella, that's the top," Alice said, the moment I walked out in a deep blue tie-front crop top. "With those jeans and a gold belt. You'll be trying to keep his hands off of you. Oh, you have an email from Edward." She handed me my phone back.

I quickly opened the message and was confused by his message: _breathtaking_ and _at a loss for words_. "Alice, what did you do?"

"I sent him one of the pictures I took." A mischievous smile appeared on her face.

I couldn't speak; I was so mad. "Which?" I asked through clenched teeth.

She took my phone back and flipped through the pictures and showed me.

Once I saw the picture, I knew I couldn't be mad at her. She'd picked the one I would've sent him. I sighed and walked back into the dressing room. "Let's pay and snag a quick lunch. It's a long drive to Seattle, and I need to shower."

"There are a few more things you'll need," she said, as I started to put back the tops that hadn't make the cut.

"Like what?"

She turned back with her hand on the door. "Meet me at the deli next door in five minutes." She left without answering my question.

I felt like stomping my feet in a childish manner. Instead, I gaped after her for a moment before selecting a few of the other tops I had absolutely loved—especially the sequined top I was wearing in the picture Alice had sent Edward—and put the rest back. I looked at the jewelry and picked out a few necklaces and earrings. I had forgotten how much I loved shopping. I was really enjoying myself while praying I wasn't going to break the bank with what I was buying.

I smiled at the older woman as she rang up my purchases. I was surprised when the total came up to just shy of fifty dollars. "Something wrong, dear?"

"I thought it would be more—a lot more, considering everything I'm purchasing," I said, handing her my hardly used credit card.

"I guess you didn't notice the signs." She motioned to the sign next to the register and around the store.

"I guess not," I said, reading it. A sixty percent off sale was going on. "You're not closing the store, are you?"

"Oh, no, just making room for more. Plus, what you're buying should've been on the clearance rack."

I couldn't recall. Alice had found most of the tops.

"Thank you." I took the receipt and bags. I left the store and was soon entering the deli.

"Looks like you bought more than just the one outfit," Alice remarked when I joined her at a table. I didn't know where she took off to or how she'd managed to beat me. "I ordered a sandwich and drink. Here's a bag of chips." She handed me a bag of my favorite chips—Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream.

I nodded, still not believing how little I had spent. "Thanks." I ripped open the bag, popping one in my mouth. _Mmm_. "Yes, I bought more than the one outfit: six tops, three pairs of jeans, a belt, and some jewelry—all for forty-six dollars. I couldn't believe the total."

"You should shop with me more often," she commented with a laugh. "All the tops I gave you were from the clearance rack. Here, something from me to wear tonight." She passed me three bags.

I opened one and was floored by what was inside—a matching bra and panty set. "_Lace_," I whispered. "I can't wear anything like this."

"You can and you will." She winked at me. "Ask Esme if Edward was acting strange when you get back. If he was, then you have to wear them. If he wasn't, which is highly unlikely, you don't have to wear them."

"Deal," I said, shaking her outstretched hand. The next bag held a small box containing a long, heart dangling thing; I had no clue what it was. "Alice?"

"It's a fake navel ring."

"A _what?_" I examined it with interest as she explained.

"A fake belly button ring—it's magnetic." She took the piece of jewelry from the box, handing it to me, and instructed me how to put it on. "Hold the front and carefully pull the rear arm back but not too far."

I did so, biting my lip.

"Good, now place the rear into the back of the navel, position, and release. Adjust it until it feels comfortable. I wear one—see?" she said, raising her shirt slightly and showing me the one she was wearing. "I like the magnetic ones better than the clips. They're more comfortable and don't pinch the skin."

"Cool," I said. She knew I had always wanted to get my navel pierced, but was too scared of needles to actually go through with it. I'd tried clip-on ones, but found them painful. "I wish I knew there were ones like this earlier. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

I looked in the last bag. "Hairspray?"

"No, silly. It's body glitter. Just have Esme spray a light coat on your arms and stomach."

"I don't think I can ask her to do that," I retorted. I snapped my fingers. "I know, go with me to Dad's and help me get ready. Let me just call Esme and find out if I have to wear the lace undergarments or not."

I dialed the house number, glad I remembered it. I prayed as it rang that Edward would not pick up.

"Hello, Esme," I said less than a minute later.

"Bella, let me just get Edward for you."

"Wait! I want to ask you a question first." I waited a beat and she said nothing. "Has Edward being acting strange since I emailed him?"

"Come to think of it, yes he has. When I came out of his bathroom from getting the towels, he was getting up off the floor rubbing his rump. He was speechless. I chanced a look at his laptop screen and was quite surprised to see a remarkable and beautiful picture of you. He hasn't been the same since. Why do you ask?"

I blushed and was glad she wasn't here. "Just wanted to settle a bet. It looks like I will be wearing something I don't want to wear tonight."

"Do I even want to know?" she asked.

"No, I don't think you do. Let me talk to Edward," I said as a sandwich was set in front of me.

"Edward," I heard her call. "Phone for you."

"I got it, Mom. Hello," he answered in a velvety voice that just made me melt.

I sighed and threw Alice a nasty look when she snickered.

"I heard you fell this morning after reading an email. Are you okay?" I waited a moment before continuing. "Edward?"

He cleared his throat in a clear attempt to stall a moment longer. "When will you be back?"

"Well"—I hedged, stalling in answering. I wanted to see how he would interpret my hesitation.

"You're coming back, right?"

"Yes, I'm just not at Fort Baker. Alice called me as I was heading out. She had the morning off and asked me to go shopping with her. So we're in Port Angeles, but are leaving soon." I bit my lip before asking, "You don't mind that I borrowed your car?"

Edward chuckled, and I relaxed. "Not at all, borrow it anytime. I wanted to let you know that we'll be staying in Seattle—at my house—tonight."

"Could you have your mom pack me an overnight bag—just pajamas and other essentials? I bought a couple outfits, so I don't need more than that." I looked over at Alice; she was trying to ignore the one sided conversation, but I knew she was listening. It was time to test her ignoring abilities. "I have something to tell you."

"I'm listening." There was curiosity in his voice.

"We ran into Lauren in one of the shops—it wasn't pretty. She overheard me telling Alice what happened between us last night and called me a bitch."

Alice's jaw dropped when I said the word.

Edward growled. That puzzled me. Lauren had called me worse in front of him and he'd never growled. At least, I think he hadn't in the past. "Did she hit you? I swear she'll pay if she did," he said, sounding like he was gritting his teeth.

Whoa! Edward sounded mad. "No. Alice intervened." I'd tell him later what happened.

"Thank you for telling me. Did you find something for tonight?"

I blew out a breath in relief. His voice still sounded tense, but it was no longer pissed off. "You'll have to wait and see," I said. "See you soon. Oh, you might want to check your email again in a few minutes." I giggled after ending the call.

"You're not," Alice said.

I didn't need her to say any more. We both knew what I was about to do. I thought seeing another picture of me would relieve the tension I'd thought I still heard in his voice after I told him about Lauren almost hitting me.

"Sure am," I said with a wicked smile. "What should I type?"

"Type: _Something to think about while you're waiting for me._"

I found the most innocent, yet subtly sexy picture Alice had taken and attached it to an email, sending it without a second thought.

Half an hour later, Alice and I were on our way back to Forks. We stopped at Dad's first. Luckily, he wasn't home. I had taken a quick showered and had dressed. Alice had also sprayed my arms and stomach with the glitter before throwing a sweater jacket at me.

I was just dropping her off at the station. After she got out, she leaned back into the car. "Remember what I told you to do. Don't you, under any circumstances, let him know that the sweater jacket isn't part of the outfit—wait until you're in the stadium and seated before you take it off."

"Got it, Ali," I said irritably as she shut the door.

Alice could be bossy at times, and this was definitely one of those times. But I would listen to her. Who knew how Edward would react.

I drove off and was at the Cullens' in no time. I walked in the front door and found Esme lazily sitting in living room, thumbing through a design magazine.

"Edward will be right down," she said. "He said something about having to take another shower." She gave a little titter. "I wonder what caused his slight problem."

Esme turned and glanced at me in time to see a blush spread over my face before going back to her magazine. It amazed me she could talk so casually about such things. Though I was sure a picture of me wouldn't cause the problem she was hinting at; I was nothing special. I was just ordinary—'sexually unattractive' as my ex had often yelled at me—and yet, if what Esme was saying was true, Edward found me attractive in a sexual way. I felt my cheeks burn even more.

"Good to hear, that will give me time to change shoes." I escaped up the stairs so I wouldn't die of embarrassment if Esme turned to look at me again. My hands flew to my face as soon as I was safely behind the door of the guestroom I was staying in, dropping the bag I'd carried up, and I counted to ten slowly. Feeling calmer, I moved to get the shoes Alice had instructed me to wear. I was just slipping on the dark-blue, high-heel boots—I didn't even know I had them with me—when I caught a glimpse of Edward through the crack in the door coming out of his room.

Oh, boy!

I was in trouble. Serious trouble.

Edward looked edible, dressed in dark blue jeans and a crisp, button-down white dress shirt. I swallowed hard.

I had to call Alice.

"Ali, I can't go through with it," I said the moment she picked up. "I'm smoldering in this sweater." I was smoldering in more than one way. I couldn't even find the words to tell her what I was feeling. I didn't even know what it was that had my gut tangling in knots at the mere sight of Edward.

"Yes you can, Bella. Just think about how shocked Edward's going to be. You need him to be disappointed after the last picture _you_ sent him."

"I hope you're right. I don't want this to blow up in my face."

"It won't. Have a little faith."

I hung up, put a smile on my face, and started down the stairs. The knot got tighter when I saw Edward.

**A/N: _Anastasia (soundtrack -1997) - _"At the Beginning" sung by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis.**

**Chapter title is a Linkin Park song.**

**Thanks to AnthroBug and Marly for betaing this chapter.**


	7. One Step Closer

Chapter 7 — One Step Closer

EPOV

It was over an hour later when I checked my email again to find the picture Bella said she was sending. My jaw dropped, and it was a good thing that I was sitting down or I would have missed the chair again. I couldn't believe the second picture. Did she know the word _mercy_? Apparently not. All I knew was the top was blue, covered everything, and yet revealed so much. It wasn't what the Bella I remembered would wear—oversized shirt, jeans, and sneakers—but, at the same time, it was so her—a touch sexy. It stirred me in a way I hadn't experienced in a long time. I would have printed that picture, too if it wasn't for the fact that I needed a shower—a very cold shower. I high-tailed it out of the living room, mumbling; I think Mom snickered. One phrase came to mind as I stepped into the tub and into the icy spray: I_ want _Bella.

The shower did wonders to clear my head of the inappropriate thoughts and had taken care of my problem. I prayed while buttoning up my white dress top that Bella wouldn't wear that top around me or to the concert. I was afraid I would attack her if she did wear it. I did secretly hope she would, though. If she wasn't wearing it—I shrugged—it didn't matter; but, if she hadn't bought it, I was going to call Alice and find out where I could find it and buy it for her. I had to see Bella in it. I left my room and headed downstairs to wait for Bella's return. Hopefully it wouldn't take her long to get ready; we didn't have much wiggle room, with us going out to dinner and backstage.

I looked out the window as I came down the stairs and noticed she was back. "Mom, when did Bella get back?" I asked.

"Just a few minutes ago. She went upstairs to get different shoes."

"I hope she's not long. I have a feeling traffic is going to be terrible, like it usually is when we hit Seattle." I leaned against the sofa.

A moment later, I heard Bella's footfalls on the stairs. I walked over, a grin planted firmly on my face, though momentary disappointment washed over my face when I noticed what she was wearing—a cream sweater with a bit of dark blue over jeans. After the teasing photos she sent me, I was expecting—well, not what she was wearing— maybe something a little sexier. I quickly schooled my face, hoping she didn't see my fleeting sadness. "You look beautiful." I meant it as I offered her my hand. Bella was beautiful in anything she wore.

"Thank you," she said, rewarding me with her beautiful blush; that completed the package I remembered.

"Let me grab your bag and we'll head out."

"Have fun you two," Esme said, looking over at us.

"We will," Bella said as I walked out the door before her.

I didn't have the heart to ask her if she'd bought the top.

BPOV

I stifled a laugh as I walked out behind Edward. Score one for me; his face had been priceless—from smile to frown and back in mere seconds. I had a feeling he didn't know I had seen his reaction. I wish I had my camera to prove later that I had seen his disappointment. I was sure he wasn't expecting what I was wearing. I wondered what he was expecting me to be wearing. Hopefully not the innocent, but subtly sexy top I had on in the picture I sent him. I had a strange feeling he was, though.

What he didn't know, and I wasn't going to tell him, was I had bought the top in the one and only picture I had sent him. If things grew between us again, as Alice predicted they would, I would surprise him by wearing it. For now, it was going to stay well hidden.

Edward was silent when he got in and started the car. "You filled up," he said, looking over at me.

"Yep, and don't look so surprised, Edward. I borrowed your car, so I returned it with gas in it."

"The tank was only half full. You didn't have to fill it completely up."

"I know. I wanted to. Plus, we won't have to stop." I touched his hand briefly before he put the car in drive. After a moment, I spoke again. "I hope you're not disappointed."

"Why would I be?" he asked, glancing over at me briefly.

"Alice hijacked my phone and sent you _the_ picture," I said coyly, a smile playing on my lips.

"I was a little," he admitted, "but you look beautiful in anything you wear."

I wasn't expecting him to say that and faltered in what I'd practiced saying with Alice. "Oh." I bet if I looked at my face, it would be comical—lips pursed and slightly opened with my brows drawn together.

We fell silent again and he started to reach for my hand, but pulled back with a sigh. "You have to tell me. What did Lauren do to you?" he asked.

"Nothing, and she didn't overhear me tell Alice anything. She just saw me and started telling me about how she was going out with you tonight." I held up my hand, stopping him from saying whatever he was going to say. "Let me finish before you ask me anything. I think you will find what happened funny."

"Go on," he said when I paused to let him respond.

"Remembering your reaction from last night, my protection instincts kicked in. So, I turned around, looked her straight in the eye, and said, 'You didn't mention anything about taking her out when I left your bed this morning.' She called me a 'bitch' and made to slap me, but Alice caught her hand as it came forward, bringing Lauren to her knees."

"I don't see what's funny about that," he said.

"I'm not finished," I said before going on. "Alice then proceeded to call Lauren a slut who—one, couldn't get a guy off, and two, couldn't get a nice guy like you if her life depended on it. Lauren ran out of the shop in tears. Alice had no clue that all the guys called Lauren a slut."

Once I finished, he started chortling. "I wish I'd been there to see Lauren's face," he said, calming down.

"It sure was priceless. I didn't think to take out my phone and snap a picture of it all going down. But that's not the best part. Alice asked the store owner for a copy of the security footage. The owner immediately agreed, telling us that Lauren has pestered more than one guy when they came in the store with their girlfriends. Alice is going to email you a copy tonight and plans on finding Lauren's email address to send it to her as well. All you have to do is mention giving the footage to a news station or paper if Lauren bothers you again."

"I can't wait to see what happened."

"I was a tad possessive."

It was a long, silent minute before Edward spoke, and when he did there was a hint of something more underlying what he said. "I'm glad you were."

I really didn't have much time to ponder his meaning as my phone rang. I dug in my purse and got it out. "It's Alice. I asked her to call me once she reviewed the footage."

I looked down at my phone and noticed it is was a text message from Alice. "It's a text," I said, opening it.

_OMG, Bella, the footage is great and not fuzzy. With Emmett's mad technical skills I have a picture of the look on Lauren's face at what I said to her. I'll send it in a few minutes, and with your approval, I'll also send it to Edward. Emmett is still tweaking it._

Another message came through with the picture a second after I'd finished reading the first message. I opened it and instantly started laughing. Edward looked over at me. "What?" he started to ask and I shook my head.

"You'll have to wait until we get to Seattle," I said, turning on the radio. I was glad he didn't push for an answer or to see what had me laughing.

I tried to stifle a yawn, but it came through anyway, indicating how tired I was. I guess the shopping trip took more out of me than I thought.

I felt rather than saw Edward glance over at me again. "Bella, lean the seat back and rest. It's a long drive. I promise to wake you when we get to Seattle."

"Are you sure?"

He reached over and placed his hand on my knee. The tingling sensation was instant. "Yes, this isn't the first time I've driven to Seattle. I know the way."

I didn't lean the seat back, and it felt like I had just closed my eyes when Edward was whispering in my ear that we'd arrived. I opened my eyes and was immediately looking deep into his green eyes. I became lost for a moment as he reached across and released the seatbelt, his eyes never leaving mine.

I missed the perfect opportunity to surprise him again with a kiss. He stood and I took hold of his hand as he helped me out of the car. "This isn't the stadium," I said, confused for a moment.

"We have at least three hours before the concert starts," he said, lacing his fingers with mine as we walked toward the entrance of what appeared to be an old warehouse or perhaps even a fishery since I could see the waterfront and hear waves crashing.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Chez Shea," he told me, opening the door for me.

It was a restaurant name I recognized, and it sounded fancy. How did I know the name? I'd never been here before. I searched my memory and couldn't come up with an answer. "I'm not dressed for fine dining," I said.

"You look fine, and this restaurant is quasi-fine," he whispered in my ear.

"Mr. Cullen, I didn't expect to see you here. Angela told us you were working from Forks," the maître d' said in a lilting French accent, coming out from behind the podium to shake Edward's hand shortly after we'd entered.

I looked over wide-eyed at Edward as he answered. "That I am, Jacque. I'm just here to eat before a concert with my beautiful date," he said, squeezing my hand. "Bella, allow me to introduce the maître d', Jacque."

"It is a pleasure to meet quite a beauty such as you, Bella," Jacque said, taking my proffered hand, bowing over it, and placing a kiss on my knuckles.

I naturally blushed. "As it is a pleasure to meet you," I responded when he straightened.

"I should turn you away like we do with everyone who doesn't make a reservation," Jacque replied in a joking manner, waving his finger in Edward's face. "But you have a standing reservation, so a table will be made ready."

"Thank you," Edward said, turning to me as Jacque went back over to the podium.

"A standing reservation?" I asked.

He leaned toward me and kissed the tip of my nose before whispering. "Yes, I'm the owner."

"You own this restaurant?" I asked in a hushed whisper, hardly believing it.

"Mr. Cullen, if you would follow Jane," Jacque said as he handed a sprite-like young lady two menus.

"I wouldn't have said I did if I didn't," he whispered before motioning for me to go ahead of him. He placed a hand at the small of my back, just like he had the previous night.

I followed Jane as I looked around. There were two large windows and exposed wooden beams. I asked what the restaurant had been before.

"I was once told it was formerly a home," Jane said, turning to face me once we had reached the table.

I highly doubted it had been a home, but it certainly could've been. Whatever it once was, it worked here because the ambience, coupled with the view out the large windows, created a wonderful atmosphere. I would dare say a quite romantic atmosphere.

"Allow me," Edward said, pulling out my chair. Jane handed me a menu once I sat.

"Can I get you something to drink?" she asked once Edward had sat.

"Uh," I said, trying to locate the drink section, and was glad when Edward ordered for us.

"Have the bartender bring over two wine glasses and open a bottle of Pinot Noir from my personal collection," he said without picking up his menu.

"Certainly. Angela will be right over to take your order."

"I thought she asked for the night off," he commented before Jane could walk away.

"Well, she did but decided since both you and Christopher wouldn't be here tonight, someone had to be. Enjoy your meal."

"Order whatever you want, Bella," he said.

I had just looked down at the menu when I heard a somewhat familiar voice. "Oh my god! Is that really you, Bella?"

I looked over at Edward, who just smiled at me, before looking over his shoulder. _Angela Weber_. I immediately stood and gave her a hug. "Yes it's me, Angela. You work here?"

"Yes, I'm the house manager when Edward's not here and staff manager when he is. But tonight I'm handling not only the house, I'm overseeing the kitchen and waitressing—we are short-handed tonight," she said, looking at Edward, and he nodded before she turned back to me and asked, "Where are you staying?"

"In Forks, with Carlisle and Esme," I answered, sitting back down.

"We're going to have to get together before you leave. Now, let me tell you about the special tonight that you won't find on the menu. Edward should already know it. We start you off with Ahi Tuna Crudo resting on top of a wasabi salsa verde and a soy glaze. Next, Duck and Foie Gras Pate served with cornichons, pickled red onions, and stone ground mustard, and finishing with Confit of Muscovy Duck, which is a layering of sautéed matsutake mushrooms and duck jus."

I wasn't very adventurous when it came to food, but as she told me the special, my mouth started watering. "I'll have that. It sounds a little daring."

"I'll have the same and two Pineapple Basil sorbets for dessert."

She nodded as a bartender brought over the opened bottle of Pinot Noir and two wine glasses. He poured a little of the red liquid into a glass for Edward.

I watched as Edward held the glass up to the light—the liquid was dark red, like a dried blood stain. He swirled the glass before he brought the glass up to his nose, breathing in the aroma. Finally, he took a couple of sips and nodded. He kept his eyes on me the whole time and winked at me as he handed the glass back.

_Holy smokes! It's a little hot in here!_

I was handed a full glass of wine. "I really shouldn't," I said before taking a sip and finding it intoxicatingly sweet, like a nice ripe strawberry. I looked over the rim to find Edward smiling at me.

"And why not?" he asked, taking a sip of his own.

I answered when I put the glass down. "Red wine leaves me feeling presumptuous if I drink too much, but one glass won't hurt. Plus, someone once told me this particular wine is 'sex in a glass'," I said in a whisper. I leaned a little closer to him to gauge his reaction, which was hard with the table between us. He about choked as he swallowed before looking at me, dumbfounded.

"I hadn't heard that before," he said, putting his glass down before reaching across the table to take hold of my hand. He started running his thumb slowly over my palm.

I bit the inside of my cheek to prevent a groan of pleasure from escaping. A sense of loss washed over me when Edward pulled his hand back. Angela had returned with the first course. I looked at the plate for a moment before picking up my fork, a little unsure. I took a small bite and found that it was quite delicious.

"What did the message from Alice say?" Edward asked as we continued to eat.

I had forgotten all about it. "Remind me when we get back into the car and I will show you what she sent me," I said with a smile as I picked up my wine glass and took another sip. I was a little lightheaded, and I'd only taken two sips. That was a bit strange for me. So, when Angela returned with the second course, I asked if she could bring me a glass of water with a lemon.

"Certainly," she responded.

The rest of the meal was an experience. I'm glad I decided to be a little adventurous tonight; I would've definitely been missing something. When Angela brought out dessert, I didn't think I could eat it and was surprised that it was just flavored ice.

Edward threw a couple of bills on the table and stood. "Don't we have to wait for the check?" I asked in a whisper.

"Have you forgotten? I own this restaurant."

"You still have to pay, don't you?" I asked, my voice still low.

"No," he whispered in my ear. "One of the advantages of owning a restaurant."

He again settled his hand at the small of my back and guided me out. Opening the door for me, I smiled over my shoulder at him, walking out.

I stopped next to the car, waiting for him to open the door. "Before I open the car door, I want to know what Alice sent."

I pulled out my phone and opened the message before handing him my phone.


	8. I Wanna Heal

Chapter 8 — I Wanna Heal

**A/N:**

**Song List:**

"**Decode" by Paramore**

"**New Divide" by Linkin Park**

"**Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park**

**Hello readers. I use parts of all three, and all of "Somewhere I Belong" in this chapter. If you are not familiar with them, they are on **_**You Tube**_**.**

EPOV

I about died laughing at seeing the picture of Lauren. She looked so helpless, but it served her right. Her face was pinched in horror, tears evident in her eyes. Bella joined me in laughing, and when I looked at her, her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. I sobered quickly, Bella becoming my immediate concern. "Are you okay?" I asked, moving my hand up to caress her cheek.

"Yes," she answered breathlessly. "Your face was… was … I can't describe it." She was trying to stifle a giggle.

I moved in closer to her, bending my head, my breath whispering across her skin. "You can't describe it, uh," I whispered, moving in to kiss her. _I can't_, I thought before pulling back. "We better get going, unless you want to be late." I opened the door and watched as she got in with a puzzled look on her face.

I closed the door and chuckled to myself as I walked around the car. Sure I wanted to kiss her, and though she said I didn't take advantage of her last night, I still felt as if I could easily do so. If I hadn't walked her back toward my bed … I shook my head. I was so confused and at a loss as to what to do. I would continue to be there for her as long as she needed me—maybe it would grow into something more.

I got in and started the car. "Bella," I said with a sigh, looking over at her. She wouldn't look over at me, so I continued. "You're grieving. I'll do what I can to help you heal and to take your mind off of things for a while. I just don't want to take advantage of you. I know you don't believe I could, but I just can't help feeling that I very well could."

She was silent when I finished. I blew out a long breath before backing out of the parking space and started toward the WaMu Theater. I saw Bella typing on her phone out of the corner of my eye.

BPOV

I couldn't believe it; he did to me again. I was certain he was about to kiss me but _no_. It was so frustrating. Did he not read what I had written in the first note? I didn't have to wait long for an answer, and I didn't know what to say. Again, I felt there was more to what he said—something he wasn't saying.

My phone was resting in my lap. I picked it up needing reassurance.

I started typing. _A_, _even after the note I left him this morning, Edward still believes he could easily take advantage of me. My memories of Carlie are easier to bear when he is with me. I find I can tell him about her without the overwhelming sense of drowning. I feel like I don't have to put on a brave face around him, and I can just be me again. It is like I never left him. ~B_

I hit send and put the phone back in my lap. It beeped as Edward was pulling into a parking garage near the venue. I bit my lip as I read Alice's reply.

_B, I don't know what you want me to say here and neither do Rosalie or the guys. Have you told him what you told me? I'd put money on the fact that you haven't. Tell him. Enjoy the show. ~A_

"Something wrong, Bella?"

I didn't realize I was scowling at my phone. "No. I just don't want to take my purse in with us."

"My trunk has a security lock, it will be safe," he said, taking it. "Will you need your ID?"

I patted my pocket with a smile before saying, "I've got it. You have the tickets and passes, right?"

I watched as he patted his pockets. "Uh, I knew I was forgetting something."

"Edward," I said in shock. He wanted to go, and now we wouldn't be able to get in. I started to panic. I begged Vance to get me tickets, and now it was all for nothing.

When he started chuckling, I looked back at him, and he had the tickets in his hand. "Relax, Bella. I have them."

"Don't do that again," I said, giving him a little nudge when he came to stand beside me. "You don't know the trouble I went through to secure those tickets."

"I would if you would tell me," he commented, taking my hand.

I was finding it hard to think but shook my head. "You'll find out soon enough."

Ten minutes later, we were backstage; the show was still forty-five minutes away from starting. "Bella," Brad Delson, the lead guitarist, called out, waving Edward and me over to where he was sitting with the rest of the guys. He stood and gave me a hug. "You could've called me. I would've given you tickets."

"You know …" Edward started, looking from Brad to me and back again.

"Yes, Brad and I went to UCLA together. We had a music appreciation class together as well as a few others."

I giggled at the look that crossed his face before turning back to Brad. "I tried calling you, and you never returned my calls," I chastised him.

"Nope," he said with a laugh, "I did, and you never called me back."

I slapped my forehead. "You're right. I meant to, but things with work kept coming up."

"Luckily, Vance's brother got a hold of one of the guys," he said, looking over at Edward. "Who's the codfish?"

I looked over at Edward, who was indeed gaping like a fish. "This is Edward Cullen. Edward, Brad Delson."

Brad and I shared a look before he offered his hand, and Edward took it. "Pleasure, Edward. Are you a fan?"

I had some explaining to do.

Edward just sat there, and I had to elbow him as I answered. "He's a bigger fan than me."

"Really," Brad said.

"Uh," Edward started, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess."

Brad laughed again. "Dude, relax. I'm not going to bite." I felt Edward relax a little. "Mind if I steal Bella away for a moment?"

"Of course he doesn't," I said, answering for a flabbergasted Edward.

EPOV

As soon as we were backstage, I was overwhelmed. I have dealt with big time stars before, and it was never a big deal, but this was—_different_. What was different was I idolized this band. They were not that much older than me. I'd always dreamed about being up on stage with millions of fans waiting to listen to me. I'd even gone after my dream, but after I was shot down the third time I realized my dream was just that, a dream. I quickly changed my major from music to business management, causing me to have to go to school for two more years. I didn't mind though. I loved learning.

I was lost in my own thoughts and didn't know what had gotten into me. When I finally snapped out of it, both Bella and Brad were gone. I looked over my shoulder and saw them a short distance away, still talking. They both had their backs to me, and I approached slowly. I was just closing the distance when I heard Brad's question.

"Bella, I thought you said he was the guy who broke your heart. What is he doing here with you?"

"That is _not_ what I told you. What I told you when you found me in one of the sound rooms, in tears, was that I was heartbroken because of what I did to him. What you don't know is that Edward attended UCLA. The day you found me, I saw him on campus instead of on the sidelines. I wanted to run to him, throw my arms around him, and beg him to forgive me. Then I saw someone else wrap their arms around him. I freaked out. I still loved him then and …" she paused, taking a breath and shaking her head.

"And what?" Brad asked. He asked the same question I wanted answered. Did she?

"And I still do."

They were still talking, but I didn't hear a word as I turned around and quickly went back to the couch. I sat and put my head in my hands, trying to think when Bella could've seen me and who I was hugging. I'd been so careful, especially after seeing her in a UCLA cheerleading uniform at a football game when I turned to accept a cup from the water boy. I hadn't known until then that she had stuck with her choice of college. What surprised me more than her knowing I went to UCLA was the fact that she _did_ still love me.

"Are you all right, Edward?" Brad asked. "You're not going to hurl, are you?"

"No." I looked up with a small smile on my face. "I'm just a little overwhelmed. I just never thought I would be backstage with the band I idolize." I chuckled.

"I completely understand. It's a rush. I met my idols a few years ago, and I couldn't speak for a long time." Edward nodded in agreement and smiled. "It was good to meet you, Edward. I need to finish getting ready, and you should get to your seats before Paramore starts up."

Bella offered me her hand, and I took it, getting up. We started walking away when Brad yelled at us, making us stop and turn around. "Hey, if you guys want, I can put your names on the sheet for the after-party at Rplace."

"Thanks for the invite," I started.

"Maybe next time, Brad," Bella said.

"I'll still put you two on the list, just in case you change your mind."

Once we are on way to our seats, I pulled Bella to a stop. "Are you sure you don't want to go to the after-party? We can if you want to."

She shook her head. "I don't want to go."

"Then we won't." I could sense there was something more that she wasn't saying, but I didn't push. "Will you be able to find the seats? I need—" I started and she cut me off.

"Of course. This is not the first time I have been here for a concert," she said, but I could see fear in her eyes.

I cupped her cheek, and she leaned into it. I didn't want to ask, but I need to know. "Did something happen to you the last time you were here?"

"No." She gave me a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

I kissed her cheek, letting the subject drop. Something had happened, but she wasn't willing to share. "I won't be long."

I watched her disappear before heading to the restrooms. Maybe Charlie knew something—I was worried about her. I tried to call him, but couldn't get a signal. Sighing, I decided to wait her out.

On my way to the seats, I stopped and bought a couple of t-shirts. When I reached where Bella was standing, my jaw dropped and I stopped breathing as I saw the top she had on—a dark blue top that left her stomach bare. I swallowed hard as my eyes drifted down her body. Someone please have mercy on me.

_I want,_ I thought swallowing again.

Bella was not leaving my sight for the rest of the evening.

BPOV

I waited on edge for Edward to appear in the crowd. I kept looking over my shoulder and finally spotted him. I stood with my phone ready and quickly slipped out of my sweater as I told myself I could do this—that I wanted to do this. I turned just in time to see the look of shock on his face. I smiled as I snapped a picture.

"Bella… what… how…" he stammered.

I motioned to the sweater on the seat. His eyes got larger as realization hit him, and I couldn't resist snapping another picture. I put my phone away before he could snatch it away from me, not that he noticed I had it out.

"Wow!" he exclaimed when he'd recovered, looking at me from head to toe.

I fought against the urge to reach for my sweater and put it back on. Before I knew it, I was reaching for the sweater. His hands caught mine, and he leaned toward me.

"Don't," he whispered.

I felt his breath on my lips, the smell strawberries, from the wine, on his breath. The lights dimmed, and I reluctantly stepped away from him with a sigh. So close. Even though I like Paramore, I don't know many of their songs—unlike Edward.

His hands soon settled on my waist as he drew me to stand in front of him. I had to smile to myself as I leaned back against him. This was how my life should have been—Edward and me together, leaving our responsibilities and enjoying alone time together.

The last song Paramore played was my favorite. Edward leaned in and sang quietly along in my ear. I froze when he ran his hands up and down my sides, I felt like was going to be sick.

How did we get here?

When I use to know you so well

How did we get here?

Well, I think I know

I think I know

I think I know

There is something I see in you

It might kill me I want it to be true

The lights came back up, and I was breathing raggedly. I had to get out of here for a few minutes. I stepped out of his embrace and ran into the crowd.

"Bella!" he shouted.

I chanced a look over my shoulder, glad to see he wasn't following me. I slowed and circled around to the backstage area, trying not to panic in the crash of the crowd. I showed my pass and went in search of Brad.

"Bella," a voice came from behind me. I turned to see Brad coming toward me. "I didn't expect to see you backstage again." He took a good look at me and frowned as he noted my obvious distress. "What's wrong?"

I quickly explained how I froze when Edward hands roamed up and down my sides, and how it reminded me of my rape. I was glad he knew about it. Before long I found myself wrapped up in his embrace.

"You have to let him know, Bella. Look, from what you told me earlier about Edward, he would do nothing to hurt you. He'll understand."

"He's not the problem. I wore this outfit because I was hoping he would do just what he did. I just wasn't prepared when it happened. I need your help."

"I'll do anything for you. You know that."

"Is _Somewhere I Belong _on the playlist?"

"Yes," he answered, questioning my motive for asking.

"Let me sing it."

He looked over my shoulder before speaking, his brows drawn together. "Chester, what do you think?"

I turned to find the rest of the band standing behind me. I blushed not knowing how much they'd heard.

"I see no problem with that—could get an interesting reaction from the fans. Besides, I'd like to hear for myself if Bella is as great of a singer as you told us she was. No time like the present."

I felt my blush deepen. "Gee, thanks," I mumble.

"You're in the front row, right?" Chester asked, handing me a blinking clip.

"Yes, dead center."

"Put that in your hair," he instructed. "It'll help security find you."

"Thanks. I better get back out there. Edward must be frantic by now."

I turned to leave just to have Brad call me back. "Think about telling him."

"I will."

I walked quickly back, knowing I only had about five minutes. Edward didn't notice when I sat down. I was happy yet sad to find he was looking in the direction I had disappeared. He sat heavily down next to me, glancing at his watch as he pulled out his phone.

"It'll do no good, you know," I said. "I probably won't answer."

He turned. "Bella, thank God. Are you all right?"

"I am now. I just needed some air. I'll explain later."

"I need more than that."

"Okay." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I just had a little freak out moment." That was all I had time to say as the lights went completely out.

I stood and started going nuts as the music starts. I started singing along with the band.

I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me

I remembered each flash as time began to blur

Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me

And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

I felt Edward standing behind me before his arm snaked around me. I immediately melted against him. He sighed in relief as I continued singing. He had done nothing wrong and was probably thinking he had.

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean

Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes

Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between

Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide

I felt Edward's hand sliding down my stomach. I suppressed a giggle and smiled while still singing as his hand came in contact and discovered what was dangling from my navel. He obviously didn't see it earlier.

"A navel piercing?"

"No, it's fake—a magnet."

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean

Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes across this new divide

Edward continued to hold me as the band sang the next four songs. It was half way through the fifth song when a female member of security, that I was surprised I knew, approached me and whispered in my ear to come with her.

I gave Edward a reassuring smile and a wink that said nothing was wrong. I followed her around to the side of the stage and ascended the stairs.

As soon as I was back stage, I was handed a wireless microphone while the crew affixed the pack on the waist band of my jeans, right at the small of my back.

I heard Chester address the fans. "Are you having fun?" he asked and the fans went wild.

"I said are you having fun," he asked again and once again the fans went wild.

"Well, the fun is just beginning, and we have a special treat for you."

The music started the smooth transition, and he motioned for me to come out on stage. The fans went wild as I started dancing and singing. It felt great to be back up on stage performing again.

(When this began)

I had nothing to say

And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me

The energy of the fans and the band filled me with so much life. It was a potent drug, one that I could get used to if I allowed myself, but that was not the reason I requested to sing the song with them. I needed Edward to understand what I was going through, and what I couldn't express in my own words. This song encompassed everything running rampant through my head. It was enough to give a girl a headache from trying to articulate it.

(I was confused)

And I let it all out to find

That I'm not the only person with these things in mind

_And I _was_ confused. On one hand, I was still dealing with Carlie's death, and on the other, I was trying to sort out the feelings I still held for Edward. How was I supposed to mourn and love at the same time?_

(Inside of me)

But all that they can see the words revealed

Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel

_Words reveal and express so much, but I couldn't find the words I need. Edward, please understand what I'm trying to tell you. God, I have so much I want to tell you, and this is the start._

(Nothing to lose)

Just stuck, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

_I thought I had pushed everyone away, but I was wrong. Those that knew me before Carlie died are still there. They have always been, but they couldn't give me what I needed. They weren't _you_. And I was stubborn and didn't call _you_. My suffering is my own fault._

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real

I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long

(Erase all the pain till it's gone)

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real

I wanna find something I've wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

_This, Edward, is what I want you to know. I've asked for your help already, but I can see that you don't know what to do. I need help healing. I want something, someone real to cling to. I want all the pain and misery I've felt long before Carlie died to go away. More importantly, I want to belong somewhere again—to be loved by someone again. I want to be loved by you._

As these thoughts rolled through my mind, I walked toward Brad, and he turned so we were back to back. That really got the fans going nuts.

And I've got nothing to say

I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face

(I was confused)

Looking everywhere only to find

That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind

_That's not exactly true. I did hit a low point, and in a way, I did fall flat on my face. I'm not proud of what happened the day I buried Carlie. I was confused that she wasn't rushing to greet me when I got home with Charlie, Vance, and Jake in tow. She was everywhere yet nowhere. _

(So what am I)

What do I have but negativity

'Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me

_That's the question I've been trying to answer. What am I? Am I a monster because I tried to push those who have tried to help me away? I don't think so. What am I? I want to scream it until someone can answer me._

(Nothing to lose)

Nothing to gain, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

All my thoughts ceased as I crossed to the opposite side of the stage, remembering everything that I had learned in my years of study.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel

What I thought was never real

I wanna let go of the pain

I've felt so long

(Erase all the pain till it's gone)

I wanna heal, I wanna feel

Like I'm close to something real

I wanna find something I've wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

I reached out running along that side of the stage touch the hands reaching up. They were possibly wishing it was them in my place.

I will never know

Myself until I do this on my own

_Edward, I pray you understand what I'm saying. I've tried to heal on my own, but I can't. I can't find myself. Do I belong anywhere anymore?_

And I will never feel

Anything else until my wounds are healed

I will never be

Anything till I break away from me

_How? How can I break away from everything that has held me under for years? I'm drowning in my own misery, and that's all I could feel. I'm slowly starting to feel again, feel things for _you.

I will break away

I'll find myself today

_I am starting to find myself again, in you, but I'm scared. I am afraid to step out of my comfort zone, what I have known for five years. I'm broken and could easily shatter._

I wanna heal, I wanna feel

What I thought was never real

I wanna let go of the pain

I've felt so long

(Erase all the pain till it's gone)

I found myself dead center on the stage and kneeled, still rocking out. I looked straight at Edward, who had a look of pure amazement on his face, and captured his eyes. I hoped he understood what I was trying to convey. I could've chosen any song, but I chose this one for a reason—its message was powerful.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel

Like I'm close to something real

I wanna find something I've wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

I got back up and crossed the stage to where I had begun.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel

Like I am somewhere I belong

I wanna heal, I wanna feel

Like I am somewhere I belong

Somewhere I belong

I took a bow before walking off the stage. One of the stagehands took the mic from me and handed me their headset. I put it up to my ear. "Damn, Bella, I forgot how you know how to work the fans," Brad said.

"Great voice," Chester said and the others agreed.

I handed the headset back and turned, only to be faced with the guys' manager. "Wow! You looking to get into show business?" he asks, handing me a bottle of water.

"Not at the moment. I have a great job." I took a big gulp of water.

"You give me a call if you ever change your mind." He handed me his card before walking away.

I finished the water off as I followed the same security guard back to my seat. The fans in the front row all laid a hand on me as I walked by before turning back to watch the show. I tried not to cringe at the attention.

Before I stopped in front of Edward, his arms were around me, hugging me to him as he picked me up. I was all giggles. I think he got the message, but I wasn't sure. After he set me back down on my feet, I turned my back to him.

He whispered in my ear as he pulled me flush against me. "I was speechless when you walked out on stage. I didn't know what was going on. But wow! Bella, you were amazing." He squeezed me gently before singing along again.

All too soon, the show was over, and the lights came back on. I wished they would do one more encore, but I knew it was over. I reached for my sweater only to find it missing. I turned and started searching the ground for it.

"Looking for something?"

I pivoted to see Edward pulling it out of a bag.

I just started laughing. Of course he would have it.


	9. Does She Want Me?

Chapter 9 — Does She Want Me?

EPOV

When the security guard had approached Bella, I thought for sure something was wrong. However, when she smiled and winked at me before following the guard, my worries seemed insignificant. Something was definitely going on, though.

My jaw dropped when I saw her walking out on the stage with a mic in hand. I had no time to process what was going on, as she immediately started singing. I fumbled for my phone and started recording. The way she moved on stage and how everyone was reacting to her was freaking amazing. Soon she was kneeling right in front of me, and my eyes were instantly glued to hers. It felt like I was staring straight into her soul, and she, mine.

_I wanna heal, I wanna feel_

_Like I'm close to something real_

_I wanna find something I've wanted all along_

_Somewhere I belong_

I swallowed hard when realization hit me on what she was telling me. She wanted more than just to heal, she wanted to belong again, wanted something real, but more importantly, I felt she wanted, dare I even think it, _me_. Was that her entire message? I couldn't be sure if it was if she was trying to communicate something through the song or just singing it, but I took it as if she was speaking to me.

As soon as she was out of sight, I sent the video to Mom, Dad, and Charlie. _Check this out,_ was all I typed. I had just put my phone away when I saw Bella approaching. I grabbed her and hugger her to me, lifting her off the ground. I smiled when her giggle reached my ears. I set her back down and when she turned her back to me, I pulled her flush against my chest, whispering in her ear, "I was speechless when you walked out on stage. I didn't know what was going on. But wow! Bella, you were amazing." I squeezed her gently before singing along again.

~~ SIB ~~

"Looking for something?" I asked when she started looking around for her sweater. I pulled it out of the souvenir bag, holding it up.

Her laughter was, once again, music to my ears. She reached and snatched the sweater out of my hands before slipping it on. I was sad that she put it back on, but glad because it would keep the perverts away from her.

I took hold of her hand as we started making our way through the stadium. I didn't want to take a chance of losing her in the crowd. I soon felt her squeeze my hand in appreciation and it was getting tighter. I glanced over at her and the same fear that touched her eyes earlier was back. _Crap!_ I pulled her into an alcove in the corridor across from an exit as I remembered she hated large crowds.

"Bella," I said once we were out of the crowd. "I'm so sorry. I forgot," I whispered in her ear after pulling her against me. I rubbed her back, hoping to ease her fear away.

BPOV

I didn't expected Edward to remember about my fear, he surely hadn't when we left the backstage area, but when he pulled me into the alcove and into his arms, apologizing, I was instantly relieved. Sure the crowd was still near, but I was out of it.

"It's okay, Edward, I don't except you to remember everything," I whispered back. "Plus, I thought I was over my fear."

"We won't leave until you are ready. And I remember so much about you. It just took me some time to remember this small, but big fact," he said, bringing one hand up to cup my face and letting his thumb brush lazily over my cheek.

I shivered at his gentle and caring touch. I looked up at him, and what I saw took my breath away. His eyes were soft and sparkling. He didn't take his eyes off me as he leaned closer. I knew he was looking for any signs that he should retreat. I smiled encouragingly, hoping it reached my eyes before I closed them. I wanted him to kiss me.

Time seemed to stop as I waited in anticipation. I sighed when his lips finally brushed against mine. It was gentle and brief, a mere whisper of a kiss. I kept my eyes closed, relishing in what the fleeting kiss had stirred up within me. I was slowly beginning to open my eyes when his lips brushed mine again, a little firmer this time. I moved my hand against his chest, resting it right above his heart, as I moved my lips returning his kiss. The kiss remained sweet and gentle, and filled with what we couldn't say just yet.

It was in no way heated, but we were both breathless when I pulled away. He rested his forehead against mine, trying to catch his breath. Neither of us said anything, and didn't even need to, the kiss had said it all.

"Move along, folks," someone said. "The concert's over."

I turned my head slightly giving the elderly officer a smile before looking past him. The corridor was nearly empty. I knew I would be fine with those who were lingering. I stepped away from Edward, slipping my hand in his as I did so. I started walking, with him a step behind. He was quick to close the distance between us and freed his hand from mine. He snaked his arm around me, drawing me snuggly to his side.

I couldn't get over our kiss; as innocent as it was, it spoke volumes. My memory of our kiss last evening was nothing compared to the one we had just shared. There was something about the last kiss that was puzzling me, and I couldn't figure what it was exactly. I was still deep in thought when we got to Edward's car, and I didn't realize he was holding the door open for me until he spoke.

"Bella, are you going to get in?" he inquired.

"Huh," I said, snapping out of my thoughts and looked at him.

He motioned to the inside of the car. I felt a blush creep up my face, but the darkness of the parking garage shielded it from his view as I climbed in with a slight smile.

"Where'd you go?" he questioned after he got in.

"I was just thinking," I replied, falling silent again. I was glad he didn't press me. I closed my eyes as he started the car. Even with the nap, I was still tired after shopping with Alice, worrying about what he was going to think about what I was wearing, and from enjoyment of the concert. I was soon asleep.

"_Mommy," Carlie said with a giggle, "no tickling."_

_I continued my assault on her sides, earning me more giggles as she tried to get away from me. I wouldn't let her._

"_Mommy, please stop," she pleaded._

"_For a kiss," I replied._

_She gave me a big kiss on the cheek and a mini-sized bear hug._

"_I love you, Mommy."_

"_And I love you, Carlie. Now it's time to get ready. Grandpa is going to be here soon, and then we are going to take a trip."_

_She got excited and jumped out of bed. She was a curious child and loved when I took her to new places. I laughed as I watched her throw the clothes I had just folded onto the floor looking for the shirt she wanted. She finally found the top—a yellow Disney princess t-shirt that had Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella and bearing the phrase _Once Upon a Princess_ on it. I walked over to her closet, pulling out a pair of jeans and a light pink long sleeved top. I handed her the rest of her outfit. While she changed, having refused my help, I refolded the tops on the floor. I was just getting out a pair of socks when I heard a thump._

_"Carlie," I said, turning around. She was just as much of a klutz as me. I saw her lying on the floor not moving, not even her back was going up and down._

"_Carlie," I screamed panicked. I was on the floor and next to her fast, dropping the socks I had gotten out for her. I first checked to see if she was breathing and found she was struggling. I was checking her for other injuries when the doorbell rang. I couldn't leave her, thinking if it was Charlie, he'd use his key when I didn't answer._

"_Bella, Carlie," he yelled as he entered the house. I could hear him walking down the hall. "There you two are," he said, coming into Carlie's room. "Are you about—"_

_He stopped suddenly when I looked up with tears streaming down my face. "What happened?" he asked, taking two huge steps kneeling on the other side of my daughter._

"_I don't know. She's barely breathing. I don't know what to do, Dad." I only called Charlie _Dad_ when I was afraid, and, at the moment, I was scared shitless._

_He pulled out his cell, dialing. He spoke quickly and concisely, giving the dispatcher the needed information. Why hadn't I thought to call for help?_

"_An ambulance is on its way, Bells," he said, barely keeping his emotions hidden. He loved Carlie very much, and I knew he was hurting as much as me. "I'll go wait out front." He gave my hand a squeeze. "You haven't moved her, have you?"_

"_Turned her over, that's all," I croaked out, my voice filled with fear. "Just in case—" I motioned to Carlie as he left the room._

_Three minutes later, two paramedics rushed into the room. They were asking me questions left and right. All I could tell them was_—_I didn't know. Dad left with one paramedic to help him with the gurney, while the other started taking her vitals and put in an IV line._

_As soon as she was on the gurney, they put an oxygen mask on her. She looked so fragile at that moment. "Carlie, I love you, honey," I said, tears still streaming down my face as I followed them out of the house._

"Bella," said a voice in my ear gently. I blinked as my vision came into focus. Edward was looking down at me as the back of his hand brushed along my cheek. I could feel moisture on my face.

I threw my arms around Edward, burying my face in the crook of his neck. He lifted me out of the car. I heard the door shut before hearing the double beep as he locked the car. He began walking slowly, carrying me as I silently cried.

I heard him ask someone if they would mind unlocking his front door for him before thanking them. Soon, I was being sat down on a soft surface, and Edward freed himself from my hold. I was too distraught to stop him, allowing him to take off my heels and sweater. He left for a minute before coming back and handing me one of his shirts. "Here," he said, kissing my temple then turned and left the room.

I stood, divesting my jeans and top, before pulling on the top Edward had given me—it was long and brushed my knees. I turned, seeing I was in a bedroom. I pulled back the blanket climbing in bed, not covering up; I just pulled my knees to my chest trying to hold myself together. I closed my eyes, seeing Carlie laying helpless on the gurney again.

I was about to start crying again, when I felt the covers being drawn over me. The bed creaked as Edward sat on the other side before laying down spooning me as best as he could. His hand lightly rubbed up and down my arm. Slowly, I began to uncurl myself. I was glad I wasn't alone tonight. Pulling Edward's hand, I placed it on my stomach, hoping he would be able to keep the nightmares at bay.

**A/N: Thanks to Starpower31/Bella and GetDrunkOnVictory for their assistance in editing this chapter.**


	10. Embarrassing Situation

Chapter 10 — Embarrassing Situation

EPOV

When I came to a stop outside my condo—well more like my house, the Home Owners Association took care of lawn maintenance for a small fee—Bella was sound asleep. I sat there a moment longer watching her, noticing right away that she was crying. I was deeply concerned as I got out of the car. Quickly walking around and opening the passenger door, I leaned in and whispered, "Bella" as I released the seat belt.

Her eyes popped open, and she instantly threw her arms around me, both catching me by surprise and burying her head against the crook of my neck. I could feel her tears wetting my shirt as I gathered her up into my arms. I bumped the car door with my hip, closing it. As I walked to the front door, I hit the lock button on my car keys twice.

"I need to set you down to unlock the door," I murmured near her ear. Her hold on me tightened when I tried; she wasn't going to let go.

"Okay, I won't." I closed my eyes briefly, willing my arms and legs not to give out. I was in shape, but I wasn't used to carrying, let alone holding, anything this far and long.

She relaxed her hold as I stared at the front door, trying to figure out how I was going to open it without dropping Bella. I could hear footsteps on the stairs behind me. When I turned, I saw my neighbor—the neighborhood watch leader and my good friend from high school—Eric Yorkie.

"Saw you pull up, Edward. Need some help?"

"Yes," I said, relieved. "Could you unlock the door for me?"

He took my keys and opened the door, allowing me to walk in first and then turning on the entryway light. "Have a good night. I'll lock up for you," he said as I started up the stairs.

"Thanks," I said, continuing up the stairs and straight to my bedroom. I sat Bella on the bed, and though I hated it, I freed myself from her grip. I kneeled down in front of her, taking off her heels before sliding off her sweater. I stood with both items in my hands and placed them on my dresser, out of the way. I then opened one of the drawers, glad I hadn't returned the long t-shirts Mom had bought me.

When I returned, I frowned at the sight before me. Bella was so pale and her eyes, which had been sparkling an hour earlier, lacked that luster now. I refused to leave the house to retrieve her bag; I would do that in the morning. She needed me to remain close.

"Here, you can put this on to sleep in," I said, handing her the top and kissing her temple. I left the room, closing the bathroom door. I opened the linen closet and pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms. When Mom suggested I store my pajamas here, I thought she was crazy but went along with her, not really wanting to argue; that was four years ago. I shook my head, silently thanking her.

When I reentered the room, Bella was curled in a ball on the bed. I covered her and turned off the light. I pulled the covers slightly down on my side and sat down heavily, running a hand over my face and through my hair. I, once again, didn't know what to do; this was getting old, but I couldn't blame Bella. Charlie, Mom, and Dad all told me that I needed to be patient and just be there for Bella.

I lay down, rolling on my side and spooning Bella as best I could. I ran my hand lightly up and down her arm, letting her know I was there and hoping she would relax. After several long minutes, she slowly began to uncurl, pulling on my hand and resting it on her stomach. I heard her sigh sadly and then nothing but her slow, even breathing.

Eight hours later, I woke with Bella's head lying on my chest. I smiled to myself, thinking that I could get used to waking up like this. I wrapped my free arm around her and held her for the longest time before I had to get up. My thoughts were going south fast. Slowly, I slipped out of bed without waking Bella.

I grabbed a pair of jeans and my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle graphic t-shirt, as well as a pair of underwear, before going into the bathroom. I left the door ajar and started the shower before disrobing. I stepped into the ice cold spray. I stood there for about two minutes before slowly heating up the water. I was rinsing my hair when the bathroom door opened, and I froze. Luckily, the wall was high enough to cover me from the chest down.

"Edward?" Bella asked.

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to calm myself. "I'll be out soon," I squeaked out, turning my gaze on her to be rewarded with a rosy blush when realization hit her.

I groaned once when she shut the door. I thought I would be out of the shower and dressed by the time she woke up. My hand reached for the faucet and turned it to cold. I shivered as the spray immediately cooled my suddenly overheated skin. Turning off the shower, I stepped out and grabbed a towel, drying quickly. I dressed just as fast.

Before leaving the bathroom, I opened the linen closet and got out another towel and washcloth, placing both on the sink. I placed a few personal items in the shower for her; I'm not sure how they got into my bathroom, or who had put them in here, but I silently thanked whoever it was.

I reentered my bedroom to find the bed made and Bella sitting on it with her head in her hands. I kneeled in front of her and lifted her chin so her eyes met mine.

BPOV

I was sitting on the bed, having just finished making it, when I heard Edward open the bathroom door. I was still embarrassed about walking in while he was in the shower. Sure, I hadn't seen anything, but just knowing he was naked was enough to arouse me. I felt like wanton with the thoughts that entered my mind. I didn't want to think about Edward in the … _Stop it,_ I chided myself.

Soon I was looking straight into his eyes. "Don't beat yourself up, Bella," he said sweetly, not the least bit accusing. "The shower is yours. I left a towel and washcloth on the sink. I'll go get your bag from the car and will put it just inside the door."

He was being too sweet not mentioning what just happened.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Come downstairs when you're done. I'll have breakfast ready," he said, standing and walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.

I stared at the door for a moment before standing and heading to the bathroom. Heat radiated through my face and cheeks as I entered. It took me a minute to figure out how to turn on the shower. Once the water began to fall, I took off the white t-shirt and my bra and panties, letting everything pool to the floor.

I stepped back into the large shower, closing the glass door before looking around. Two pink bottles sat on the stone bench. I picked up one; the label said that it was strawberry shampoo, leaving the other. It was the brand I had used in high school. Behind the second pink bottle was a familiar purple bottle; picking it up, I found it was the freesia body wash—again the brand—I had once used. I reached up and touched my face, finding it was wet with tears. _How__?_ I thought. _How had these personal items gotten here?_

After placing the bottle back down, I stepped under the warm spray and let the water relax my tense muscles. I picked up the shampoo, squirting a small amount into my hand. The familiar fragrance made me smile and think about happier times—times I had spent with Edward. I had changed my shampoo and body wash after leaving Edward. I couldn't stand the thought that he would no longer be there to smell their fragrances coming off of me.

I sighed as I finished my shower, reaching to shut off the water and stepping out of the stall. I dried off and then wrapped the towel around me. I stuck my head out the door to make sure Edward wasn't in the bedroom before exiting. I don't want another uncomfortable situation. I looked around the room, finding my bag and the shopping bag sitting on the floor next to the door.

Picking both bags up, I placed them on the bed. Opening the overnight bag first, I found a wrapped gift and card on the very top. I placed them to the side, shaking my head. _What had Esme put in my bag?_ I pulled out a pair of stone washed jeans and a top from the shopping bag and undergarments from the overnight bag, but they weren't anything that I had packed. I went back to the bag and there were no others to be found. _Esme!_ I yelled in my mind.

What I had was a matching set of undergarments—a lace-trimmed padded bra, purple with black flowers, and matching panties. I groaned as I put them on. It wasn't that I objected to Esme buying me things; it was the lace that I minded. I removed the tags on my jeans and green and pink silk kaftan top with floral and leaf print. I ran a brush through my hair before venturing out of the room in search of the kitchen.

**A/N: Special thanks to Jennej, Remylebeauishot, torisurfergirl, and Twilightmom505 for their help in editing this chapter.**


	11. Edward's Heart

Chapter 11 — Edward's Heart BPOV

I was halfway down the hall when I remember the gift I'd taken out of my overnight bag. I turned, hurrying back to the bedroom while wondering what it was. Going to the bed, I picked up the card. It was an unadorned, stiff card that said:

_Bella,_

_This is one of the many gifts that I had sent you for your birthday that you returned to me. I want you to have it. Read nothing more into it—it only means I care for you deeply, always have and always will._

_Edward_

I was a little on edge as I reached for the gold wrapped box with a pink bow. Scared of what it might be, I first put it to my ear—I didn't know why I did this, it's not like Edward would wrap anything dangerous. I didn't hear anything, so I gave it a little shake, still nothing. Tearing the paper and bow off, I was confronted with a white box with the words "Le Vian" etched on it. _Le Vian_? Opening the box, I uncovered a long thin black velvet box which was surrounded by white and gold flecked tissue paper. Velvet boxes usually meant jewelry. Was "Le Vian" a brand of jewelry?

I gasped, my hand going to my lips after opening velvet box. Nestled inside was a stunning, and breathtakingly beautiful, double heart necklace—a gold heart cage with diamond chips surrounding a smaller light strawberry pink heart. Snapping the box closed, I flew out of the room in search of Edward to give him the necklace back; I couldn't accept it. I stopped dead in my tracks before I even reached the stairs. What had he written? I tried to recall what the card said. The phrases "one of the many gifts that I sent you" and "you returned to me" hitting me hard. There was something else I was missing. I stood there thinking, and I gasped again. He had sent this necklace to me as a birthday present. I didn't want anything from him and sent every gift and letter back unopened.

I smiled to myself as I as I made my way down the stairs. This gift confirmed that Edward still cared about me. The fact that he didn't return it made me feel ashamed that I ignored his attempts to reconnect with me. My grin widen as I decided to keep it, and I got lost in my memories of the times I spent with Edward—from grade school to before I left. One particular memory stood out among them all. Dad and I were seeing the Cullens off at the airport—they were heading off to a family reunion in Chicago. Edward had really wanted me to go, but I had scheduled a college tour the same weekend, not knowing about the reunion until a day later.

"_I wish you were going with us, Bella," he whispered as he hugged me for the tenth time once we got to the gate._

"_So do I," I whispered back as he rested his forehead against mine with a sigh._

_We were silent and in our own little world. Carlisle's chuckle broke us out of our bubble._

_"Time to board, son."_

_Edward kissed me. "I'll call when we land."_

_I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my hand._

_"Bella, look after my heart. I've left it with you."_

The necklace I had in my hand symbolized what he said so long ago. I smiled to myself as my left foot made contact with the ground floor; it slid forward, and I was falling backward. I shrieked as I landed on the stairs, hitting my head hard enough to see stars. Amazingly I didn't knock myself out. I was just sitting up when Edward came rushing around the corner.

"What happened?" he asked, noticing I was rubbing the back of my head.

I just started laughing hard when I noticed a bunched up rug. The fact that I was fine, save the knot forming on the back of my head, the situation was hilarious.

EPOV

"Bella?" I kneeled in front of her, my face scrunching up in concern. I didn't see what was so funny.

"Rug … foot … attention … klutz … remember," she said between giggles.

I looked around and saw the small rug my mother had placed at the bottom of the stairs a good two feet away, bunched up. I had to admit it was funny and chuckled a little. I was glad she was laughing. Once her laughter died down, I asked, "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, just a bump on the head."

"Bella, you could have a concussion."

"And I'm sure you'll be keeping an eye on me," she said, getting up.

"We'll leave after we ear, and hopefully, we can catch Dad before he leaves for work. Let's get you some ice," I said, offering her my hand helping her up.

"First, would you mind," she said, handing me the velvet necklace box I had wrapped so long ago.

I took the box and carefully removed the necklace. Out of all the gifts, this necklace was one of a kind, and I couldn't return it since I had won it three years ago. "Turn around and lift up your hair," I requested. I smiled as I put it on her; I had expected to fight her over what I had placed in her bag, but she surprised me. I leaned in and kissed her neck where the clasp rested, feeling her shiver.

I started walking toward the kitchen again with Bella following.

"Holy cow!" she exclaimed. I turned to seeing her taking in everything.

With huge ass grin on my face, I went over to freezer and pulled out a cold pack my mom had insisted I buy.

_"You never know when you will need one, Edward."_

I shook my head. Mom, five, me, zero. I would have to thank her again. I had called her as I started breakfast. She informed me she had Charlie arrange for her to be transported to my house while Bella and I were at the concert. She left the personal items I found the bathroom and other things, which I didn't even want to think about. I had just gotten off the phone when Bella shrieked.

"Here," I said, handing her the towel-wrapped cold pack.

"Thanks. This is an amazing kitchen, and from what I have seen of the rest of the house, it's really nice. How many rooms?"

I had Bella in mind when I started looking for houses four years ago. Before that, I was living in an apartment in the heart of Seattle. As soon as I saw this kitchen, I pictured her and me preparing a meal together. Sure, I hadn't known at the time if I'd ever see Bella again, but I couldn't help the hope I held onto. "Five bedrooms, five full baths, two half baths, kitchen, study, two family rooms, home theater, and a paneled pub with a game area," I stated. "Not to mention an outdoor kitchen with firepit."

As I spoke, I watched as her jaw dropped more and more. "Oh," she managed to get out before falling silent. I turned and prepared a plate for her, placing it in front of her before preparing one for me.

Once we were finished with our omelets, sausage, and toast, I showed her around. "I use the largest of the five bedrooms, though all the rooms are furnished. I'll admit it took a while, but each room is uniquely decorated."

"Esme," she guessed.

"Yes. She was here every weekend for four months. Drove Dad and me nuts with fabric samples, paint palettes, and furniture catalogues, but we accommodated her."

"Where's your piano?" she asked, turning to look at me.

"In Forks," I said sadly. I'd already told her I didn't play anymore and decided to just leave it there.

"Oh."

I lifted her chin, so I could look her in the eyes. "It's not your fault I stopped playing. I just got so busy and had no time." I gave her my crooked smile, and she smiled in return. "Now, I'll grab your bag ,and we can start back."

I was just turning to head upstairs when she reached out and took my hand. I looked back at her, and she looked unsure about saying something more. I was about to ask what was wrong when she spoke.

"Thanks," she said before adding, "for being there for me last night and not asking about it this morning."

"Think nothing of it, and I wouldn't pry," I said, cupping her face briefly before turning again. I picked up the house phone on my way up.

"Edward," Carlisle answered a moment later. "Is something wrong? Your mother told me you called earlier and I didn't expect to hear from you until you two started back."

"Bella fell and hit her head, so we are heading back now."

"You sound worried."

"I am. After I rounded the corner from the kitchen she started laughing."

"To me it sounds like she is fine."

"I would just feel better…" I started, but he interrupted me.

"Edward, I would be more than happy to look at her, but I don't think it's necessary. Enjoy your day in Seattle. Take her to the zoo or the art museum and out to lunch."

I sighed. "All right," I said, rubbing the back on my neck. I knew I was overreacting and glad Dad had called me out. "See you tonight then."

**A/N:Thanks to Twilightmom505 and torisurfergirl for editing this chapter. Oh, you might have noticed that "In the last chapter" has disappeared from the start of each chapter, I've decided to discontinue the summaries.**


	12. Sparks Fly

Chapter 12 — Sparks Fly

BPOV

I really didn't want to head back to Forks so soon, but if I remembered correctly, and I was pretty sure that I was, Edward was stubborn and wouldn't budge. He had this really concerned look on his face all through breakfast, and it remained as he showed me around his house. Boy was it large; I had to wonder how he kept up with the cleaning—it would take me all week!

As soon as he was out of sight, I returned to the kitchen. Picking up Edward's cell, I sent Esme a quick message asking her for help. A moment or two later, she replied saying Carlisle had taken care of Edward and that I should enjoy the day. Right, enjoy the day. How?

I sighed, giving myself a mental lecture as I closed my eyes. _You will get through this day without shedding tears._

I felt my hair being brushed off my shoulder before Edward's hand rested there as his other hand laid at my right hip and started to snake around my waist. I smiled tightly at the care he was taking. He would've taken me by surprise if I hadn't heard his approach. As his arm slowly continued its way around my waist, he softly kissed the side of my neck. _Holy cow!_ I shivered at his gentle touch.

"We're not heading back to Forks just yet," he whispered in my ear. "I thought we could go to the zoo and out to lunch before heading back. How's that sound?"

As he spoke, his fingers drew lazy circles over my stomach. I could feel my heart racing. I hadn't felt like this since high school—when I was with Edward. I had dated, but no guy could bring about this heart-pounding-in-anticipation reaction out in me.

I _mmm_'d as he began nibbling on my neck. I was so lost in the sensation that I hadn't realized he stopped, still waiting for an answer until he chuckled in my ear.

"Sorry," I said. "Um," I started only to be cut off.

EPOV

When I came back downstairs, Bella was nowhere to be found. I decided to check the kitchen, first. Bella was standing there with her eyes closed, a serene look on her face. My memory of her like this was nothing compared to what I was seeing in this moment. She was even more beautiful than I could ever dream up. I wished my camera was close—I really wanted to capture this moment. I continued walking slowly into the kitchen and came to stand behind her. I reached up and brushed aside her hair, allowing my hand to come to a rest on her shoulder as my other hand wrapped around her. I felt her shiver as my lips brushed the side of her neck. I smiled. I still had the touch.

I about lost it when she moaned as I gently nibbled on her neck as I waited for her answer. I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped me. She was distracted and, not to sound conceited, I knew that is was my doing.

She spluttered.

"The zoo, lunch," I reminded in a whisper.

She nodded her agreement.

"All right." I released her from my hold and took a step back. I immediately missed her being in my arms. "Let's get going." I offered her my hand.

It took Bella a moment or two to take my hand, and as soon as she did, a familiar spark raced up my hand and straight to my heart. I heard Bella's surprised gasp, so I knew she felt it too. It was such an innocent touch and wasn't the first time our hands had touched either. I couldn't really explain why or how it happened, but she was slowly pulling me toward her. I went willingly, looking into her eyes the whole way. Her eyes were incomprehensible and yet so decipherable—incomprehensible because there was such a swirl and depth of emotion, but decipherable because I could clearly see desire burning in them. She _wanted _me, but I had a feeling she wouldn't let herself give into to that desire. I'd take what I could get until she surrendered to what we both obviously wanted—each other.

We molded against each other, lips upon lips. The kiss was sensual, and at that moment, nothing else existed in the world but her and me. It was slow and meaningful, feather soft at times. I couldn't help but let her feel through the kiss how beautiful she was. I focused on her by running my fingers through her hair while my left hand caressed her arm. I wanted her to know that I wasn't going anywhere.

When she pulled away to catch her breath, I notice her eyes were hooded, and her face was flushed. "We should go," she said after a moment.

"Or we could stay," I countered, placing my forehead against hers.

"No, we should go."

I smiled sadly; it was clear she wasn't ready to surrender. "Anything for you, Bella." I stepped away from her again, offering her my hand.

She shook her head and brushed passed me toward the front door. I followed still in a daze from that shared kiss. _God! I wanted her, and now I knew she wanted me too._

BPOV

_What the hell was that? _I thought, gasping. I hadn't expected whatever it was. All too soon, I was kissing Edward. It was different from the previous two we'd shared. It immediately took my breath away, and I couldn't get enough of him. I wanted more; I wanted him—all of him. But I was scared, too, and I knew I had to step away before we got carried away, and ended up upstairs wrapped in each other's arms—not that that was a bad idea. I broke the kiss, needing air, and looked up at him through my lashes. He was flushed and panting. I had to put more distance between us. I said the only thing that came to mind—that we should go. I was surprised when he said we could stay instead. He was not helping me at the moment. Luckily, when I said we should go again, he stepped away from me.

He offered me his hand again, and again, he wasn't helping; I shook my head and walked by him into the front room and right out the front door. I couldn't chance touching him right now.

**A/N: Thanks to Twilightmom505 and torisurfergirl for editing this chapter.**


	13. The Storm Within

Chapter 13 — The Storm Within

***** Warning: This chapter contains mature and/or graphic content. If you are not over 18 or are sensitive to such things, then do not continue. The next chapter will have a summary of things that happened in this chapter. *****

BPOV

As soon as I was out the door and standing in the front yard, I took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. It was dark and menacing, just like I was feeling inside. A loud clap of thunder made me jump right before the skies opened up, and it started pouring. I let out a frustrated scream as I asked the menacing sky "why?" I was still looking up at the sky as purple lighting streaked across it. I could care less that I might get sick; I just couldn't go back inside. I was confused. I felt like I was betraying Carlie's memory by wanting to move forward with my life—with Edward—and no longer mourn her, to have her present in every thought. She'd been the most important person in my life, and I didn't want her memory to be pushed aside. But I wanted—hell, I didn't know what I wanted—no, I did know. I _wanted_ Edward. I wanted him in so many ways.

I knew Edward wouldn't let me forget Carlie. That wasn't the problem. The problem was that I didn't know if I was ready to take things to the next level with him. I had been hurt twice by guys I thought I could trust. But I knew, deep down, that I could trust Edward. He had never nor would he ever hurt me. I collapsed to my knees, mud splattering onto my jeans and top, in a fit of tears. _What was I going to do?_

"Bella," I heard Edward yell as he approached, coming around me. He crouched in front of me and tried to pull to him.

Despite what I wanted, I pushed him away. I needed to come to grips with the surging storm of emotions I was experiencing. I didn't understand where they were coming from. I'd never felt this level of emotional turmoil, not even when Carlie died. Sure I had been an emotional wreck, but this was somehow different: more intense, less painful. It confused the hell out of me. I had been crying ever since I returned to Forks after sixteen years. I was so sick of weeping. I swiped at my eyes. As the lighting flashed and the thunder clapped, I was torn in two—Carlie or Edward?

_Boom!_

Carlie's memory was so much a part of me.

_Flash!_

But, Edward was also a part of me.

_Boom! Flash!_

Live in the past with Carlie, or live in the present with Edward?

_Urgh!_

"Bella," he said, running a hand through his drenched hair.

I chanced a look at Edward. His jeans were soaked and mud-covered as he kneeled in front of me, but what spoke volumes were his eyes. They were sad and asking what he could do to help. He reached out with one hand and touched my cheek; his warmth made me shiver.

He sighed. "Come back inside. I don't want you to get sick."

He stood and started back toward the house, but I didn't move a muscle.

"Please," he pleaded, holding his hand out to me. He didn't move toward me or house.

Finally, I stood and walked to him, and when he wrapped an arm around me, I didn't push him away; instead, I leaned into him. We entered the mudroom, and he handed me a towel.

"Take off those wet and muddy clothes and head up to the shower. I'll throw everything in the wash."

Edward grabbed his own towel and then left me standing there, walking around the wall that divided the mudroom and laundry area. I quickly stripped and rung out my dripping hair before wrapping the towel around me. I walked out of the small room without a backward glance and made my way upstairs.

I was ashamed of my behavior. Edward didn't deserve how I was treating him. I didn't deserve him; I was too messed up, and yet, he was right by my side.

I was on auto-pilot as I walked through his bedroom to the bathroom. I didn't remember turning on the shower but relished the warmth of the streaming water, not realizing how cold I was. As soon I could feel my fingers again, I turned off the shower. Two towels were on the sink when I stepped out. How had he gotten them in here without me hearing him? I dried off with one and then wrapped the other around me, wondering what I was going to put on; I'd only brought the one outfit, and I didn't see anything extra in my overnight bag. Maybe I could find a shirt and a pair of sweats in Edward's closet.

I walked out of the bathroom to find Edward in the bedroom in just a pair of lounge pants. He looked up at me, and an unfamiliar expression clouded his face. I couldn't even begin to describe it, but I think it was the same as what was written on my face as I took in his sculpted chest—_desire._ I swallowed hard as he moved toward me.

"Bella, I'm sick of this," Edward said huskily, indicating the two of us and the space between us. "No more dancing around."

I only had a towel around me and my damp hair was hanging around my bare shoulders. I turned to fly back into the bathroom only to have him stop me mid-flight by catching my arm.

Lightning flashed. I didn't want Edward to see the conflict in my eyes—the past or the present. I couldn't help thinking of Raoul and how he treated me. It was a fleeting thought, gone almost as soon as it entered my mind. A crash of thunder resounded.

"I can see the desire in your eyes." He was gentle as he pulled me forward.

I was paralyzed with—I don't know—_fear_? He drew me up hard against his chest, and something unfamiliar pulsed through my body. I couldn't even begin to know what it was, but it wasn't fear.

"Wh-what are you doing?" I asked, my voice shaking. I tipped my chin up when I felt warm fingers brush my damp bangs from my brow. I brought my hand up, pushing weakly against his bare chest. I could feel his heart beating erratically. "Let me go, Edward, _please_."

My eyes widened when his head dipped. Had he not heard me? His lips stopped a small distance from my own. I could feel the heat of him against my overly sensitive lips and smell the sweetness of a berry wine he must have drank on his breath. Again, I flashed back to four years ago, but the memory vanished before it could fully form when his lips whispered over my brow. This was different. This was Edward. He wouldn't force me.

_He won't let me forget Carlie_, I repeated to myself.

His mouth ghosted near my ear, eliciting a moan from me.

_Holy cow,_ _what is he making me feel?_ I thought frantically, trying to recall if Edward had ever made me feel before. But then, I felt the first timid touch of his mouth to mine, felt the first overwhelming waves of the desire I'd been denying, and all thoughts of Carlie and Raoul were beyond me.

I felt his free hand slip around my waist before sliding down to cup the round curve of my bottom. My upper body was already pressed tightly against him, but he was tugging my hips closer as he tried to deepen the kiss by swiping his tongue across my lips.

I was unprepared for the feelings that surged through me by being pressed fully against him, feeling him intimately—I've never been held this way. When he ended the kiss for a much needed breath, I dislodged myself from his hold, though the hand on my arm remained. I stumbled back a bit, my back coming in contact with the wall. I spared a brief glance at the warm fingers curled around my upper arm.

"I don't want this," I whimpered, mostly to myself and not entirely convinced.

_Was it what I wanted? Yes, it was. From the moment I left the stage last night, I knew I wanted to be closer to Edward—to be intimate with him. I was afraid of being rejected, but clearly, he wanted the same with me. Those thoughts were why I rushed out the house. Why I had pushed him away when the downpour was washing over us_.

Lightning flashed.

_I wanted him. Oh, how I wanted _him_. How I wanted the _intimacy_ he was offering._

"You're a terrible liar, Bella. I can see the truth in your eyes." He tugged me toward him again. The fingers of right hand splayed across his chest, trying, vainly, to stop whatever was happening. But, this time, my palm came alive at the feel of his muscled chest. I looked at my hand as if it belonged to someone else—surely it didn't belong to me as it seemed to enjoy the feel of him voluntarily. The smell of the berry wine increased each time he exhaled. Confused, I glanced up only to be captured by his soul-piercing green eyes.

_Want._

The fingers of his right hand slipped behind my neck as his nose grazed my cheek before burying his head in the hollow against my shoulder. He started nibbling on my collarbone, making his way slowly to the nape of my neck first and then to the hollow behind my ear.

I thought I was slowly going mad. And as much as I wanted him to stop, the more he was making me want. I had never experienced anything so temptingly intoxicating, never wanted another so badly, and I didn't know how to express that need.

His lips were tantalizingly slow as they traced their way along my jaw. "Just let yourself feel. Don't think, just feel," he whispered, seemingly having read my mind earlier.

I clutched the towel tighter, securing it, as his lips made contact with mine again. They were slowly demanding me to respond, to open up, to let go, to prove him right—that I wanted this as much as him. I shut out the little voice in my head that was saying Edward was going to hurt me like Raoul and Seth. As a loud, rambling thunderclap sounded, I let go of the towel, my hand going straight to his hair. The only thought I had was _the past be damned. I wanted him; I was going to let myself have him._ I pressed myself against him. I gasped into his mouth as the fingers of his hand left my arm and tenderly made their down my arm to my waist.

"Don't push me away," he whispered huskily against my lips.

I couldn't if even I wanted to. My body had surrendered, and I wasn't about to turn back.

His left hand had moved from my waist to my right breast through the towel. His thumb flicked at the nipple beneath it. A low groan rumbled in his throat as it hardened against his fingertips. His tongue licked my full lower lip. Pulling back, he gazed into my eyes as he rested his forehead against mine.

His breath seared my senses. Again, I was lost in his eyes as I struggled to comprehend the sensations his touch was causing within me. His touch boiled my blood, and I was about to free myself from him again, thinking he had changed his mind, when his mouth crashed down on mine again, deeply insistent. One hand held my head steady when I wanted to turn away, while his other hand left my breast, circling my waist and pulling me closer again. He crushed me to him as though he was trying to meld my slender softness into his hard firm length. Before I knew it, he stepped away from me, sweeping me up into his arms, never breaking the kiss.

I could feel his pounding heart against my palm as he carried me to the bed, laying me down before covering me with his body.

This peculiar feeling that had begun tickling at me with the first touch of his lips had bloomed in a white-hot demand. The intensity of it left me weak. I was no longer pushing against the solid wall of his chest, but stroking it, taking pleasure in it. My warm flesh, still beneath the towel, was alive with rippling motions that sent waves of exquisite heat up my arms. And when his tongue darted out again to taste my lips, teasing them apart, I allowed myself to be coaxed. He tasted exquisitely of a berry wine and something totally him—a fiery combination that awakened a budding thirst deep inside me. His tongue played teasing games with my own, until my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest as my hand teased the back of his neck.

"I want you, Bella," he whispered against my ear, having broken the kiss, leaving me panting for breath. "_Desperately_. Do you know that?" His hands roamed over my barely clothed body, over my waist and my hips.

He moved his head so we were forehead to forehead, nose to nose. His ragged breath fanned over my face, warming my lips, cheeks, and jaw. It felt wonderful and the play of his hands on my body made me believe his words.

"I-I know."

"Tell me to stop if this is not what you want, though I know it is," he said, looking into my soul—past all the pain, past all I'd been denying myself since I conceived Carlie—he was looking at me, just me. The girl I had once been, the girl I was slowly realizing I still was. The girl I had forgotten about. I wanted to take this step with him when we were dating, but he talked me into waiting—he hadn't been ready. I was devastated, but after time, I understood and came to realize I wasn't either.

"I want you, too," I whispered, raising my lips to his and surprising myself.

He moaned at the contact as his hands moved to where I had tucked a corner of the towel, raising his body up from mine to brush the towel off me.

Breaking our kiss once again, he looked down at me. "Beautiful," he breathed out. "You are beautiful, Bella."

My hands went to the waistband of his lounge pants, pushing them down along with his boxers. He didn't stop me but helped me.

"Condom," he breathed out.

"I'm on the pill," I said, not a bit embarrassed.

"It wasn't a suggestion," he said, reaching over and opening the drawer of the nightstand. "The pill is no guarantee."

Leaving the drawer ajar, he brought the wrapper up to his teeth and ripped it open. He took out the round, disk-like condom and brought his hand between us, expertly rolling it down his length.

The hand that was still between us nudged my legs apart before brushing gently against my folds, finding me wet. He slipped his fingers between my soft folds, continuing to caress me as he kissed me softly. He pulled back and gazed at me as he slipped two fingers into me, his gaze never leaving mine.

I moaned as he slowly moved his fingers in and out of me. I never knew sex could feel this way. He increased the pace of his fingers, curling them with each inward thrust. I felt myself tightening and started to panic, not sure what was happening. I closed my eyes not wanting him to see my panic. He kissed my lips as the pressure continued building, whispering sweet words, and soon I was seeing stars as his name left my lips.

_What in the world was that? It was amazing._

I whimpered as his fingers left me. My eyes flew up only to see his put his them in his mouth.

Edward groaned as he cleaned his fingers. "You taste heavenly," he whispered in my ear as he shifted to between my legs, bracing himself above me on one arm. Grabbing his length, he lined himself up with me, pushing slowly into me, pausing when I gasped. I closed my eyes again and felt him stroke my face.

"Look at me, Bella."

When I did, I saw his unspoken love for me shining in his eyes.

"I still love you," he said, pushing more of himself into me. "I've never stopped."

A lone tear escaped my eyes, and Edward brushed it away with his lips. He still loved me, I didn't think he would after—the thought was lost as he started moving within me. He peppered my face and lips with kisses and soon the pressure was building within me again. His hand traveled down my body until it was on my leg and lifted it up. When he did, it seemed he penetrated deeper within me. He moved my leg to rest on his hip before moving his hand under me, coaxing me with it to move with him. I didn't think what I was experiencing could get any better until I moved to meet his slowly thrusting hips.

He hissed as his head came to rest on my shoulder. I moved my hips to meet his again and heard him hiss once more.

I needed more, but what I didn't know my body did. When my hips moved a little faster, Edward sped his thrust to match mine. He lifted me up slightly by the shoulder, and I brought my arms around him, digging my nails into his back, earning another sharp breath from him. Hearing his intake of breath caused the pressure to build even more. I ran my nails down his back as he sped up even more.

"God! I'm so close. Don't stop what you're doing."

_Close?_ I was confused and didn't know what he meant, but I ran my nails up his back before going down again. Right as my hands reached his ass, my body exploded as it had when his fingers were inside me. I gently bit down on his shoulder as I screamed.

"Bella, shit," he shouted, stiffening in my arms. He collapsed against me a moment later resting, his ragged breath fanning out over my flushed body. After second or two, he rolled, pulling me with him. Resting my head on his chest, I closed my suddenly heavy eyes as I tried to get my breathing under control.

**A/N: Thanks to Twilightmom505 and torisurfergirl for editing this chapter.**


	14. If I Die Now, I'd Die Happy

Chapter 14 — If I Die Now, I'd Die Happy

***** Warning: This chapter contains mature and/or graphic content. If you are not over 18 or are sensitive to such things, then do not continue. The next chapter will have a summary of things that happened in this chapter. *****

EPOV

"Bella, shit," I shouted when she bit my shoulder and that sent me over the edge. Wow! That was the most intense orgasm I have ever had, and the first I hadn't self-induced. I collapsed against her a moment later, resting a second or two, before pulling out and rolling off her. I gathered her against me, smiling when she snuggled against me and resting her head on my chest.

Soon, Bella was breathing softly. Hugging her closer to me, I prayed that when she woke, she didn't have any regrets and wouldn't be mad at me. She needed to be pushed, but I _never_ imagined things would go as far as they did. My goal had been to help her make a decision: either take what she wanted or tell me that she wasn't ready. No matter how she tried to hide it, I could see her struggle. So, when her hand moved to my hair and she pressed her body against mine, I couldn't really explain my actions from that point on, I celebrated. I also hoped she was all right with my admission before I had made love to her. I still loved her, and I wanted her to know.

I laid there for another half hour before nature called. Easily slipping out of bed, I went into the bathroom and removed the used condom with toilet paper, throwing it in the trash. After relieving myself, I hopped into the shower, rinsing the dried sweat from my body.

I toweled off before going back into the bedroom and pulling on my discarded pants. My eyes roamed over Bella lying face-down, naked in my bed, and I smiled—_this is where she is meant to be—with me_. She was so beautiful. I pulled a light blanket from the closet, placing it over her before kissing her cheek.

Leaving the room, I headed downstairs and straight to the laundry room, putting the clothes in the dryer. Once that task was done, I moved into the kitchen. I pulled out cranberry and apple juice from the refrigerator, mixing a cocktail of the two juices—a little heavier on the apple since I knew Bella didn't care for cranberry—in a crystal tumbler and put a green apple garnish on the rim. The grumble of my stomach had me going back to the refrigerator where I pulled out some watermelon slices, strawberries, and a handful of grapes. Popping the grapes into my mouth, I pulled out a heart-shaped cookie cutter and pressed it in the watermelon, filling a bowl with hearts. I cut a few strawberries to look like roses and pushed a kabob stick in them. I placed everything on a tray. After a brief stop in my home office to retrieve another one of the gifts of the gifts I had put in my safe and… to write a note to go with it, I headed back upstairs. I had also retrieved a ring box that contained the ring I gave Bella when she became my girlfriend and she had given me back when she broke up with me. I hoped she would take it back. It was hers after all.

Bella was starting to stir when I entered my room. I placed the tray down on the chest before climbing back into the bed next to her. I pulled her back into my arms and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Sleep well?" I asked, kissing her lips.

"Yes," she said, sounding groggy. She looked deep into my eyes and smiled. "I still love you, too."

My smile got bigger hearing her say those words. I kissed her again before getting off the bed to retrieve the tray. Setting it down on the bed, I handed her the glass. She took a deep drink, scowling at the taste.

"I hate cranberry," she said, taking another drink.

I chuckled. I thought I had mixed in enough apple juice to cover the taste. "I recall, but it's good for you," I said, sitting down. I picked up a strawberry rose and held it out for her to bite.

She looked at it like it was going to attack her.

"It's just a strawberry," I told her. When she reached out to take it, I pulled it away. "Let me feed it to you."

She looked at me for a minute before opening her mouth slightly. I groaned—I was getting hard again—as I placed the strawberry to her lips.

_She was going to be the death of me_.

She gazed at me through her lashes as she bit into the juicy berry, causing the juice to coat her lips.

That was it! That was all I could take.

I quickly put the uneaten portion back on the tray and moved it to the nightstand. Pulling her face to mine, I crushed my lips to hers as I lay back on the bed with her on top me slightly. My tongue whipped out licking the juice off her lips. She tasted of a potent mix of strawberry, cranberry, and apple.

One of Bella's hands found purchase in my hair as the other came to rest on my chest. I moaned when the hand resting on my chest started making its way down. I was stirring more and more with every kiss, every touch. She pulled back, gazing into my lust-filled eyes while biting her lip. I groaned again at the sight as her hand continued its journey down my chest to my stomach and coming to a stop at the top of my pants. Her face furrowed in concentration, but she continued looking at me.

Bella crushed her lips to mine at the same moment her hand slipped under the waistband, taking me in her hand.

_So going to be the death of me_, I thought again.

I was quick to harden in her hand. She gasped and let go of me. She gasped and let go of me, causing me to whimper at the loss and open my eyes.

"It's okay, Bella," I said. This was awkward. _Had she never felt a man harden?_

"It's perfectly natural." I slipped out of my pants and took her hand, showing her how to caress me.

Bella sat up on her knees and continued caressing me.

"Spread your knees apart," I instructed as I rubbed her hip. My hand went between her legs, caressing the inside of her thigh, going higher each time. As pleasurable as her touch was, I was not going to last much longer. I stopped my caresses long enough to remove her hand.

"Lie back," I said, my voice hoarse with desire. I willed myself to go slow. Bella deserved to be worshipped.

I kissed her lips lightly before kissing my way slowly down her body. "Just feel," I whispered against her fevered skin. I felt her quiver under my hands and lips. My left hand came to a stop on her right breast and began kneading it gently while my tongue and lips teased the other. I heard her catch her breath before moaning in pleasure, arching her back in a silent plea for me to take more into my mouth. I slowly switched sides, kissing the skin between her peaks before sucking the tip of the other into my warm mouth.

After a minute or so, I continued trailing kisses down her body, swirling my tongue around her navel as my hands caressed her arms. Continuing on slowly, I paid attention to what her body was saying—it would be hard, but I would stop if she didn't like what I was doing. I brushed my lips along the inside of her thighs. She startled but then groaned at the sensations. With my left hand, I opened her moist petals before I placed a gentle kiss on her little nub. Once again she startled, and I stopped a moment, listening for any protest. I kissed her there before running my tongue over it, tasting her.

"Oooh," she whispered and then whimpered in pleasure as I continued assaulting her slowly with my tongue, thrusting it inside her every few seconds. I brought my right hand under her left leg and placed it on her stomach, caressing her. When she started moving her hips trying to gain more friction, I smiled against her, thrusting two fingers hard into her, curling them as I sucked hard on the little nub at the same time—it was a trick I read about years ago when my curiosity about sex peaked. Her hips flew off the bed, and she screamed my name, coming hard. I thrust my fingers in and out of her a few more times, bringing her down from third her orgasm of the day.

I kissed my way back up. Reaching into the slightly open drawer of the nightstand, I pulled out another condom. I captured her lips before ripping the packet open and drawing out the rubber. I quickly rolled it onto my length. Capturing her lips again, I entered her.

Bella's eyes flew open, gazing at me as she wrapped her arms and legs around me. I brought my lips down against her as I slowly moved in and out of her.

"I love you," I rasped against her lips. "I love you so much."

She couldn't speak, but her gaze told me how much she loved me.

It was not long before we were both screaming out each other's names. I was careful not to collapse on top of her this time after removing myself. I rolled onto my side and gathered her against me.

After a few minutes, she pulled herself up on her elbow and pressed her lips lightly to mine. "Love you," she said. She rolled and stood—before falling to the floor.

I rolled to look down at her. I had heard of pleasure so intense that it stole your strength, but to find that I was capable of giving such pleasure, had me at a loss for words.

"My legs," she began, shaking her head.

"Feel like jello?" I guessed.

"Yes," she said, looking up sheepishly at me through her lashes. "Help me."

I slid off the bed and helped her up. Her legs were still a little wobbly, so I swept her up into my arms. "Where to?" I asked.

"Bathroom," she said as a lovely blush stole across her face.

I walked straight into the bathroom, setting her down and not letting her go until I was sure she was steady on her feet. I stepped into the enclosed shower turning it on before stepping back out. The blush on Bella's face deepened as she took in my naked form before she looked away.

I grabbed a tissue, removing the used condom and threw it away before lifting my hand to her in a silent request. She took it, and I pulled her toward the shower. Walking backward inside, I hoped she would step inside with me. I smiled broadly when she did.

I pulled her into my arms, wetting us both. Once we were thoroughly wet, I slowly began to wash her body. I had envisioned doing this simple act since she came back into my life. Once I had scrubbed every inch of her exquisite body, I lathered up her hair. "Tilt your head back," I instructed quietly.

She had been silent the whole time, though moaned in pleasure a few times. "Are you all right?" I asked.

She nodded. "Just hungry," she said, biting her lip.

"Okay, let me just finish up, then we'll get a quick snack and venture out for lunch before heading back to Forks." I kissed her lips, putting some body wash on another washcloth. She took it from me and began washing me. I held back my moan—_the death of me._

**A/N: Thanks to Twilightmom505 and torisurfergirl for editing this chapter.**


	15. The Killer's Message

Chapter 15 — The Killer's Message

APOV

"Sir, I know Bella's supposed to be taking time away from the job, but we can't ignore this message," I said, looking from Charlie to the evidence bag I'd put the letter in and rereading it for the hundredth time:

_The number of victims is growing rapidly, Commandant Swan, and yet you are nowhere to be found. And to think, you were just assigned the case a few days ago. Have you given up on finding me, finding out who I am? Have you given up on _stopping_ me? I sure hope not. Who knows, someone close to you could be my next target, or you. Twelve victims, now! Are you going to let more be taken and killed?_

"And then there's the fact neither of us can get a hold of her. Charlie's even tried Edward."

"I just want her to take a break, Brandon," Vance replied, it could be the speaker phone but he sounded more like a concerned father than our boss at the moment.

"We all do," Charlie said. "But this message can't be ignored. As much as I hate to say this, I agree with Alice. We need Bella back on the case and soon."

"I'll keep trying to get a hold of her," Vance replied, albeit reluctantly, before hanging up.

That was at dawn, and we had yet to hear back from him or from Bella. I had tried to call Bella again, but I was sent directly to her voicemail—again. I was about to have Charlie try getting in touch with Edward once more when my phone rang, looking at the display—it was Bella.

BPOV

I wrapped the towel tighter around me as I waited in Edward's room for him to return with my clothes, not that I couldn't have gone downstairs in the towel. I was a little sore, so he had asked me to stay in his room. My cell was sitting on the nightstand where I had put it last night; I picked it up and noticed it was still off. I turned it on with reluctance, and a minute later, it was going crazy. It was beeping non-stop as message after message came through. I connected with my voicemail after glancing at the texts and emails. They were from Alice and could wait, though the one from Charlie I read right away:

_Bells, as soon as you get this CALL ME._

His message concerned me, but it could wait a little longer.

The earliest voicemail was received at eleven last night.

"Bella, it's Vance. I need you to call me right away."

The next message was received a half hour after the first, again it was Vance. "Please call me." That was all he said.

There were sixteen more messages from him before the last one, which was received twenty minutes ago.

"God damn it, Bella. This is not like you." He sounded like he was in tears. "I need to know you are all right. Call me, please."

As soon as the message ended, I closed out of my voicemail, and my phone rang as Edward came through the door. _Vance_ my display read.

"What's going on, Vance?" I asked when I answered.

"Why weren't you answering?" he demanded.

"I just turned back on my phone—" I started only to be cut off.

"Where are you?" He sounded really concerned.

"In Seattle at Edward's place," I reminded him. Smiling at the thought, I looked up and saw that Edward standing in front of me with my folded clothes.

I had just taken the outfit when Vance spoke again. "We received a message from the UNSUB, Bella."

"When?" I started, dropping the still warm clothes on the bed. I sat heavily on the bed, dropping my head in my free hand and gazing, unseeing, at the floor.

"It was delivered sometime yesterday. Alice found it taped to the station door last night."

My gaze shifted to the clock radio. It was already noon.

"It was addressed to you, but Alice opened it anyway. They've escalated the time between victims—since you have been off. There are now twelve."

_Twelve! What?_ _I had only been off a two days. That was one hell of an escalation._

"But that's not what has us all worried and concerned."

_Did I really want to know or should I stop him here. He was right, I needed a break. I was enjoying the time off._

"It contained a threat."Vance sounded even more concerned now.

_Whoa! What?_

"The message said someone close to you would be next if you didn't start working on the case. Hell, you could be next."

_No!_I thought to myself. I remained calm; I didn't want to alarm Edward. It took all my training to do so, but I did. I probably already had Edward worried, though. "I'll get there as soon as I can. I'll also call Alice." I was about to hang up when he stopped me.

"Wait. Do you trust Edward and his parents?"

"Absolutely—" I was cut off again. What was with him today and cutting me off?

"Good. From what I have heard from both your dad and Alice, they are very close to you. They tell me Carlisle and Esme consider you their daughter. That you seem to care about them, especially Edward, a lot."

That's an understatement, especially after this morning and afternoon, but I got what he was saying.

"He needs to know what's going on, and I hate to say this, so do Carlisle and Esme."

"Are you sure?" I was shocked. That was against the very procedures I wrote. No outsiders were to be given intimate details of an ongoing case.

"I know it's against protocol to read those outside law enforcement into the case, but this is a …" he trailed off with a frustrated sigh. "I'm throwing the rule book out the window on this case, Bella. You trust them. Carlisle already knows some of the details and it won't hurt for him to know everything. As for Esme and Edward, I would like you to tell them. Hell, I'm ordering you to tell them. I'll take all the blame for this order should something goes wrong and they get hurt. But they may see something we're missing. Is that understood? You are to tell Esme and Edward."

"Understood," I said before ending the call.

I looked up, straight at a worried Edward. "I need to get back to Forks. A message was received late last night from the killer." I was terrified and didn't want to keep this from him, and procedure said I couldn't but I had been _ordered_ to tell Edward. "It stated that someone close to me might be the next victim, if I don't …" I trailed off, not able to finish as sobs coursed through my body.

Edward pulled me up and into his arms, not saying a word as he rubbed my back. I cried harder. I couldn't lose him, or anyone for that matter, I just couldn't.

I pulled away, and he gave me a sad smile. I knew exactly what he was thinking. He didn't want to go.

If I had a choice, I would stay and let the others handle this new development.

"We better head out," he said. "I'll let you get dressed."

I watched as he left before quickly dressing. I looked around the room while I dialed Alice. The bed was still rumpled from our impassioned exploits, no time to straighten it. "Are you all right? Have you talked to Vance?" she questioned when she answered.

"I just got off the phone with him. Alice," I said, shaking my head again looking around the room, "I'm scared shitless. I don't know what I'm going to be able to do on the case now, especially with the threat."

"You'll do what you always do, _your job_," Alice remarked harshly.

Her harsh tone took me by surprise, but it was exactly what I needed—a reminder that _when the going gets tough, the tough get going_. That was the motto I lived by, but I couldn't see how it applied to this situation.

"If something happens to anyone, I'll _never_ be able to forgive myself."

"Nothing is going to happen, not with us on the job. Now, get your ass to the station. We have work to do. Where are you anyway?"

"In Seattle—more specifically Edward's bedroom." I blushed crimson as my gaze fell on the bed once more.

"Oh, oohoh" she said. "I'll want details later. We—Rose, you, and me—need a girls' night soon. How long before you get here?"

"Four hours, give or take. It just depends on how fast I allow Edward to drive, and how long we have to wait for the ferry. While you guys are waiting for me, prepare a high-level report on what happened during my forced, but much needed two-day vacation. Call Carlisle and ask him to come. I want him included. Ask him to bring Esme, too."

"I know the drill. I'll make sure everything is ready, so we can dive in when you get here. Oh, the Cullens invited us all for dinner tonight. Not sure if that will happen now."

"It most certainly will happen," I informed her. "We can't get lost in whatever game this manic is playing. We'll work the case, break for dinner, and then get back to the case after getting some sleep."

"Whoa! This doesn't sound like the Bella I remember before she was ordered to take time off."

"I know. I have a reason … now to … you know what I am trying to say."

"I do. Would that reason have anything to do with a special guy?"

"Well … yeah," I replied before quickly going on. "Alice, look if I'm to get back to Forks anything soon, Edward and I need to get going." I hung up. After putting my phone in my pocket, I sighed and walked out of the room, hoping I would be able to see this room again someday.

EPOV

When I walked out of the room to allow Bella time to dress and call Alice if she wanted, I was a wreck. I had held it together as she cried in my arms. I couldn't imagine who this person harming innocent teenagers was, but they had crossed a line when they threatened Bella, _my Bella_, like they did. I wanted to go after them myself. I just paced in the living room as I waited for her. I was distraught and knew I wouldn't be able to drive if I didn't calm down. I walked out of the house and sat down on the front steps, pulling out my phone and calling the one person who could get me calm again.

"Edward," she answered after the second ring. "I didn't expect—"

"Mom, I need you to calm me down," I said, cutting her off before going into what I knew. "Someone close to Bella could be the next victim."

"Oh my," she said. "I don't know what to say that would calm you down, not after hearing that."

I groaned. She always knew what to say. "I don't think I can drive," I said after a moment. I looked up and saw Eric come out of his house. "Mom, I'll call you back in a few minutes." I hung up. I stood and ran down the steps.

"Eric," I shouted, running toward him.

"Hey, Edward," he said, walking toward me meeting me on the sidewalk in front of his house. "What's up?"

"I need your help. Can you drive Bella and me to Forks?"

"_Bella_? Bella Swan? Is that who you were carrying last night?"

"Yes." I said impatiently, waiting for his answer.

"What's wrong with your car?"

"Nothing," I said before lying through my teeth. "You heard what's going on in Forks, right?"

He nodded.

"Bella is working on the case, and someone close to both of us was taken. I'm in no state to drive."

Eric paled. "Of course, I'll give you a ride. I was going to head to Forks anyway to visit my parents."

"Thanks," I said. "I need to get Bella's overnight bag out of my car." I turned, seeing Bella coming out of the house and rushed back. "Go ahead and shut the door. I have everything I need. Eric Yorkie, you remember him from high school?" She nodded as I continued. "He's going to drive us back."

"Oh," she said, her brow furrowing.

"I'm in no state to drive," I said as she shut the door.

"I can drive," she said, coming down the steps.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Though, I'll admit it would be nice to have someone following us just in case."

I smiled at her. She was so strong. "Let me go let Eric know."

I ran back across the street and spoke with Eric before running back.

"He's ready. I have his cell number, too, just in case." I handed her my keys with a sigh. I didn't like this, but if she wanted to drive, I would let her. She didn't wait for me to open the door for her. I slid in the passenger side as she started the car. Soon we were heading toward the interstate, with Eric following.

Instead of calling Mom back, I sent her a text. _We're heading back now._

**A/N: Thanks to Twilightmom505 and torisurfergirl for editing this chapter.**


	16. A Double Freak Out

Chapter 16 — A Double Freak Out BPOV

When I found Edward outside, one look told me he was in no condition to drive. He confirmed it when he explained he'd asked Eric to drive us to Forks. It further told me that he was either worried or going to snap at any second, that's why I was driving and Eric was following us. If Edward snapped, I was sure I would need help calming him down.

I released a long breath and pushed my hand through my hair, trying not to turn my gaze to Edward. However, I could feel Edward's eyes on me. We'd been silent since leaving his house a half hour ago, the radio wasn't even on, and I had a feeling it was going to be a long drive. The conversation I had with Vance and what he asked me to do was running through my mind.

"_Wait. Do you trust Edward and his parents?"_

"_Absolutely—"_

"_Good …" _

_"He needs to know what's going on, and I hate to say this, but so do Carlisle and Esme."_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_You trust them. Carlisle already knows some of the details, and it won't hurt for him to know everything. As for Esme and Edward, I would like you to tell them. Hell, I'm ordering you to tell them. I'll take all the blame for this order should something go wrong and they get hurt. Is that understood? You _are_ to tell them."_

"_Understood," I said before ending the call._

I sighed silently, mentally shaking my head. I had little choice but to follow orders, and it would be better for Edward to hear it directly from me.

"Edward," I said without turning to face him. "You'll need to come into the station with me when we get back to Forks. You're going to be read into the case."

"What does that mean?"

I chanced a brief look at Edward. His eyes were dull and looked like they were frowning. His lips were turned down, marring his handsome features even more. I wanted to reach out and stroke his face, to tell him there was nothing to worry about, but I couldn't. His worry was justified. I've already given him a little information and knew he hadn't handled it well since he asked Eric to drive us to Forks.

"It means … you're to be told everything about the case, along with your parents. I've been ordered to do so." I knew what he was going to ask next.

"Why? Tell me why, Bella. Do you think I really want to know? Uggh! I hate that you're rushing back to Forks because of a message." He didn't pause or give me a chance to answer before he rushed on. "Hell, I'll answer my question. I do. The fucker might be after you."

My eyes went wide. This was why outsiders weren't read into cases. It put them in danger, especially if they went after the suspect. I knew Edward would want to go after him.

"That's part of the reason Vance gave me. You or your parents could also be next."

"Don't say another word," he said, pulling out his phone. "Eric, were getting off at the next exit … Nothing's wrong. I just feel a little sick and need something to settle my stomach."

I listened to Edward's monotonic voice as he spoke with Eric. He was still on the phone as I got off the interstate and pulled into the nearest gas station. "Edward," I said in concern as he hung up and got out of the car, rushing inside.

I got out and looked over at Eric. "Is he going to be okay?" he asked, coming over to wait with me.

"I-I-I don't know," I said honestly. "What did he tell you before leaving?"

"He asked me if I knew what was going on in Forks—I do. Then he told me you needed to get back since you were working on the case, and someone close to the both of you was taken. I didn't know you were on the force."

"I'm not. I'm a criminal analyst with Star Command. I was sent to consult on the case," I said, turning and not seeing Edward inside. He must be in the restroom.

"You want me to go check on him."

"Give him a few more minutes." I fell silent, praying Edward would be okay. It was a lot to take in, though. After a moment, I saw Edward as he came out of the restroom. He looked pale.

"You want something to drink?" Eric asked over his shoulder as he moved to go inside.

"Anything high in caffeine," I called out.

EPOV

_My parents could be next_. I felt sick. I couldn't lose them, not like that, as much as I couldn't lose Bella again. I whipped out my phone. "We're getting off at the next exit," I said when Eric answered.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing's wrong," I lied, of course there was, but I wasn't going to tell him. "I just feel a little sick and need something to settle my stomach."

"Okay," he replied, following as Bella pulled into the nearest gas station.

I jumped out of the car the moment it stopped and raced inside. I didn't want to breakdown in front of either of them. I was lucky; no one was in the restroom. I locked the door behind me and braced my hands on the wall, on either side of the sink. "Get it together," I shouted at myself through the mirror. Tears were pooling in my eyes.

A threat—the sick asshole had used a damn_ threat_ to get Bella back on the case. It was the one thing she would _not_ want carried out.

I slammed my hand against the wall. There was something she wasn't telling me. It was probably for the best. If she had told me she could be next … "No," I shouted. "I can't think like that. She would've told me if she was threatened."

I pulled out my phone again, but who should I call. _Charlie_. He'd be honest with me.

"Hello," he answered.

"Tell me the asshole didn't threaten to take Bella."

"What did she tell you, Edward?"

"She only told me that someone close to her could be taken. That it could my parents or me."

Charlie sighed. "The threat wasn't exactly that."

"Then what was it exactly, Charlie." I was seething, and the thoughts of what the threat actually could be were running wild in my head.

"You're not driving are you?"

"No, Bella has been. I had her get off. I'm in the restroom at a gas station."

"When you leave, let her continue to drive."

"The threat—"

"It only said someone close to her might be next—a person was not named."

"She wasn't threatened."

"No," he said.

I couldn't tell if he was lying to me or not. "Thanks," I said, hanging up. I splashed cold water on my face. I could see how Bella could come to the conclusion on who might be taken or murdered next. Beside Charlie, no one was closer to her than my parents and me.

"Edward, I picked you up a ginger ale," Eric said, approaching me with three drinks a short time after I exited the restroom. "You don't look too good. Are you okay?"

I looked out the window. Bella looked troubled with her eyes drawn together, and she was biting her lip. She smiled when she saw me, and I gave her a slight smile back. "No," I said, turning back to Eric. "Must have been something I ate this morning." I held out my hand. I couldn't help where my mind strayed—back to one particular thing I ate. It was a dangerous thought.

"I've got this," he said.

I just looked at him—I was going to pay whether he liked it or not.

"Fine." He handed me the drinks.

I snatched up a package of toasted crackers with peanut butter on the way to the register.

"Feeling better?" Bella asked as I handed the Jolt Cola.

I couldn't look at her in fear of breaking down again.

"Thanks." She sounded hurt but understanding at the same time.

After forty-five minutes, she broke the silence when I still hadn't said anything. "Edward, talk to me. What are you thinking?"

"What was the other reason Vance gave you?" I asked, avoiding her question.

"He asked me if I trusted you and your parents. I absolutely do by the way."

"You're avoiding my question."

"And you're avoiding mine," she snapped and then sighed. With a softer voice, Bella continued. "You answer mine, and I'll answer yours. Deal?"

No way was I going to answer her question first. "Fine, you first," I said.

She acquiesced, probably not wanting to argue with me over this. "I'm close to your family—you know that. Your parents treat me as their own daughter. Not to mention that I love you."

I smiled internally at her statement.

"Vance knows part of this. He doesn't know, at least I think, how deep my feelings for you run. For all I know, he might think I see you as a brother."

I glanced over at her with a raised brow. Did she see me as a brother? If she did, then what happened earlier …

"You know that's not true," she said.

"That's not a reason." I knew better; it was a perfect reason to tell us everything.

"It is," she countered. "It may not sound like one, but it is."

"I feel there is more you are not saying. Please, Bella, tell me his full reasoning."

She bit her lip and looked over at me again. I most likely looked like hell; I sure felt like it. "You want to hurt the bastard, no it's more than that," she said knowingly. "You want to go after the bastard. Don't deny it."

"I do, and if I find out who's doing this—" I didn't try to deny it at all.

She cut me off before I could say more. "I'll have Charlie throw you in a cell," she said firmly. "At least I know what you are thinking now."

"Then you might as well have your dad do that as soon as we get there," I said through clenched teeth, sounding angry and seeing red again. How dare Bella tell me I couldn't do everything in my power to protect her?

BPOV

"Take a deep breath, Edward," I said, lowering the visor and fumbling through his CDs in the holder there—_Bella's Relaxation Mix?_ I couldn't believe he still had it. This CD might have something to help him calm down. I swapped out the CD in the player for the one I had found. _Eternal Flame_ by the Bangles filled the car. I reached over and put my hand on his thigh. He took hold of it and relaxed a little. "Close your eyes and let the music wash over you."

The song ended, and I laughed when I heard the opening music for the next song.

"What's funny?" he asked.

Once Baalo started singing, he joined me in laughing before he started singing along to the _Bare Necessities_.

"I remember when we made this CD," I said when the song was over, and he reached over to replay the song.

"We had just finished watching _The Jungle Book_," he added, seeming to be completely relaxed now.

"I told you I loved this song the most out of all the songs in the movie."

"I still can't believe your answer when I asked you why."

"I still would like to be a bear and live in the jungle."

"You would leave me here?" he asked, feigning a hurt look.

"Nope, I wouldn't dream of leaving you. You would either be Bagheera or Mowgli." I started laughing when I saw the look on his face. "What? You don't want to be either?"

"You said the same thing in high school."

"I did, didn't I? As I recall, you said you would rather be a—" I stopped without finishing. He had said _he would be a bear and my mate._ I had playfully swatted him on the shoulder.

"_Be serious, Edward," I said._

"_I am," he responded, adding _Bare Necessities_to the track list we were creating._

"_No you're not." I looked at the clock. "I need to get back to the base. Charlie's off tonight and wants me to be home for dinner. I'll see you at graduation tomorrow."_

_He leaned over and kissed me. "I'll finish this playlist up and get it burned. And I am serious, Bella. I plan on marrying you."_

_I left the music room in a daze, and after bidding Carlisle and Esme goodnight, I left._

"You were serious, weren't you?" I asked. I had forgotten about that conversation.

"Huh," he said. "What are you taking about?"

"_Bella," Edward said, approaching me after the graduation ceremony with his parents. I had missed meeting up with him before, Charlie and I had run late. We got to the school just in time for me to slip into line as the march began playing. Charlie had just left, having received a call from the base about an emergency. Luckily, he had as many pictures as he could get; he had forgotten to charge the battery, and it died after I got my diploma. I had promises from everyone to give me copies._

_After a lifetime of Esme talking pictures of the two of us together, he took hold of my hand, asking me take a walk with him. He led me into the woods. I hated the woods and he knew this, but I always felt safe with him. I'd also come to a decision about us and college._

_"You're fine," he said when I squeezed his hand. He stopped a short distance inside, pulling me into his arms. _

_"I love you," he whispered._

I love you, too. This is going to be hard,_ I thought to myself. "I can't do this, Edward," I whispered back._

"_Bella?" he said questioningly, trying to catch my arm only for me to pull further away from him._

_Luckily, he gave up trying. When I looked at him, his brow was furrowed in confusion before understanding dawned in his eyes._

_"Listen to me for a minute. I'm going—" _

_I cut him off. _"_Why? We both know a long distance relationship won't work. We might as well end things now," I said, taking off at a run. Tears were streaming down my face._

"_Bella," he shouted as he ran after me, but somehow, I was faster. I saw as he fell to his knees right as I disappeared, having hit my panic button._

"Bella," Edward yelled, "pull over." I did, and Edward was out of the car fast, running around the car before I put it in park or put on the flashers. He yanked open the driver's side door, pulling me into his arms and, somehow, putting the car into park.

I heard a winded Eric as he asked, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," Edward answered. "We were talking about a CD I had made, and then the next thing I know, she zoned out. When she started crying, I had her pull over."

"Everything all right, folks?" someone asked from behind the car.

"We're not sure, officer," Eric replied as I continued to cry silently, listening.

"Miss, are you all right?" a kindly older gentleman asked me as he came into my line of sight.

I pulled away from Edward, shaking my head no. I wasn't all right, and there was nothing the officer could do to help. "I won't be able to drive any further, Edward," I said, not looking at him.

"I'm calm enough now and we are almost to Port Angeles. I can drive the rest of the way. Why don't you hop into the passenger seat or the backseat," he said, helping me out.

I got into the passenger seat as Edward and Eric talked quietly to the officer. I cursed the CD and _Bare Necessities _for bringing back old memories.

I closed my eyes when Edward got behind the wheel, and we started moving.

"Want to talk about whatever it was?" he asked, concern filling his voice.

"Not right now," I said. "Maybe later, when were not in a car anymore and alone again—whenever that will be."

**A/N: Thanks to Twilightmom505 and torisurfergirl for editing this chapter.**


	17. A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

Chapter 17 — A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words EPOV

Bella and I were silent the rest of the drive. I was troubled by her reaction to the song and her sudden tears. Keeping hold of her hand was the only thing that was stopping me from asking the numerous questions swirling in my mind. What had caused her to start crying? What was she talking about when she had asked if I'd been serious—_serious_ about what? About my need to protect her from whoever was threatening her? Hell yes, I was serious. But the little voice in my head told me she was referring to something else, something that I had said in the past, and whatever I had said wasn't coming to me. I knew it was better not to push her at that moment. I would, however, not let it drop. Whatever caused the tears, I'd get her to tell me. Hopefully, it wouldn't come to begging, but I wasn't beyond doing just that.

A little over an hour later, I waved goodbye to Eric as I pulled into the police station. I cut the engine, and when Bella made to get out, I stopped her by touching her shoulder. "Are you sure you want me to know everything?"

Bella sighed, her gaze moving to the station. "Yes, you might be able to help. I won't have Charlie throw you in a cell." She leaned over and gave me a peck on the cheek. "But I'll keep it in mind." She sighed again as her head swiveled back to the station.

Alice was standing on the porch, tapping her foot impatiently.

"I promise to let you in on other things, too. I need a little time to prepare myself mentally but keep on me until I tell you."

I gave her a tight smile. She had given me permission to hound her until she spilled whatever secrets she was keeping. "You can count on that."

"About time," Alice said when Bella and I got out and started walking toward the station. "Vance told me that the Cullens are to be told."

Bella nodded.

"I'm not sure I'm going to like what I hear," I said, offering Alice my hand. "Nice to see you again. I wish it was under better circumstances."

She ignored my hand and grabbed Bella, whispering in her ear.

"Alice, what do you mean another message was received?" Bella shouted, causing both Alice and me to jump. "How long ago, and what did it say?"

"Your dad wouldn't let me open it. It was found about a half hour ago."

Bella rushed into the station with me on her heels, leaving Alice standing outside staring after us. I could care less about Alice at the moment. All that mattered was Bella.

"Where's the message?" she yelled at her father.

"Whoa! Bells, settle down."

"I need to see that message, Chief Swan." Her teeth were clenched, and her chest was moved in and out with a barely contained temper. She was seething, and it was not a good sign for anyone, especially her father.

I witnessed Charlie visibly cringe, shoulders going in opposite directions and a scowl appearing, at the underlying tone.

"Glove up then. It's unopened and in the conference room," Mike said, bravely stepping between Bella and Charlie. He handed her a pair of latex gloves.

Bella took the gloves, still glaring angrily at Charlie. She spun on her heal and headed into the conference room, leaving me standing there not knowing where to go or what was expected of me.

"We're still waiting for your folks," Charlie said as Alice walked by and straight into the conference room, shutting the door behind her.

"Should we be in there?" I asked, not taking my eyes off the closed door.

"Knowing Bella, she'll want hear what was learned before going over what Vance told her to share with you and your folks."

With a shake of his head, he placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I never thought the case would come to a head like this."

"Can you tell me anything?"

I heard the jingle of bells as someone came in as Charlie answered. "It's best that you hear from the experts."

"Charlie," Mom said from behind me, "why was I asked to come with Carlisle? I don't understand but don't mind, either."

I turned and answered, "Bella has been given new orders, let's leave it at that for now."

BPOV

I drew on the latex gloves as I walked away. I was glad Edward didn't follow, but if I was honest with myself, I could use his strength to help me get through this. I needed to know what the latest message said, so I left him standing in the foyer with my father. I also needed to know what else they had learned in my absence.

Emmett looked up from his laptop; a faint, mischievous smile touched his well-cut mouth. He started to say something, but I stopped him before a word slipped out.

"Not in the mood for your teasing, Em," I snapped without remorse.

He grimaced, nodding. He knew not to piss me off right now. I was in a foul mood, tired, and hungry—a bad combination which meant danger for those around me.

"Jasper and Rosalie went to get more coffee." He stopped when I picked up the envelope. "The latest message…"

There was no post mark, no return address; it just had my name on it. I weighed it in my hand; it was pretty light—less than an ounce. I picked up the letter opener and sliced it open. "Pictures were taken, right?"

"Yep," he answered. He had turned back to his laptop, not looking up from what he was concentrating on.

Shifting away from Emmett, I saw that Alice had followed me into the room. Heaving a heavy sigh, I took out the single sheet of paper and placed it on the table with the envelope. Alice snapped a few pictures without me asking. I unfolded the sheet, noting the message was handwritten, as she took a few more. Picking it back up, I read:

_Isabella, my Angel,_

Why can't you love me?

What can't you just be my girl?

Why's it all got to be so complicated?

If you really love someone

I know you don't really love me

And baby I guess that's all right

At least I had my moment with you

And I'll have that the rest of my life

_Why are you allowing me to keep on hurting innocent teenagers? I love you—can't you see that? Why did it have to take me kidnapping and killing more for you to come back?_

_It pained me ever so much that you left again. I had no clue where you were, and my pain was so great that I let my rage over you leaving take control again. Don't leave again; I can't bear it if you do. There is no telling who I will hurt next._

_Oh, I have taken two more. Welcome back._

The message ended there—no signature. I had seen or heard the opening words before, but I couldn't place my finger on where. I felt my face scrunch up as the door opened. I turned to see Rosalie and Jasper enter with a couple trays of coffee.

"I thought you would be here when we got back. I got you an iced sweet tea, I know how you loath coffee," Rosalie said, handing me the only clear cup.

"Thanks," I said, taking the lid off sipping at the cool, sweet liquid. "You wouldn't happen to have anything to eat. Emmett, would you? I didn't get to eat anything for lunch."

"Yep," he motioned to a bag of chips and a plate of chocolate chip cookies.

I grabbed a couple of cookies, still deep in thought about the message. "Tell me what you can."

"Well, did Vance tell you there are now twelve victims?" Jasper asked.

"He did. And I am afraid the UNSUB has taken two more."

"The message?" Alice asked, knowingly.

I nodded, waiting for someone to go on.

"Then that's all we know. You read the autopsy reports from the first few victims found. Every single one has read the same."

"You can read them again yourself. But from the reports I read, I'd say we're dealing with a creep who rapes both his male and female victims and then bathes and grooms his victims to attempt to eliminate any DNA," Rosalie said in a rundown of facts I didn't see when I read the autopsy reports. "Not much to build a profile on, but one can be started."

"I trust your analysis, Rose." I shook my head. Why had I missed those key pieces of evidence? "Anything else?" I asked.

"We found the other victims—the ones we didn't know about," Emmett said, looking up once again from his laptop. "We had to review case files all the way back to 1997 to find them, but I believe the same _creep_ killed them. Same victimology and the coroner's reports read the same as the current ones."

"There's a pattern. A female victim goes missing first and then a male, not necessarily the female's boyfriend, though there are a few where that's the case," Alice added.

My head swung toward the wall where each victim's images stared back at me, seeming to say "find who did this to me." The number of pictures and map pins had grown. I had a nagging feeling that refused to take form as I continued to study each face. "Can anything be said about where the victims were taken from and then found?"

"No, it doesn't make any sense," Jasper said. "There's just no pattern and even those who know the areas are baffled."

"Who have you talked to?"

"The officers and the owners of Newton's Olympic Outfitters," Jasper said.

"Did you think to ask the Quileute tribe?" I asked, running a hand over the back of my neck. I hated suggesting the tribe. Jacob was the one with most extensive knowledge of the area, so he immediately came to mind.

"We were about to head to the reservation when Alice found the first message. Vance told us to hold off."

I had more questions but turned and walked out of the room. "Chief, can I talk to you in your office for a minute?" I didn't wait for an answer and walked into my dad's office. He joined me, closing the door behind him.

"What's on your mind?"

"Who do you trust on the reservation?"

"Sam Uley, Jacob and Billy Black, and Harry Clearwater. Why?"

Sam? I'd forgotten he was a member of the tribe. I hadn't seen him since he was transferred back to Forks. "Does Sam know the area well enough? I don't want to have the others you named involved."

"He knows the area, but not as well as Jacob."

"Call Sam and ask him to come here, please. And alone." I knew Sam and Jacob were friends. I didn't want to see or ask for Jacob's help for two reasons: he had never liked that I chose Edward over him, but once he saw how much I loved Edward he backed off, and he left when I could've used his help after Carlie died.

Charlie was on and off the phone fast. "He'll be right here. He was heading into town to get some items for Emily, anyway. He's going to call her and let her know he needed to stop here."

"Was he alone?"

"Yes. Is something bothering you?"

"No—well yes, and it's not important; I'll deal with it later."

"If it's about the case, it's important. If it's about Edward, it's important. If it's about not asking Jacob to consult, it's important. In fact, if it's about anything, it's important. Spill, kiddo," he said, sitting down on the couch and motioning for me to sit down next him. He waited until I was next to him. He put his arm around me, and I rested my head against his shoulder. We hadn't sat like this in years. "Tell me what has you so bothered."

"_Bare Necessities_," I said in response.

"I'm going to need a little more than your favorite song from _The Jungle Book_ to go on, Bells."

I sighed. "I remembered something Edward said to me the night before we graduated high school. We had just finished watching the movie and were talking as we started making a mixed CD. He said something that night I had forgotten about. You know what happened the next day."

"I remember," Charlie said his voice thick with emotion. "You never really told me why, though."

"And I still won't." My voice was low and full of regret.

"Fair enough," he said before asking. "Why is this bothering you now?"

"On the way here, I put in the CD Edward had finished and never had the chance to give me. The song was on it."

"Oh, I see." A knock came at the door before Mike popped his head in. "Sam Uley is here to see you, Chief."

"Gather everyone in the conference room. We need to get everyone up to speed, that includes Sam and the Cullens," I said, getting up.

I entered the conference room and walked to my team, speaking with them briefly.

"Are we to take it you have a profile for us?" Mike asked.

"No," I said turning. "Let me introduce the rest of my team. For the three of you who haven't yet met them," I paused not needing to finish. "The big, knucklehead not looking up from the laptop is Emmett McCarthy. He's a digital forensic expert. He can take any video or fuzzy photo and enhance it, finding what the naked eye missed. The lady, who just slapped his head, is Rosalie Hale. Rosalie, I would have to say, is a document expert—very good at reading what was not written. Next to her is her brother Jasper. Jasper is a silent observer, having bachelor degrees in both sociology and psychology, and a master degree geographic and topographic profiling. Lastly, to my left is Alice. I'm still trying to figure out her specialty, but I can say this: she can handle the media."

Everyone was silent as I gathered my thoughts. I had no doubt that they were going to either ask what my specialty was or why we had gathered everyone. I looked over at Edward and saw he had a puzzled look on his face as he examined the pictures on the wall. I couldn't worry about that now.

"And what is your specialty, Bella?" Esme asked.

Alice spoke up before I could even open my mouth. "Her specialty or rather expertise is in sexual offense crimes, hostage negotiation, obsessional crimes, and languages."

I saw Edward turn and gawk at me when she said the last area of expertise.

"Of course all of us are also experts in criminal profiling, or we wouldn't be here," Alice said with a little bounce.

"Now, I know everyone is probably wondering why you are here. I've been ordered to read the Cullens in on the case. I'm also going to read Mr. Uley in too in hopes he can help us on the geographic questions," I explained. "I know the Forks officers are up to speed, and if they don't have any questions, they may leave or stay." I watched as all but Mike and my dad left.

"I'm up to speed, but want to help if I can," Mike said.

"I appreciate that, Officer Newton, and I know I speak for my team when I say that any help you can offer we'll take. Let's us sit down." Once everyone was settled around the table, I went on. "Alice opened a letter addressed to me yesterday from the UNSUB, or unknown suspect. It contained a threat that stated if I didn't start working on the case again then someone close to me or," I paused and sighed. I didn't want to say the next part, and I hadn't told Edward because I knew he would freak out. He had anyway with what little I told him. "Or I, myself, could be the next victim."

Esme gasped and Carlisle put a comforting arm around her as did Edward. Edward glared at me but not as if he blamed me. There was hurt in his eyes.

"I have been ordered to work on the case again. It is our boss' hope that by bringing those that I am closest to in on the case, even without you being trained in law enforcement, you might be able to see something we're missing," I paused, glancing at Esme making sure she was all right. "I argued against this, but he wouldn't listen to me and told me if I didn't, he would."

"What was in the other message?" Edward asked.

"A puzzle I am still trying to sort out," I answered. I knew Alice had bagged the message.

"What did it say?" he asked, no more like pleaded with me.

I looked up at the ceiling, speaking. "'Why can't you love me? What can't you just be my girl? Why's it all got to be so complicated? If you really love someone; I know you don't really love me; And baby I guess that's all right; At least I had my moment with you; And I'll have that the rest of my life,'" I quoted without having to look at the message again. "Among other things but that says enough and everything." I looked around the room.

"Why would the start of _Why Can't You Love Me_ by Wade Bowen be important to the UNSUB," Mike asked.

I stared at him wide-eyed. "Are you sure it is a song, Mike?"

"Positive."

"He's right," Emmett said. "It is on _Live at the Blue Light_ released in 2007."

"Well, that tells us something more about the UNSUB," Rosalie said, jotting the new information down on the whiteboard.

"I think we need to go over the whole message," Alice said.

"No," I said forcefully. "I've already analyzed it. There's nothing more to be found it in about the UNSUB. He is delusional and thinks he's in love with me," I blurted out before I could stop myself. I slapped my hand over my mouth before I could say anything more. Getting up, I walked out of the room. I needed to get away for a moment. Luckily, Carlisle put a restraining hand on Edward's shoulder.

My reaction was unlike me. I knew the message needed to be over with a fine-toothed comb, but not with the Cullens present. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Two big clues—I missed two huge clues to who this maniac is. The fact that he raped his victims, killed them, bathed them, and disposed of their bodies. Then there was the song—I'd listened to it so many times, and I should've recognized it. I turned to re-enter the conference room, but instead rushed into the bathroom, feeling suddenly sick to my stomach. I made it to the toilet before the cookies I'd eaten reappeared. After rinsing my mouth and splashing water on my face, I took a deep breath, letting it out with a sigh.

EPOV

I wanted to go after Bella, but when Dad restrained me and leaned in to whisper, "Give her a moment, Edward."

I knew he was right plus I noticed something about the images of the girls. I waited until the door closed before speaking. "Have you really looked at the pictures?" I asked. "Especially of the young women?"

"Yes. Why do you ask?" Jasper asked, turning to face me.

"I'll share my observation in a minute. Let me ask you this first. How long have you known Bella?"

"We meet at the academy, six years ago. She had already earned her degree in communications from UCLA but wanted to do more. When we met her, we just clicked with her."

"Did she share any pictures of herself?"

"The pictures of her from college. She said a fire destroyed anything earlier."

"That's ridiculous," Charlie said, shaking his head.

I understood Bella's lie. I was in a lot of pictures with her. I turned to Charlie. "Have _you_ looked closely at the pictures?"

"Yes. Where are you going with this, Edward?"

"You didn't see it did you?"

"See what?"

"Do you have a picture of Bella from high school?"

"Yes."

"Go get it," I said. "I'll wait."

He got up, leaving the room just as Bella walked back in. I had hoped she would've been gone longer. She looked paler than normal but not sickly pale. Everyone was silent, not knowing what to say.

"What's going on?" she asked. "Why did the Chief leave?"

"He'll be right back," Mike said.

Sure enough Charlie walked back in with a framed picture. "Compare the pictures," I told him when he looked at me.

We all watched, especially Bella as he did a double take.

"My God!" Charlie said. "How could I have missed it?"

"Missed what?" Bella asked.

"The similarities are striking," he continued.

"What similarities?" Alice asked, taking the frame from Charlie. She gasped tightening her hold on the frame. "They look like you, Bella," she said, turning to face Bella.

"Exactly," I said. "That's not all—the young men are of similar build and physical characteristics as me."

My mother gasped next to me as she finally looked at the pictures. "You're right, Edward," she said before she started crying. Dad wrapped his arms around her and peered at me with unshed tears and fatherly worry in his eyes.

"Okay," Bella said, sounding oddly distant and detached. "That gives us more to go on. Sam?" She looked over at where he stood. He hadn't joined us at the table when we sat but went over to the maps.

"I can't help," he said. "I know the areas that are marked, but they're nothing special. Heck there is one location that does seem odd, and I don't know why a victim would've been taken from or left there. There's nothing there."

Bella went over to the map, and I got up going over, too.

"Which pin?" she asked.

Sam pointed to a pin, and after a quick look at the surrounding area, it hit me where the victim was either going, coming from, or trying to find.

"The meadow," Bella and I said at the same time. She started to collapse a second later, and I was quick to catch her.

**A/N:** **Thanks to Twilightmom505 and torisurfergirl for editing this chapter.**

**Song—Wade Bowen "Why Can't You Love Me" **_**Live at the Blue Light**_** released in 2007.**

**Victimology is a branch of criminology that scientifically studies the relationship between an injured party and an offender by examining the causes and the nature of the consequent suffering.**


	18. Story Time

Chapter 18 — Story Time

EPOV

Warning bells were going off in my mind as I scanned the area around the pin Sam had pointed to. There was only one place that the victim could have been trying to find. Or had the killer been trying to find the place after disposing of the victim?

Bella came to the same conclusion.

"The meadow," we said at the same time.

Her face became a twisted mask of shock as color drained from her face and she collapsed.

I was fast, wrapping my arms around her. She was dead weight, motionless. "Dad," I yelled as I eased Bella down to the floor, resting her head on my lap. I barely registered the others jumping to their feet.

Dad was already rushing toward me, concern written on his face. "Is she breathing?" he asked, kneeling next to me as I loosened her necklace from around her throat.

I nodded not trusting my voice, my heart pounding in my ears. I couldn't lose her. Questions I should ask started swirling around in my mind.

Mom and Alice were crying in Jasper's arms.

"Help her," Mom blubbered.

"What do you need, Carlisle?" Charlie asked, his voice sounding tight and harsh to my ears.

Charlie didn't sound like a cop at the moment but a devastated dad. I don't think he or Mom could bear to lose her either. I gazed at Dad, pleading with him to tell me Bella was going to be okay.

"Give me a second," Dad said calmly and in full doctor mode.

He looked her over and shook his head. "She'll be fine, just fainted." He looked over my shoulder at her team. "Is there anything else we need to know?"

I turned slightly and saw Alice was stepping out of Jasper's arms.

"Ummm. No. I don't know. Not at the moment. I'm not sure if we'll have to keep you informed," Alice said lowly, wiping her eyes.

She sound flustered. And from what I'd observed, she seemed like the person you would go to in a crisis, guess not. I couldn't worry about her reaction now. I needed to focus on Bella. What questions did I need to ask?

"Bella mentioned missing lunch. Could she have fainted from hunger, or did you think it's more from shock?" Rosalie asked, cool and collected like Carlisle.

Ah, that was one question that I didn't need to ask.

"I would say it could be a combination of both," Dad responded. He took hold of Bella's wrist and looked at his watch, taking her pulse. "Charlie, you wouldn't happen to have a blood pressure monitor, would you?"

Charlie took a deep, cleansing and calming, breath before answering. "Mike, in my office—bottom desk drawer, right side," he instructed.

I brushed Bella's hair away from her face. I'd been so wrapped up in my own fear of who might be taken next to stop and make sure Bella ate something. Luckily, Eric had seen to it that I got her something to drink.

"She did eat a few cookies and drink some tea," Emmett commented, coming into my line of sight, stuffing a cookie into his mouth.

He looked perfectly at ease with the situation, though there was a hint of brotherly worry in his eyes.

"That's good," Carlisle remarked, rubbing his chin.

"Here, Carlisle," Mike said, handing over what he asked for, a little winded from running out to Charlie's office and back.

I held my breath, waiting as the cuff inflated.

"She's not in any danger. Her pressure is a bit on the low side but should return to normal after she eats and rests," Carlisle announced.

A collective sigh of relief resounded in the small conference room.

"I wish I had a diabetic testing kit so I could see what her blood sugar level is, but I don't think, at the moment, it is a factor in her fainting. We should, however, take her to the house so she can rest and eat something."

"I'm glad Bella's going to be fine. And I don't want to sound insensitive, but you might want to get Jacob Black involved, Charlie," Sam said, swiping moisture out from under his eyes. "He might know more about the areas marked than I do."

"Bella doesn't want to get him involved. I'll give her your suggestion, nonetheless. Hopefully, she'll listen to reason."

"I'm sure she won't like that. Heck, I don't even like it, and I don't know who Jacob is," Alice grumbled.

"Why doesn't she want Jacob involved?" Mom asked.

Charlie shared a look with Bella's team and Sam. It was Sam who responded.

"None of us really know what happened between Bella and Jacob," he said with a shrug. "They were good friends one day and the next she didn't want to talk about him."

My eyes surveyed Bella's face. What had happened that she cut Jacob out of her life? I prayed she would tell me.

"There's no point on dwelling on it," I said. "If she cut him out of her life, I'm sure she had her reasons, but until she willingly shares, the question will go unanswered."

"So, what do we do now?" Rosalie asked.

"I don't know your procedures, but I'm calling it a day." Charlie stretched. "I'll escort you guys home," he said, looking at me, then Mom and Dad. "Maybe stay for dinner."

"You know you're always welcomed," Mom said.

Dad looked at her team. "You are still welcomed to come to dinner."

"Bella already said we couldn't miss it. We need a break anyway," Jasper said as I gathered Bella into my arms.

"My keys are on the table. Would one of you mind driving?" I asked, motioning with my head.

"Sure," Alice said, enthusiastically grabbing my car keys. "Jazz, you're coming with us."

Alice sure was a bossy little thing. Jasper didn't seem to mind though as he obediently followed behind us.

It was difficult to walk, and Bella was heavier than if she just been asleep and able to wrap her arms around my neck. I managed, and the pain in my arms and legs was worth it—it meant she was safe. I'd die before I'd let anyone harm her.

Bella was starting to come around as I placed her in the backseat. "Just relax, love," I whispered in her ear. "You had quite a shock. Dad wants you to eat, so everyone called it a night."

"Okay," she mumbled, not opening her eyes.

I chuckled as I walked around the car. "Edward," Charlie called, stopping me. "What happened on the drive back?"

"I wish I knew. Did she say anything to you?"

"Not much. All she would really tell me when I asked was _Bare Necessities_. Does that mean anything to you?"

That much I had gathered from her reaction to the song. I threw my head back, looking up at the grey and over cast sky. I stood that way for some time before returning my gaze to Charlie. "Other than knowing it's a song from _The Jungle Book_, I have no clue. We had watched it the afternoon before graduation. We might've had a conversation back then about me being either Bagheera or Mowgli." I shook my head. "I can't remember exactly, but I don't think I wanted to be either."

I turned to the car, putting my hand on the door handle. I froze, closing my eyes, my chin dropping to my chest. As if lightning struck me, I remembered what I had said back then. I had told her I would rather be a bear and her mate than a panther or the man-cub.

"I think you remember more than you're letting on, but I'll let you handle it."

My head rose and I looked at him. "Thanks, Charlie. I don't plan on letting what happened drop."

"I figured you wouldn't. Let me know if you need help."

"I will." Sliding in, I instructed, "Okay, Alice, follow the black Mercedes." Bella snuggled into my shoulder, wrapping an arm around me as we pulled away from the station.

"So, Edward," Jasper started. "How long have you known Bella?"

"We met when she and Charlie moved to Forks. She was in my first grade class, and we were instant friends." I smiled before relating the story. "As our teacher introduced Bella to the class, she hid behind the teacher's legs. She was so shy. That same day, at recess, the class bully, Lauren Mallory," I said and caught Alice's questioning eye in the rearview mirror. "Yes, the person you humiliated in Port Angeles a few days ago. Anyway, Lauren started picking on Bella, physically pushing her. Bella said nothing and just stood there allowing Lauren to continue hurting her. I ran over yelling at Lauren to leave Bella alone. Lauren ignored me and pushed Bella again. Right before I pushed Lauren away from Bella, the teacher turned and saw what Lauren did. I was reprimanded but not as much as Lauren. Once the talk was over, I turned but didn't see Bella anywhere. I eventually found her sitting alone near the sandbox, looking off into the distance. She was silently crying. I sat down next to her, saying nothing. Right before it was time to go back inside, she turned to me and thanked me. An unspoken promise of friendship was made that day, and it just grew from there."

"Awe, that was really sweet," Alice said.

"It was. A few weeks later was her birthday. Charlie invited everyone in our class. I think in hopes that Bella either had or would make some friends. Lauren was the only one that didn't come." I felt a smile creeping over my face. "One of my favorite pictures of the two of us was taken that day." I looked down and saw Bella smiling up at me. _When did she opened her eyes?_

"That was the first time you kissed me. It was a quick but sweet peek on the lips," Bella whispered.

"I still can't believe Mom captured it." I became lost in Bella's chocolate brown eyes. For the umpteenth time I wondered what I had done to make Bella breakup with me.

There was chuckling in the front seat. "I have got to see this picture," Alice said.

"Check out the mantel over the fireplace," Bella and I said at the same time.

"It's one of my, and Esme's, favorites, too," Bella finished still looking at me with love shining in her eyes.

I leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose as we turned into the drive.

"Your parents live in the woods," Jasper started, awed.

"Yes," I answered, reluctantly pulling my gaze away from Bella's. "They love nature. If you like the drive up, you'll love the house."

At that moment, the house came into view.

"Whoa!"

Bella and I chuckled at Jasper's response. The house was painted a soft, faded white. It was three stories tall, rectangular and well-proportioned and had a deep porch that wrapped around the main floor.

Alice cut off the engine and got out. After I helped Bella out, she led the way up the front steps to the porch with me following. Alice and Jasper, along with Rosalie and Emmett, weren't far behind.

Both Bella and I snickered at the "Holy cow!" that came from the four following us.

The front room opened onto a huge space that was several rooms at one point before walls were removed or opened up to make it all one large room. The south-facing wall Mom had entirely replaced with glass to bring the outside in. From the window, you can see down to the river.

Just to the left of the door was a raised portion of the floor that sported my majestic grand piano. "Behind the platform is the kitchen, which opens into the dining room. Well, the dining room isn't actually a separate room—it's just separated from the living room and kitchen by a low wall that curves around it," I said. "Can I get you something to drink?"

They nodded still speechless as they took in the room.

"I know what they like. I'll help you," Bella said, and there were grateful smiles as Dad and Mom walked in through the kitchen from the garage.

Before I trailed Bella into the kitchen, I saw Alice walk over to the mantel and start looking at the pictures. I smiled when I saw her pick up the one we had mentioned.

"Oh, that's my favorite," Mom said, filling Rosalie and Emmett in on the day it was taken and added details I had forgotten.

"They were so cute. Edward wanted to look his best and came downstairs in that outfit. I had tried unsuccessfully to get him to wear it, time and time again, but he refused every time. I couldn't figure it out until I saw how he acted around Bella." I could hear the pride in Mom's voice when she told them that. "I was surprised when I go the pictures developed. Charlie's camera had broken that morning, and he was devastated. Luckily, we arrived early so I sent Carlisle home to get ours.

"It's just the sweetest picture. We were the last to leave—Charlie and I got to talking about a number of things. I learned that his wife—Bella's mother—Renee had died the year before they moved here. He had no idea how to raise a child and had no family to turn to for help. I took an interest in his dilemma and volunteered to watch Bella after school. He didn't get off of work until five most nights back then. Soon, I was seeing Bella as my own daughter."

"It was great that she had you when she couldn't talk to me," Charlie said. "To this day I'm grateful that you took her under your wing."

"I would've eventually—we both know that," Mom said as Bella and I came in with a tray of drinks.

Charlie blushed at that, rubbing his hands over his jeans. He was obviously embarrassed by some memory. Mom laughed, winking at a giggling Bella.

"I best get to making dinner, and Bella, don't even think about coming in to help. You relax," Mom said in her _I'm not going to argue with you_ voice.

Bella wisely sat down on the couch, saying nothing.

"So, when did you two hook up?" Emmett asked, and I could hear the innuendo in his question.

My gaze drifted over to Bella, and just as I knew, she had a lovely blush coloring her face. Emmett obviously knew this weakness of Bella's and was beaming when I turned back.

"We started dating officially in eleventh grade," I said, taking a seat next to Bella, wrapping an arm around her. "Though, I must admit, we went out with our friends prior to eleventh grade and always gravitated toward each other during those evenings."

"Where did you take her? I mean, on your first alone date?" Rosalie asked.

"He took me to the place he liked to go and think," Bella remarked. "It was a beautiful day, and it hadn't rained all week. I remember that I'd had a bad day at school. _Lauren_ was being a pest—well, she was anytime Edward wasn't around—and when I met up with Edward at the end of the day, I was in tears. There was no way that I was going to be able to drive home, so I asked him to take me home. He didn't even blink an eye but walked out of the school with his arm around me and straight to his car—and on game day too. After helping me into his car, he made a phone call. I don't know who he called, but it didn't last long. Instead of taking me straight home or to Esme, so he could return for practice, he took me to _his_ meadow. I was confused when we got to the trail. He knew I was scared of the woods, but he told me to trust him, that the walk would be worth it. We walked for what felt like hours, and finally, the woods gave way to a beautiful meadow."

_Don't ask_, I thought looking at Bella's team and friends. Emmett started to say something and much to my amusement Rosalie slapped him on the back of the head.

"Don't even," she said to him.

Bella laughed beside me. "It's all right, Rosalie. Yes, it's in the odd area Sam pointed out on the map."

_Always perspective, my Bella_, I thought. "I wish I'd had a camera. When I turned around, there was a serene and peaceful look to her features. I knew it was the right place to take her."

"Who had you called?" Jasper asked.

"I called my mom and asked her to call the football coach to explain that I was needed at home but would be at the game that evening. I had also asked her to relay a message to Charlie that something was going on with Bella. When she asked me if everything was fine, I told her I didn't know but that I was going to find out."

"He never gave up even when I changed the subject repeatedly. He would always steer the conversation back to what was bothering me when I met him after classes ended."

"And," Alice asked.

"Lauren had told Bella that I had asked her, meaning Lauren, to the fall dance the next night. I hadn't of course. But, in true Bella form, instead of asking me if I had, she believed Lauren."

"She hasn't changed in that respect," Jasper observed. "Though she isn't that bad—questioning sometimes what a suspect tells her."

I raised my brow, but no one said a word further on that.

"Yet, she still went to Edward for a ride home that day," Dad said. "Coach Clapp never did ask why you were needed at home."

"Oh, he asked, and he was glad that when a friend needed me I was there, though he made me run wind sprints and laps after the team meeting Saturday morning."

"I was surprised he let you play that night," Bella said.

"So was I. He wasn't going to let me, but when I explained what happened to you he changed his mind, telling me that he'd heard about the incident from Coach Crow. Hey, you got to still cheer that night. How'd that happen?"

"Coach Crow witnessed what Lauren did. I didn't tell you everything in the meadow." Her free hand came up, smoothing the lines of confusion from my brow.

"Lauren had humiliated me in front of part of the squad when she told me that I would never be more than a friend in your eyes. I laughed in her face as I prepared myself to stand up to her like you'd repeatedly told me to do. She slapped me before walking away. The squad took my side when a gym teacher walked into the weight room. However, Lauren was holding her cheek like I had slapped her and was fake crying, telling the teacher I'd slapped her, when it was me with the red mark across my face. Of course none of us knew Coach Crow had seen and heard everything. Even Lauren was surprised when Coach Crow called bullshit. Crow excused me from practice, gave me a cold pack, and told me to go home while she and the rest of the squad determined what to do with Lauren."

"You were a cheerleader," Rosalie said astonished.

"Not just any cheerleader," Mom said, coming in with a tray of appetizers. "She was head cheerleader junior and senior year. Lauren resented her and had humiliated her on more than one occasion. Coach Crow never believed Bella, as there were never any witnesses."

"What happened to Lauren?" Rosalie asked next.

"She was kicked off the squad—she broke school rules by slapping me. Plus her grades were slipping, so she wasn't eligible to cheer until her grades were brought up. The coach was going to suspend her, but the squad voted otherwise."

"How'd the whole slapping incident start?" Alice questioned, slapping Emmett's hand away from the tray.

I grabbed a couple of salami and cream cheese rolls, handing them to Bella. "Eat them, please."

When Bella continued without taking a bite, I groaned my eyes meeting Carlisle's then Charlie's. They both raised their hand. I knew what they meant—I couldn't force her.

"I'd been sent to get her from class and everything played out from there. I think Coach Crow followed me to see how Lauren would react to me being the one to tell her coach wanted to see her."

"After I threw the winning touchdown that night," I said, picking up the story as Bella took a tentative bite of one roll—_interesting_. "I ran to the sidelines and gathered Bella up in my arms, kissing her. Lauren screamed. I didn't know she was in front of the students' section, and I didn't care. Without releasing Bella, I raised my hand, and the student body fell quiet. I proceeded to ask Bella to be my girlfriend and to go to the dance with me—like I'd planned but not exactly that way."

"Lauren, of course, screamed again and called me—and I ask your forgiveness now, Esme—but she called me a _bitch _and probably would have leapt over the railing and fence to hit me if Edward hadn't been right there."

"I take it you said yes," Jasper said.

"How could I not," Bella said. "I'd already seen him as more than a friend. Of course, it took some time to make another friend see how happy I was."

"Who? Have we met this friend?" Emmett fired off, curious.

"Jacob Black," Charlie said, "was the friend. And since he has just been brought up, Bells, Sam thinks he could be of greater help."

"No," Bella said forcefully.

"Why not?" I asked, trying to keep Bella seated. She broke free of my hold and ran up the stairs, dropping the uneaten portions of her food.

"You better let me, Edward," Charlie said when I made to follow.

Helplessly, I watched him climb the stairs. For the second time, I wondered what the hell had happened between Bella and Jacob. I pulled at my hair. From what Alice said earlier, it was clear her close friends had never been introduced to him. What in the world happened? I walked out the front door, needing air. Once off the porch, I turned walking around to the back of the house and down to the river. I let out a frustrated scream.

Pulling my cell out, I sat on a tree stump and hung my head. I had half a mind to call Jacob and get answers. No, I couldn't call him. Whatever happened was between Bella and him. If Bella told me, I wouldn't hold it against him.

**A/N: The nose kiss means you're the object of committed affection. A kiss on the nose is extremely sweet and can be a trigger in sparking instant romance or fanning the flames of love. Is it any wonder that Edward gave Bella this type of kiss? I think it was very loving, and given the circumstances and who was with them, endearing too.**

**We now know how Bella and Edward met, and to think, it was Lauren who helped them become friends. Who would have thought Lauren would have a hand them becoming a couple again? Remember the kiss Bella gave Edward after they returned from Port Angeles. Lauren was temporarily their waitress at **_**Bella Italia**_**. Makes you wonder what Lauren's deal is, huh? Any thoughts?**

**As for what happened between Bella and Jacob, and her and Edward, answers are coming. The question is—will both guys forgive her? Edward, in a way, already has, but what will happen when he learns why she left him?**

**Finally thanks to Twilightmom505 and torisurfergirl for editing this chapter. Until the next chapter!**


	19. Cleansing the Soul

**Chapter 19 — Cleansing the Soul**

**A/N: Sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I have been sick and haven't been online much the past week. I hope you enjoy.**

_**BPOV**_

The need to scream gripped me as I paced the floor in front of the bed. Hadn't I made myself clear? I didn't want to involve Jacob! I couldn't—no wouldn't—go to him for assistance, not after he_ left_ me lying in a hospital bed when I could have used his help. There had to be some other member of the tribe that knew the land as well as him.

I heard footsteps outside the bedroom door before someone knocked. There were only two people who would face me right now—Charlie and Edward. I took a shot, yelling, "Go away, Edward!" I couldn't explain to him right now why I didn't want Jacob involved. It would lead me to having to explain what happened to fracture the friendship between Jacob and me.

The door opened, and I turned, about to throw my phone, when Charlie popped his head in. "Not Edward, and I come in peace."

"I don't want to talk to you either," I said, putting my phone down before sitting down on the floor with my back against the bed. I rested my elbows on my knees as I held my head. _What was I going to do?_

"I know you don't want to talk, but I know you'll at least listen," he said, coming to sit next to me.

I placed my head on his shoulder. "You know I'll always listen," I whispered, the fight in me cooling.

"I know," he reiterated, kissing the top of my head. "I just wish you would let me or someone in. You can't keep things bottled up."

I nodded but said nothing—he was getting good at this parenting thing, and it only took him how many years? I was glad he was always there for me and that he had trusted Esme to help me when I couldn't go to him. That thought got me to thinking about my grieved admission to Esme. I told her things that I'd been afraid to admit to myself, let alone tell Charlie or someone who didn't know me. Had I, I probably would have been locked in a hospital room hooked to an IV—and I didn't need that torment. But, more importantly, I'd already started letting Edward in a little and wanted to tell him more.

He sighed and went on. "I know you don't want Jacob's help, but I think you need it. Think of the case, Bells. You can put aside your personal feelings long enough to see if he can help or not."

"I don't think I can face him," I admitted and that was the heart of why I didn't want to ask. "He was the one that found me when I…" I couldn't finish, knowing he knew what I couldn't say; the tears were flowing again.

"I know, Bells," he said, wrapping an arm around me.

He held me as I cried.

"Edward needs to know," Charlie said, breaking the silence when I was all cried out. "He needs to know how… _fragile…_ you were, and what you did or didn't try to do. He needs to know so he can help you heal."

"He does. I'd already come to the decision to let him know what happened after I left him. Is that the other call Vance was talking about that day?" I asked, still referring to how Jacob left me.

Charlie looked shocked.

"I didn't think you could hear us, but no. Vance and I had talked about calling Esme to ask her to come. I thought I was going to lose you that day, Bells, but I didn't want her to see you that way."

"Thanks for telling him no," I said. "Not even Alice knows how bad I was that day."

Alice and the others believed that I had a severe allergic reaction to the sleeping pills and that was the reason I was rushed to the hospital.

"Thanks to quick thinking on Vance's part," he said, giving me a one armed hug.

Another knock came at the door as I hugged him back. "Uh, Bella," Alice said, sticking her head in. "Dinner's ready. Edward sent me up to get you and your Dad. Is everything okay?"

"It will be," I said, getting up with Charlie's assistance. "I'm in one of my weird moods, and you know how those get. I could use one of your hugs, though."

Alice entered the room and wrapped me up in her arms. I wished I could bring myself to let everyone in, but Edward deserved to know, and soon.

I followed Alice and Charlie down to the dining room. Edward stood and held out a chair for me. I gave him a slight smile before wrapping my arms around him, taking him by surprise. I whispered in his ear. "I want to let you in, completely in. Is there somewhere we can go after dinner and talk?" I kissed his cheek after he nodded yes.

I was silent the whole meal, barely eating, but took a bite every time Esme's eyes moved to me in concern. It was almost funny, and I would have laughed if my stomach wasn't rolling with dread—I was worried how Edward would react to hearing everything.

Everyone tried to get me to join in the conversation, but I just wasn't in the mood to remember happier times—my childhood days, adventures with Edward, or how many times he and I got into trouble—with the darkest time in my life looming in my mind.

I saw Edward share a look with Charlie and his parents before motioning with his head to the garage door as he excused the both of us. "It's been a long day," he said. "We're going to turn in."

"Goodnight," Esme said, sounding confused when he led me out into the garage. I guess she didn't understand what his head motion was all about.

We walked out of the garage, and he opened the passenger door of his car for me. He didn't say anything as he got behind the wheel and started the car—and really, what was there to say?

I didn't know where we were going. Plus, I didn't care as long as it wasn't the meadow; I wasn't up for the walk, and it was still cordoned off. We hadn't been driving long when he stopped, shutting off the ignition before getting out. I had no clue where we were, having paid no attention to the turns he made, not to mention it was dark out. There were a few street lights, creating spotlight effects for a short distance. I waited until he opened my door to help me out, needing a moment longer to gather my wits. "Where are we?"

"The elementary school," he said, shutting the car door and taking hold of my hand. "It seemed fitting since we told your friends how we met."

"It's so dark," I said a little fearful of what could be lurking in the darkness. And with the killer still out there... I shuddered not able to think about what they would do to us if they came upon us.

"I won't let anything happened to you, Bella, I promise." He pulled open the door again, leaning into the car. He opened the glove box, taking out a flashlight—and the whole time he kept hold of my hand. "Come on," he said, turning on the flashlight, bumping the door shut with his hip.

I could hear the smile in his gentle voice. He was… happy? No, surely I was mistaken. There was no way he could be, but I couldn't bring myself to shatter the illusion—not yet. It would come soon enough. He would see that I wasn't the same girl I had been.

We started walking, silence engulfing us again. As the beam hit the ground a few feet ahead of us, I recognized that we were heading toward the playground. Both Esme and Edward had found me there countless times—in tears. It was a special place for me. Whenever Lauren said something that got to me, and I didn't want to burden them, I ended up at the elementary school. There was just something about the playground—the spot near the sandbox—that comforted me and reminded me there was someone who would protect me, who would fight for me, defend me. It was always that realization that brought me around, and I would find Esme or Edward sitting next to me, occasionally it would be Charlie or Carlisle, but most often it was Edward. I had planned to go there the day Edward had first taken me to _his_ meadow, though it soon became _our_ meadow, but I had been in no state to drive.

Edward was right. This was the perfect spot for me to cleanse myself from what happened and begin the next chapter in my life.

"I haven't been here since the day you took me to the meadow," I said as we continued to walk.

I breathed in the crisp night air, knowing Edward wouldn't ask any questions. He would wait until I was ready. I wasn't sure if I _was_ ready and came to a stop, dropping his hand, I ran. Literally ran as a flood of happy and not so happy memories washed over me as I did so. It was like I was back in first grade again, and Lauren was pushing me around and calling me foul names.

"Bella!" Edward yelled, but didn't chase. He knew where to find me after giving me a few minutes.

I found myself near the sandbox and sat down on the grass, drawing my knees up to my chest, like I did after Edward pushed Lauren away from me, but this time, I closed my eyes instead of silently asking "why me" while crying. I hated and blamed myself for everything that had happened to me over the past sixteen years. Regret washed over me, too, at the thought of how I'd left Edward. What pain had I caused him when I broke up with him? And it puzzled me how he hadn't—wasn't demanding answers.

I knew the moment Edward sat down next to me. Like he did in first grade, he didn't say anything. Not wasting a minute, I began talking. I started with Carlie's death, it seemed as good a place as any. It would also provide an explanation of what happened between Jacob and me.

"The hours after Carlie died, I was a mess. A complete and utter mess—I was in so much pain. I just cried and cried. Vance and Charlie asked me to see the base psychiatrist, Dr. Gerandy, and I went only because one of them drove me. Dr. Gerandy had prescribed me some sleeping pills and wanted to see me daily for a while. I didn't want the pills, but Charlie filled the script anyway. I didn't even want to talk to Dr. Gerandy in the first place and didn't, though she repeatedly told me that anything I said was between her and me and that she could see how tired I was." I sighed and rested my chin on my knees, keeping my eyes closing.

"Three days later, Carlie was buried. I was so out of it, I couldn't speak or cry. Charlie and Jacob both kept their arms around me, but I was numb—numb to everything—I felt nothing. When we got back to my house, I told Charlie, Jacob, and Vance that I was going to lie down and take a nap.

"I tried to relax and fall asleep, but I just couldn't get my mind to shut off. Everything in my bedroom reminded me of Carlie. So, I took down every picture of her, every picture she had drawn, packed them away.

"When I lay down again, I still couldn't sleep. I wanted to cry. I had cried for three days—non-stop—and all of a sudden the tears weren't coming. I was tired, tired of the pain, and wanted it to stop. I dumped a handful of pills into my hand and took them."

I wasn't expecting a reaction, but when he wrapped an arm around me, I relaxed into him.

"When I woke in the hospital a day later, Charlie told me that Jacob went to check on me three hours later, maybe an hour after I had downed the pills, but no one was sure when I had taken them. Jacob tried to wake me, but he couldn't—I wouldn't respond. Though, I could hear everything that was going on—I just couldn't open my eyes. I heard him yell for Charlie to help him and for Vance to call an ambulance. The heart-wrenching sob was clear, and even though I couldn't see, I knew it was Charlie.

"When Jacob came into the hospital room, he stayed long enough to find out I was going to be all right and left. He didn't believe me when I told him I didn't try to kill myself. I haven't seen or talked to him since. That's what caused the fall out."

Edward tightened his hold on me, silently telling me he understood—at least that's how I took it.

"When I was released from the hospital, Vance gave me direct orders to see the therapist. He even assigned someone to stay with me and to take me for my daily visits with Doctor Gerandy. I couldn't argue with him, he's like a father to me, and combined, his order with the look of worry that mirrored Charlie's, I had no choice but to obey."

I chanced a glance over at Edward and tears were coursing down his face.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself. Only Charlie believed me when I told him that—it was just the pain was hard to deal with, and I needed to sleep. I wasn't thinking when I took the pills, and I hadn't read the label. After a while, I opened up some to Doctor Gerandy, and she came to believe it wasn't my intention. She helped me find better ways to cope with the pain without putting me on meds." I paused a moment, taking a deep breath. "You might be surprised by what, or rather who, helped me the most."

"Do share," he whispered into the night. His voice was rough, tinged with what I can only name as grief.

"You," I said, snuggling closer into his side. "The lullaby you wrote became a great comfort, though it brought sadness at first since Carlie had loved it just as much as I did. Over time, it came to mean something more than you originally meant it to mean. It was a way of remembering happy times with Carlie. I wish you could have seen how her face would light up whenever she heard it playing. She loved everyone she met and would've loved you."

"I would've loved her, too." The way he said it had me wishing I hadn't waited so long to introduce Carlie to him and his parents.

We fell silent again. A half hour or so passed before he spoke again.

"You should know Charlie called me when he knew you were going to be fine. He didn't go into any explanations—he just asked me to listen. Why he didn't call Esme or Carlisle I'll never know." He let out a long sigh. "It was hard for me to listen, not knowing why he called me or what he was talking about."

Edward sighed again, running a hand through his hair. I couldn't imagine what Charlie had told him. I didn't have to ask or wait long for an answer.

"He started off by telling me of his hope that you would one day you come back to Forks and let people in again. I didn't understand and couldn't stop myself from asking what he was talking about. He ignored my question, explaining that you were fine but had unintentionally tried to kill yourself. He further told me that you hadn't been feeling well and most likely forgot when you had last taken something." He shook his head. "Now, I understand that call."

I didn't know what to say. I never imagined Charlie would reach out to Edward like that—Esme or Carlisle, sure, but Edward?

"Though, to be honest, he and I had been meeting or talking on the phone once a month after you lost contact with Mom. He had been feeding me information about you, letting me know you were all right. He never told me anything concrete about your life, despite how hard I tried to get him to. He always told me that it wasn't for him to share. I was shocked when he called me out of the blue and told me what he did. I wanted to rush to wherever you were, but he wouldn't give me an address. Please, don't be mad at him."

I took a deep breath, releasing it as my gaze drifted to the sky. "I'm not. Believe it or not, I walked into my house one day—a day when he was watching Carlie while I ran some errands—and he was talking with you. At the time, I was furious with him. I stormed to my room, grateful Carlie was still taking a nap, and trashed it. It was senseless and did me no good since I was the one who had to clean it up. Once I was calm enough, I asked him why. I was baffled when he told me you still cared about me. I didn't understand how you could after I'd left you, but right now, I don't want to discuss that."

He sighed. "Whenever you're ready to talk, I'll listen. And for the record, I never thought you tried to kill yourself." After a moment of silence, he pulled me over his leg and settled me between his legs.

We were engulfed by silence, the crickets the only sound. I laid my head back against his chest, looking up at the sky again. It was clear and filled with stars. I noted several constellations, Cygnus—the swan, the lovers—caught my eye first.

After a while, he spoke again, asking, "What were the tears about on the drive back?"

I froze against him. Could I tell him what really had caused them? It went with how I felt about what Charlie had told me—Edward still caring about me.

"If you are not ready…" he started and I cut him off.

"It's not that I don't want to answer. I just don't know how you will take it."

"Try me."

I gnawed on my lip in thought. "Let me ask a question first. When you took me into the woods after graduation, what were you going to say?"

I heard him swallowed hard before answering, and I somehow knew I wasn't going to get everything. "I was trying to tell you I changed my mind about going to the University of Alaska. I got into UCLA. I was going to ask what school you had settled on."

I extracted myself from his arms and twisted so I could look at him. "I know. I went to UCLA. I wanted to throw my arms around you and ask you to forgive me when I saw you on campus, but then you hugged someone else. I ran off in the other direction. Brad Delson found me in a sound room in tears."

"I know you went there," he said, giving me his crooked smile. "I overheard your conversation with Brad, but I knew you did before the concert. I'm still trying to figure out when you could have seen me. I'd been so careful after seeing you in your cheerleading uniform at the football kick-off event."

Well, that was news. I'd only seen him that one time and had wanted to approach him. Why hadn't he approached me? It didn't matter. There was no changing the past. "It was our freshman year right before the third home football game. You were put into that game with three minutes left and threw one touchdown. I was surprised you were on the team, though I didn't really look at the roster. I stayed in the background after that at all the events."

He started laughing. "It was Mom hugging me. She and Dad had surprised me by coming to visit. They didn't care if I would play or not. They just wanted to see me."

I just stared at him, my mouth hanging open. I thought back and was shocked that I hadn't recognized her at the time. All I saw was some girl throwing her arms around him. "I didn't recognize her."

"It's fine. We can't dwell on the past," he said before returning to his question I was sort of avoiding. "Are you going to tell me why you were crying on the drive back?"

"_Bare Necessities_," I said being cryptic.

"What of the song?" he asked.

"Not the song, but the conversation we had after the movie."

"Okay, you wanted to be a bear and live in the jungle. You said I would either be Bagheera or Mowgli," he said.

"And?"

"And what?" he asked, looking at me with a curious gleam in his eyes.

"You didn't want to be Bagheera or Mowgli, you said you would be a bear and my _mate_," I murmured.

He looked away from me, shaking his head and grinning. He remembered what he said back then. I blew out a breath. I didn't know what he would say when he learned why I ran.

"The way you ran off after graduation, Bella, it hurt. I didn't understand why you wouldn't let me explain. I thought we would've been married by now," he told me, the hurt he must have felt back then evident in his voice. "Hell, Charlie didn't even know where you went for weeks. There were search parties out every day, combing the woods around the high school. Dad called hospitals left and right, and Mom came here daily. She stayed for hours, hoping you would show up. Nobody would listen to me when I said you were transported aboard a shuttle." He stopped and looked down at me, where I still sat between his legs.

I wanted to cry at the long puppy dog face that faced me. His eyes were brimming with tears.

"When I heard you finally called Charlie from _Scotland_, of all places, I was ready to hop on the next flight out with him, but he and my parents talked me out of going."

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I said as his the tears started falling.

He reached up and wiped them away.

"I told Charlie when I called that I didn't want to see you. I never thought he wouldn't let you come with him. I'd believed you would fight him, not caring what I wanted."

"Wait, you wanted me to come after you?!" He stated it more than questioned, shocked.

"Yes. I thought you loved me enough to fight for me, to fight for us."

I was close to tears at the memory when Charlie arrived alone. I felt Edward tugging me back to him, and soon I was wrapped in his arms.

"I'm fighting for you now, Bella. I've never stopped loving you."

I felt him shift and pull something out of his pocket. I looked at the small velvet box he held out in front of us. I gasped as he opened it.

"I want you to take this back."

**A/N: Thanks to Twilightmom505 and torisurfergirl for editing this chapter. Until the next chapter!**


	20. Carlie's Father?

**Chapter 20 — Carlie's Father?**

***** Warning: This chapter contains mature and/or graphic content. If you are sensitive to such things, then do not continue. *****

**BPOV**

_I looked at the box he held out in front of us and gasped as he opened it._

_"I want you to take this back."_

Edward held in front of me a dark blue and brownish yellow sapphire ring. It was the ring he had given me in high school the night of the fall dance—the first dance we went to as an official couple.

"Be my girl again," he whispered—his warm breath fanning out against my cheek.

I took a moment to gather my wits before turning around completely. Settling cross-legged between his legs, I blew out a breath and looked at him. "Before I give you an answer, there are a couple of more things you need to know. You might not want me back when you hear the rest."

"Nothing could make me not want you, not love you, Bella. _N__othing_," he insisted, looking me straight in the eyes as he took my left hand in his, playing with my fingers.

He fell silent, waiting, knowing I needed to get everything out in the open.

"During my last year at the academy, I met this guy. His name was Raoul Kelly." I shuddered after saying his name. That was the first time that I'd been able to say his name aloud, and I think it was because Edward was with me. "I had met him at a dance club Alice and Rosalie had dragged me to on one of our girls' night out. I was at the bar getting another round of drinks when he approached me. He charmed me and was soon asking for my number. I was so caught up in his charming Texas manner that I didn't see anything that should have alerted me that he wasn't who he seemed—that he was dangerous. Jasper had tried to make me see that he was just after one thing."

I dove into the story, more tears welling in my eyes. I felt Edward squeeze my hand. I wanted to let go but at the same time didn't. I allowed myself that one comfort.

Edward's silent encouragement gave me the strength to go on.

"_Bella," Jasper said after Raoul left. "Can I talk to you?"_

"_Of course you can," I said as he joined me on the back deck of my apartment, leaning against the railing with me._

"_I don't like Raoul. He's not good for you."_

"_You just don't see him like I see him. And it would be weird, not to mention gross, if you did."_

_Jasper sighed and turned me to face him. "You don't see the kind of control he has over you. You jump when he wants something, no matter what it is."_

"_I do _not_!" I shouted, offended._

_Jasper put up his hands in a surrendering gesture. "Just listen," he said, calming me with his gentle voice. "That's all I ask."_

_I didn't respond, knowing I would spew something that I would later regret._

_"I see how you look at him, and I'm happy you found someone. Really I am."_

"_Why are you saying anything, then?"_

"_I care about you, Bella—you're like a sister to me. And if you were really my sister, I would still be saying the same things and a whole lot more to Raoul. And just like I don't want anything to happen to Rosalie, I don't want to see you get hurt."_

_I didn't say anything. I heard what Jasper was saying. He and Emmett were my brothers, despite having no blood relation. And, if I was being honest, Alice and Rosalie were my sisters._

"_Raoul doesn't look at you with admiration or love. He looks at you like you're some sort of conquest. He wants to get you into bed and nothing more."_

"_You're wrong, Jazz. He told me he loves me, and I love him. We've even talked marriage."_

_Jasper was taken aback by what I said and my fierce tone. I had never spoken that way to any of my friends. True they had been witness to my fury when someone pissed me off, and I knew they did everything they could to avoid being on the receiving end._

"_That's great _if_ he means it," he said in a placating tone._

"_Get out," I said, pointing through the patio door to the front door. "I want you out of my sight." I was seething._

"A week after the confrontation with Jasper, Raoul arrived at my apartment plastered. He was far from his charming self, and I sensed it immediately. I tried to get him to leave, but he wasn't having it."

I was shaking slightly, and not from the chill in the early-June air. Edward made to pull me into his arms. I shook my head.

"I won't be able to continue if you hold me," I said, squeezing the hand I was still holding. I started again after taking a few deep breaths; I had to get this out.

"_Stop being a… tease," Raoul slurred as he pushed me inside my apartment and away from him. He slammed the door, only the door didn't shut, it rebounded from the force. He lurched toward me, a little unsteadily._

"_Raoul, sweetie, you're drunk," I stated in a calm voice. "You don't know what you're doing."_

"_Shut up, bitch. I know exactly what I'm doing," he said, slapping me hard across the face._

_The force of the blow sent me sailing. I landed hard against the opposite wall, sliding down it. He was immediately on me, tearing off my clothes._

"_Stop it!" I shouted, trying to getting his hands off me. I was fighting him left and right._

_Raoul slapped me again._

_Tears started coursing down my face. Raoul was scaring me. The conversation I had with Jasper played in my mind. _

'He looks at you like your some sort of conquest. He wants to get you into bed and nothing more.'

"_I told you to shut up, bitch. I'm going to take what I want, what you should've given me by now." He kissed the side of my neck before sinking his teeth in._

I unconsciously rubbed at the spot, even though his mark was long gone, thanks to a great plastic surgeon. I peeked at Edward; there was agony painted on his face and tears shimmering in his eyes, threatening to spill over. What I was telling him was hurting him, but he wasn't going to stop me.

_I screamed, but he just sank he teeth in further as his hands continued tearing off my clothes._

"_Don't bother screaming, teasing bitch—no one will hear you, and you'll be dead by the time I'm done with you or nearly," he whispered against my ear as his hands closed roughly on my now exposed breasts._

_I bit my lip to keep from screaming again. I knew it was pointless. There was a loud party going on next door. Raoul was right; nobody would hear me. The pain, from his bite, was unbearable, but it was nothing compared to what he did next. He jammed three fingers inside me, and it felt like I was being ripped in two. This time, I couldn't hold back my scream as he invaded me with his fingers. _

_He pulled back. "Scream again, tease, and you will be begging me to kill you."_

I gave Edward's hand other squeeze. I couldn't continue down that road, and it should be pretty clear what happened.

"_Bella, you're-you're awake!" Alice exclaimed, coming into view with a tear-streaked face and bloodshot eyes, like she hadn't slept in days. "Jazz, let Charlie and the doctor know."_

_I moved my head and saw Jasper right before he walked out of the room. "How do you feel?" she asked, taking a seat next to me._

_I was still trying to process what she had said prior to asking me how I was feeling._

"_Confused and in pain, lots of pain," I answered honestly as the Charlie ran into the room. _Where did he come from?

"_Bells," Charlie sobbed with anguish, relief, and tears in his voice. "Thank heavens you're awake."_

"The doctor came in, kicking everyone but Charlie out. She started examining me, asking me questions. Mainly my full name, date of birth, the date—I was shocked to learn I had the date wrong. I had been unconscious for over two weeks. I was informed that I was in a medically induced comma so my body could heal from the trauma, but had been weaned off the drugs. It had taken five days for me to finally come around. I had everyone worried when I wouldn't wake up."

I looked at Edward, and like me, he had tears coursing down his face. That would make the third time he's cried with me. I went on, needing to finish.

"When Charlie and I were alone again, I told him I wanted to go to the place I felt safe. He arranged for me to be released into a Star Command doctor's care and for me to be taken to Scotland. It was when I arrived at my grandparent's house that I got really sick. The doctor in charge of my care was called and blood was drawn. A day or two later, I learned I was pregnant. The doctor wouldn't let me travel until the illness subsided, and I was further along in my recovery from the rape. After a couple of months in Scotland, I was recovered and together enough, not to mention no longer violently sick, to go back to the academy. Charlie, through Vance, had arranged for my assignments to be sent to me, so I never fell behind."

I closed my eyes, letting out a gusty breath.

"One day, after I'd returned and had a trying day, I broke down trashing the front room—I was alone, or so I thought, in the apartment I shared with Alice and Rosalie. I didn't fight them when they said my things were at their apartment, or when they said I was moving in with them. Anyway, I had just finished trashing the living room when I turned to see Jasper leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He said nothing as he wrapped me up into his arms, letting me crying. He held me until I fell asleep and stayed with me until Alice got home from class—he'd even cleaned up the mess I'd made."

I laughed through my tears for a moment. "You know the funny thing, now that I'm thinking back—I never told Charlie or anyone that Scotland wasn't where I considered my safe haven." I was fell silent, finished with that part of the story. I knew he would ask what Charlie hadn't and I would answer.

"Where, Bella? Where is your safe haven?" Edward asked with a voice thick from crying. He cupped my face, wiping a stray tear away.

"Here, right here in Forks," I answered as I finally allowed him to pull me into his arms. There was still one thing I had to tell him, and I could tell him without leaving his embrace. "When Charlie found out I was pregnant, he arranged for the lawyer representing me to have Raoul sign away his rights to any child born as a result of the rape. I couldn't have been more surprised when I was given a copy of the signed document."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. _Make it or break it time._ Edward would either hate me or accept what I did. "Hours after Carlie was born, I was asked if I wanted the father's name on the birth certificate. I said yes, having thought long and hard about that already. Charlie was shocked, but I didn't give Raoul's name." I bit my lip, worrying it. _Here's goes everything._ "I named _you_ as Carlie's father. I hoped you would accept her as your own, if anything happened to me, despite the fact we hadn't seen each other in years."

He hugged me tighter against him. "I would have," he whispered. There was no trace of shock in his voice, only love, pure love.

Edward and I just held each other. I felt so safe right now. We fell into a comfortable silence, both of us crying. We cried for many reasons: over the loss of Carlie—_our _daughter—for all the lost time we could've had together, for all the pain our long separation threw at us, and for the love we still felt for each other.

A half hour later, Edward broke the silence and, with a tear-filled voice, spoke. "I wish I had been there for you and Carlie. I wish I had fought for you, for us, when you left after graduation. There is nothing I can do about that now, but—" he hesitated.

This was the moment I was dreading and the tears started again.

"But it doesn't matter, none of it. I love you, and I'll fight for you, with you. I won't let you go this time, not without one _hell_ of a fight."

"I know," I said, my voice tightening as I cried harder. It took a moment for me to calm. "To answer your question, _yes,_ if you still want me. I need you in my life and everything was leading me back here, back to you."

He pulled me closer, turning me in his lap and kissing me as he slipped the ring on my finger.

"My fight for you starts right here, Bella. At the place we first met." He brought my left hand to his lips, kissing my finger and the ring. Drawing me tight against him, he kissed my temple whispering, "I will _always_ love you. I _need_ you in my life, too."

I smiled against his chest, my arm going around him. Breathing in his scent, I felt like I was home.

There was something I needed to ask him to do for me. Pulling back slowly, I swallowed the lump in my throat before saying, "I can't relate the full story again, but your parents need to know. I want them to know. Will you tell them?"

Edward nodded, and I relaxed back against his chest and cried—the tears were freeing, cleansing. I knew he was still crying with me. I woke the next morning not knowing when exactly we got back or why I was in the guestroom off the kitchen no less, but I didn't care. I had a raging headache from all the crying, but it was good to feel anything other than the pain of losing someone. It had been one emotional night.

I held my hand up in front of me. The ring from Edward on my hand felt right, as did knowing he would never let me go without a fight. I got out of bed and prepared to face what the day brought. I was happy for the first time in a long time and to think I owed it all to _Bare Necessities_.

**EPOV**

I hadn't expected Bella to tell me anymore, and I was puzzled when she said that I might not want her after hearing the rest of what she had to tell me. Didn't she realize I would love her no matter what? That nothing she could tell me would change my mind. Gazing into her eyes, I could see that she needed to tell me before taking the ring back. I wasn't going to stop her.

She started by telling me how she met a guy and what Jasper had told her. I couldn't understand why he would say what he did and then turn around saying he was glad she was happy. Though, I was only hearing her side. Jasper had to have had good reasons for talking with her. I had to give him credit, he had some guts to face Bella's temper.

When she started trembling—from what I could only imagine—it hurt that she wouldn't let me wrap my arms around her, to comfort her, to lend her my strength. I might not have fully understood but was content, for the moment, to just hold her hand, squeezing it back letting her know I was there for her.

When she was finally able to continue, I was appalled by what the bastard did to her. I wanted to ask questions but _knew_ she had to get it _all_ out, had to tell me. Luckily, she had friends that cared and were there for her when I wasn't in her life. I pulled into my arms when I thought she was done—I was wrong, there was more, but she didn't pull away.

It came as no surprise to me when she said I was who she named as Carlie's father. Even before she confirmed what I somehow already comprehended, I knew I would've accepted Carlie as my own had Bella contacted me. I would've protected them both with my life. I should've been surprised by that realization, but then again, I've always felt that way, and I planned on doing everything I could to protect Bella.

I cried with Bella for the longest time once we had said everything that needed to be said. When she stilled in my arms, I just sat there and let her fall into a sleep. It was nearing dawn, by the looks of the sky, and I wasn't ready to go. So I continued to sit there and watched the sun come up. Once it was painting the sky in brilliant shades of orange, yellow, and red, I stood with Bella in my arms. As I drove home, I turned on the CD and found _Bare Necessities_. Who would have known that this song would change our lives, not once, but twice?

Alice and Jasper were just getting out a car when I pulled in. I shut off the car and greeted them after getting out. "Jasper, Alice" I said, shaking their hands. "I know we've just met and everything, but could I speak with the both of you."

"Uh, sure," Jasper answered, sharing a look with Alice before I gathered Bella into my arms, leading the way through the front door Mom had just opened.

"Later," I told her as I walked toward the downstairs guestroom. When I returned to the living room, I was met with puzzled looks on not only Jasper and Alice's faces, but also Charlie's and my parents.

Ignoring the questions in my mother's eyes, I turned to Alice and Jasper. "I want to thank you both for being there when Bella needed you."

"Which time?" Jasper asked, realizing I knew something.

_There was more than time!_

"Let's all sit, and I'll tell you what she told me," I said, looking at my parents. I didn't know how Mom was going to take it. But I did know she wasn't going to like what I was going to say.


End file.
